Classy Broad

oh my word.

2010-09-23T23:56:00.004-04:00

oh my. almost a month has passed again on me, where does the time go?! jeesh. well. since the last blog. i've gotten a new job, olivia is now 18 lbs & 29 inches, eating solid foods, screaming up a storm (and i mean screaming), snugglebutt turned 6!!!, his spooky costume party is this weekend, snugglebutt has also started fall soccer & kindergarten, my beloved* is still working the crazii schedule of the overnight life, and i have begun enjoying the part time working mom life. jeesh. a lot has been going on. olivia is getting so big on us so fast. watching snugglebutt age & grow didn't seem to be so abrupt but looking back on his pictures & what he looked like three years ago when i met him (omg! this winter will be three years, jeesh) but olivia just keeps growing longer & longer it seems everyday. i don't like it at all. i want my teenie tiny baby back. altho she is a lot easier & more fun now, i want my little peanut back. i guess we're just living life. things have been going swimmingly. but the crazii season has begun for us. it begins at the end of august. we have three kids' birthdays in the family, then snugglebutts, then a bunch of the adults in the family, olivia's & the holidays. is it new years yet? LoL happy thursday everyone.

pain in the butt networks

2010-08-25T19:10:00.003-04:00

so these "social networks" that are suppose to help us stay in contact with people from our past, relatives, etc are really beginning to get on my last nerve for a number of reasons. people that cry/b!tch/moan on these websites about how it's raining or their baby daddy is a dead beat really are killing me. okay obvious if you have a "baby daddy" rather than your child's father we understand you are not together anymore or is your favorite person because you're not giving him a name & i find that "baby daddy" is always a negative phrase, so please why do you need to continue on with a huge b!tch-fest about why he sucks. really? we all have our issues & at one point you liked this guy enough to allow him to donate sperm & give you your wonderful bundle of joy, so shut it. another reason being these little girls with their inappropriate pictures, words, sayings. okay i shouldn't even say little girls here because their are women my age or older that are doing the same thing. granted i say curse words on there & have pictures of drinking that aren't appropriate as well but these girls are putting things on here that i would imagine they wouldn't pull out at a family reunion & let their parents, brothers, uncles, etc see or hear them why is it okay online? people take these websites too seriously. there was life once before these websites people, do we remember this? or has our brains been so fried from starting at the computer screens so long we can't remember that far back? another reason linking into the last reason, but if something happens outside of these websites it is either plastered all over it or you end up being deleted as a friend. yes i understand these websites aren't that serious, i just stated that. but if something happens with other parties that you had no knowledge of, weren't actually involved in (unfortunately you are in a round about way but didn't partake in the actions) why does it need to involve you on the internet? seriously. another one! grow some balls, i am just as guilty for this one. but if you have something to say, say it!! i call my version "venting" because i am surrounded by some people who can't handle me just being blunt and saying what i mean when i mean it. things need to be "PG-d" down or wait until the others involved calm down because they can't handle too much at a time. blarg! people and these websites are so frustrating. if i didn't have my little lady & family all over the world who have yet to meet her, i swear i'd just delete it & be done with them all. so frustrating sometimes, the things you need to read.
also. i pulled something in my neck at work today so i am a little testy from the soreness & inability to turn to the right completely. boo to stupid whiplash.

to perm or not to perm?

2010-08-19T23:14:00.002-04:00

that is the question. please, any hair dressers or anyone with experience in perms please assist with this. i am a serious chicken when it comes to extreme changes. i did it once with an at-home kit & it came out fairly nicely but i wanted it out faster than i adjusted to it. so i ask,
to perm or not to perm?
i won a gift certificate for a good amount of money to a really nice salon & figured i'd snag the opportunity to do something big (costly) since i wouldn't do it on a normal basis. so should i just get my blonde blonde back or should i try a perm again?

question for the parents.

2010-08-13T10:54:00.003-04:00

okay parents of the blogging world, i need some perspectives on a subject. olivia rose* has been a terror all week, she's teething so she's miserable. but that isn't the topic today. i had finally settled her down last night, literally got to put her down in her swing & walk away for a minute. so as i did that & walked outside for a smoke (yes, i smoke i know i know it's my vice) but anywho. so i am on my way out & a few people come over. i say please excuse me for a minute i'll be right back, if olivia isn't her usually perky self please don't mind her she's teething & has been a crank all week, but i just settled her down so please leave her be. well!!! i come back in five minutes later to hear "olivia sit down, oh man i can't back her back in" so i admit i did charge forward & push the person out of the way a bit, saying ok i got it i'll get her back in, person was persistent in helping so i continue with i got it leave it it's okay. i then ask, why did we take her out of the swing, did she spaz out? i am answered with oh no she just wanted to hold her. WHAT! so after i tell you not to take her out of her swing, you just take her out hand her off to someone i don't know & none of you wash your hands & i know that they smoked as well before they came in & THEY DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS. so i got pissed. i picked up olivia, changed her in her bedroom, put her in her walker in the kitchen (the people were in the living room) and washed OTHER PEOPLE'S DISHES YET AGAIN! i wasn't rude, two of the people were chit chatting about a resume but the third talked to me & olivia & of course i wasn't rude & talked back. so the friends per-seed to leave, we say goodbye, she thanks me for letting me hold olivia HEY SHITFACE I DIDN'T LET YOU YOU GUYS HELPED YOURSELF. i of course didn't say that. then one of the people come back & said i didn't mean to upset you, we just wanted to hold her. i said that's fine i wouldn't have had an issue with her holding olivia she takes care of kids but you didn't ask her you just helped yourself & you never do that so all of a sudden people come over & you do, none of you washed your hands & had come in from smoking & you know i want everyone's hands washed before holding her, and i had just said that i had settled her down to leave her be. i mean it's a common courtesy to just listen to what the mother says or at least ask before you just do it. well! then this same girl proceeds to text my beloved* while he is at work saying that she was really sorry didn't mean to upset anyone & that i had embarrassed her? really. fcuk that. you never just pick up my kid, you never touch her cause you don't wash your hands, i don't leave her alone with you & leave you incharge of her ever and now all of a sudden there are people here & you wanna act like olivia is a common sharing piece of furniture? really. i was furious & honestly don't even give a shit anymore if i upset or embarrassed her. i mean i tried my hardest not to be rude, or mean (cause apparently i have a mean side to me) but just to say my point & leave it at that. but now! now because you are a huge pussy & can't say something to my face and because you cry to my beloved* about something that doesn't involve him while he's at work i could care less about your fcuking feelings. i am sorry, but parents out there am i wrong? i'm not looking to keep olivia in a bubble, people can hold her & such but because of her whole episode at birth since the day she came home, NO! before she came home & we were still pregnant we made it pretty clear we wanted people to wash & sanitize. i mean we have at least one sanitizer bottle in every room, the truck, diaper bag, all of the carriages. can we get anymore clear than that? shit. i guess i just want the respect of being asked before you manhandle my kid. blagh. so that was my thursday night, how was everyone else's? i am so over this little episode, they can dwell on this shit but i will not but the next time i will not be so poliet or quiet about it, i'll really embarrass their skanky asses.

2010-08-11T00:05:00.002-04:00

so this is my first time blogging from my phone, exciting* so I was just wondering if other parents out there get bummy. I mean we work, take care of our little ones, our homes, loved ones, attempt at having social lives . .. .its hard. I know we all get burnt out but do any of you get bummy? I mean, I love my daughter, she is the light of my life I could be in tears & her smile/laugh will cheer me right up & make me forget about the rest of the world but then she naps or runs off to play & I'm back to me & my thoughts. I love my life, don't get the wrong impression. But being run down, hot & sweaty can equal bummy? Right? Blah. I'm working again so maybe that's what it is, separate anxiety, working 6 days a week sucks period but leaving my little one behind makes it worse hopefully this schedule doesn't last too much longer. Blah. That's all I got, blah. This weekend we have exciting plans for the kids both weekend days, some of which includes family* which I'm wicked excited about. My parents have become super busy in their older years LoL don't tell my mom I said that. To the weekend!

i want my baby!

2010-07-30T13:54:00.002-04:00

so this week has been my first full week back to work, since my little peanut has been born. i know, it's been 8 months & i was lucky enough to stay home with her that entire time. i wanted to work, i wanted to get out of the house, have a few extra dollars to help out my beloved* & be that much more comfortable. i am only working part time, literally three minutes from my house and it's an easy, fun job. but the way my schedule is it has me working six days a week, for four or five hours, i think i have one six hour day. i am enjoying it. i work usually 11-3 or 4 & olivia rose usually naps around noon til 3 sometimes a little off that schedule, but i'm not missing too much. i do work one night & a mid shift but last night & tonight my little lady is staying with her nana & papa, my parents. so i am missing her like crazii. yes, everyone has told me it gets easier & i need the me-time. i'm not complaining about work in any way shape or form, i wanted to work, i did this myself. but i miss her. i miss her like crazii, while i'm working i miss her, but it's not that bad cause obviously i'm busy & going, but the second i come home & she is sleeping or not here, i am like baby girl! come home to muma. arg. i guess i was just looking for another outlet to get this separation anxiety out, my beloved* says it gets easier & reminds me why i'm working but it's tough on a first time mom. i just want to snuggle her up & never let her go. i don't think i will handle pre-K & kindergarden day one drop-off well at all!

when is enough enough

2010-07-28T13:59:00.004-04:00

so my question for today is. when do you just say enough is enough?
we all have enough one our plates; we have kids, families, jobs, lives, so when do you say okay this has gone on long enough & being the "adult" or "being the bigger person" is just enough. i mean, yes, if you "be the bigger person" they say you win because you were strong enough to be better than others. but with having a life, commitments, responsibilities adding up when is it like okay you need to grow up as well & do your half. i would love to be able to go into detail about this topic but of course the whole allowing people into your life & putting it all out there sometimes isn't the best idea. anyone can come onto any website at any time & read this & figure out what you're talking about & in the end it isn't worth it. but when is it? when is it the time for the bigger person to just be like "listen, i don't mind continuing as is but i need a little help from the other end" that is my question. i don't mind playing housewife, mom, babysitter, laundry lady, working mom, housekeeper, peacemaker, party planner, the one who worries about what will happen if we do this, i sometimes enjoy most of these things but when is it my turn to be like "fcuk it, i'm taking the day off from it all" i need a vacation; mentally, physically & emotionally. but that is off in the far distance for me at this time too much going on, coming up. birthdays, parties, holidays, just began working again, things need to get done. but that day will come & those at the other end of my little fit i can promise will not be happy campers. and of course i don't want to come across the rude, mean b!tch that i know i do sometimes but a girls gotta express herself and after holding things in for so long it probably will not be a nice little sit down conversation. oh well.

(just to clarify, i am extremely happy with where my life is. i love my family, friends, working but there are certain aspects or people that just make things a little more difficult. if some people would just lend a helping hand or keep their crappy, debbie-downer mouths shut that would be just as helpful) happy hump day fellow bloggers.

he said she said crowd

2010-07-25T17:26:00.002-04:00

okay. so it's been almost a month since my last blog. i know! i am seriously slacking. with olivia now 8 months old & mobile, only in her walker or walks with support from someone, it makes things a little difficult. i also just began working part-time yesterday, super exciting. life is crazii. baby, five year old, my beloved*, house work, real work, and trying to attempt at having a social life and of course sleeping! i love sleep it gets tough to sit here & blog.
all is well with us. olivia just had her six month checkup with her cardiologist & she got a clean bill of health. the appt was a difficult one tho. she was sedated for an ultrasound of her heart; so she wasn't able to eat or drink for a few hours before, we had to keep her awake on the 40 minute car ride down, and then right after giving her the meds to help her sleep she was miserable! watching your child cry, scream, fuss for food & to stay awake is torture. but it was worth it. her cardiologist, dr diego, thought she looked amazing & her ultrasound cleared us of any worries we thought we might have had. so that was super. her older brother snugglebutt finally held her, he loves playing with her & has all these plans to teach her different stuff. so we are super excited about all of his involvement he has had with her lately. olivia still wants absolutely nothing to do with baby food. now when i say baby food i mean the jars of mush we're suppose to give our lil ones. the gerber puffs, real fruit in a mesh bag, any lil snacks we give her she loves but crack open that jar & attempt to put it near her & we end up wearing it. i have no idea what to do, if anyone has any tips (please don't say "she'll eat when she's ready" that's all i've been getting) please send them this way.

but i wanted to blog tonight because i am now 25, have a child, in a serious relationship & have seriously grown up even before olivia was born i was a little bit more mature in certain aspects than others my age & some older than me. why is it that all of these websites; facebook, myspace, twitter, blogging gives people the balls to start smack talking others. of course we all do it to an extent, it's only human. but for someone to make serious accusations about another's life is appalling to me. yes, we let tons of people into our lives thru these websites but some of us don't put our entire lives out there for others to see so what people are going off may not be the whole story. also. just because you hear a portion of a story from someone else, the whole "he said she said" business doesn't mean you have any idea what is really going on. just frustrating. i am actually proud of myself that i haven't gotten all flustered about these silly little episodes, i've remained pretty calm about it actually. but it's just like; we are adults, some of us have kids, husbands, wives, when is it time for others to grow up too. no you have no "real responsibilities" so you can live your life as you please, but when do you realize i'm twenty something years old & you need to get over the gossip. blah. that is all for tonight, i feel a little better after venting. gotta go bath, feed & snuggle my little lovely up. ciao!

prince charming

2010-06-29T12:52:00.003-04:00

so i was just pondering to myself, why do the girls nowadays myself included feel we should just be swept off our feet by our prince charming? seriously. we all read the same books growing up & of course the only part we focus on is when the prince finally comes & saves the princess & they live happily ever after. so we all want that. we want this amazingly perfect man in every way to just walk into our lives & sweep us off our feet. but why? hello. those girls went thru hell before their prince finally arrived. i mean one of them were drugged, another dealt with an awful step-mother & step-sisters after losing her father & never having her own mother, and one was locked in a castle. did we forget those portions of the story? now that i have my own little girl i wonder & dissect the strangest things. like, why do we as women expect some guy to come & save us? why can't we save ourselves? being 25 yrs old now i realize there is no perfect man. there are some pretty amazingly awesome guys that fit perfect with who we are but a perfect guy? ha. that's like a guy expecting to find the perfect woman, i don't know about you but i am no stepford wife. i am a strong tough chick & i can handle a good amount of crap you throw at me, but to do it alone would be a lot harder, so why is it that some of us expect a man to be their answer. why is it that as little girls the end of each story have such a strong impact on us, that we remember the happy ending more than what happened during the story? hhm. i wonder. is it that it only begins with the stories? that throughout our lives we are told 'there is a soul-mate for everyone. there is a perfect guy out there for you, don't settle. maybe it's not him, he's out there.' what is it that we are aiming for? are we seriously waiting for a tall, dark, handsome prince to stroll up on a beautiful white horse whisk us on the back of the horse & ride off into the sunset happy as clams? or should our elders teach us, no one is perfect & when you meet that guy that fits with you & your life you'll know it. things will get tough, you'll fight & argue, you'll struggle as a couple & a person, but if he is the one that at the end of the day you can not live without, really live without can not see your life any better without him then fight for him. where are those stories? can someone please write a more realistic story about love & life. i mean no one comes without baggage anymore, we all have it. whether it's ex's, babies, debt, crazy families, emotional issues, whatever it may be make it realistic. put real struggles in there & if it need be then sorry princess you won't end up with the man you first thought you would.
i wanted a girl so bad during my entire pregnancy and now that i have her i am terrified. we all go through heart-break, it's inevitable. but being a girl the heart-break i feel is tougher. we read these stories, watch these movies/shows that makes us feel that our prince charming can be behind any door & he will rescue us from our daily lives. so unrealistic. i just want her to know that she is loved, that one day a boy will break your heart & you will get over it, then a great man will come along & he will save you. but not from your life you have but he will take the life you love & make it that much better. oh the anxiety of what is to come with my lil lady. thank goodness she has such a great dad in her life to let her know what to expect, to know that this is what a good man looks, sounds & acts like to know that she should never settle for less. maybe that is what helps us as little girls to be more realistic about this whole dilemma. who knows. but seriously, someone please write a more realistic book for girls to read about love & life. that would be much appreciated & i would be the first one to buy it, promise.

the walk!

2010-06-13T19:49:00.004-04:00

so the walk went fantastically. we had a lot of people show up to walk with us as a team & apparently the hospital had more people show up than expected, so many more that they ran out of medals. (they give medals out at the end of the walk for the fact that you finished) well it was really tough, this year we had three kids (ages 5-10) and two babies (6 & 10 months) the babies were easy. stick them in their carriages & push them. the kids on the other hand, ha. they are a handful. they were amazing with the actual walking part, haileigh had a spill & ham'd it up for a bit but that is what kids do. but they were in & out of the wagon we brought, once they started going into the wagon they refused to actually walk we had to put our feet down once in a while & tell them that this is a walk guys you should try & walk a bit. but there are a number pictures that were taken i only have a select few on my camera phone, there will be more to come but here the few favorites that i had.

the kids. fantastic. haileigh, snugglebutt & morgs

my little family (missing snugglebutt, this was at the finish line with games, food, etc he refused to stand still)

olivia & papa mcg. she loves him.

the cycle of anxiety

2010-06-09T22:27:00.004-04:00

okay. so the anxiety is building up. i know it's all about the walk coming up on sunday, i have been so excited for this event. this is my sixth year, it's to help raise money to such a wonderful hospital, & it's to show off some of the amazing work that this hospital & staff can do (my lil olivia rose*) but it is also building so much anxiety. every year up to this year the sole reason i would walk was for the memory of my late cousin hanah rose* this year i have taken away from walking for her team "hanah's hopefuls" and started my own team, "olivia's biscuits" i know it's for the same cause at the end, the hospital, but the thought of taking away from hanah's memory is killing me inside. everyone around me agrees it isn't & they know how much i love(d) hanah rose. and just because i am now supporting the fact this hospital was able to save my olivia's life is nothing to feel bad about, but i can't shake this feeling. hanah knows i love her dearly, i have thought of her more lately than i have since she passed. this year hanah is the mile maker 3, which means they are honoring hanah's life with donating the third mile to her. there will be a poster with her picture & story on it for everyone to remember her, which will probably get me all choked up. i couldn't imagine how it;'s going to make her parents & siblings feel. i even saw her mother, my aunt, recently and spoke with her. something i didn't think would happen for years to come. hanah would probably be more upset with that than my team.
mentioning my aunt brings in the another factor. my family has always had serious drama but the kids (myself, brothers & cousins) were never involved in or even knew anything of. until hanah's parents got married & the spiral effect began. portions of the drama came out to the open to everyone slowly but right around hanah's passing it was all out there. lines were drawn, words were said that could never be taken back, all of the kids were affected, and began the whole "people we don't speak of" sad i know. my olivia rose* will never know her great-grandparents because of this; even some of her cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. it kills me. but what worries me more is since my papa's passing in march we have seen each other some of us tried to reconcile the past, others stayed the same stubborn asses they always were, and others, like myself, are stuck in an awkward spot. my aunt, hanah's mother, was my favorite aunt i had. she was so close to my age, fun, let me hang out with her, and into all the same stuff i wanted to be into. she was more like a sister for a long time than an aunt to me. for her to lose hanah in the same building were i had the scariest twelve days of my life with my baby & not having her with me thru phone, email, text, nothing seriously bothers me. of course the support team we had were amazing. i would never take that away from them. our family & friends seriously showed their true colors & mean even more to me now than they did before november twenty-fourth. but for the one person in the world who actually knew how we felt, how horribly incapable of taking care of your first child when they are born or help them in any way, lost, sleep-deprived, i honestly can't even grasp the words to give you a good perspective of how we felt but she knew! of course, the lines were already drawn & sides were taken but in a time of crisis i feel that is the time to pull together. no i didn't make the phone call to her, but i didn't make any phone calls to anyone. honestly. i gave my phone to my parents & had them take it out of the hospital. but cousins knew what happened & people talk, especially in my family & i knew she knew. she said she knew when i saw her at my papa's funeral. i just can't get past this. since the funeral she has made a number of attempts to contact me & rekindle our relationship, but i can't. i do hold grudges, and i am highly resentful. but i feel this is completely okay for the situation i am in. well! all of these people, "the people we don't speak of" will be at this walk supporting hanah's hopefuls. i am dreading it worse than i did with child birth, a root canal, anything! i know my grandparents won't acknowledge me, i accept that. but my aunt wants back in my life, she wants in olivia's life & wants her two children she has now to be in olivia's life. i should love this, right? i don't for some reason. i didn't even know my aunt had a third child, connor, NO IDEA. technically nothing was ever done to me by anyone but my grandfather, i was just a kid in the cross-fire & lost most of my family. i just don't want olivia going thru any un-needed, unnecessary drama. i never ever want her to ask me, "but where did aunti go, where's papa?" i will die inside.
maybe my stubborn-ness is getting the best of me here, maybe it isn't. but sunday is approaching fast, and i am going to have to deal with this & i am terrified. i do have an amazing team behind me, most of which know my issues with facing these people. my beloved* and snugglebutt will be there along with my parents, the only one of my mom's three sisters we have in our lives with her son & his friends, my brother & some of his friends,my dear friend julie & her daughter, my beloveds* cousin & her daughter, their cousin & my beloveds* father (i love him to death!) so i know i will be supported and have them all right by my side but the thought of seeing them, potentially having to play fake bullsh!t with them is turning my insides. sigh. i do feel a little better after this rant but the anxiety is eating me up and LoL the fact i am so anxious & can't shake it off is really getting on my nerves. i'll just take the advice of my beloveds* mother, she always has great advice, focus on the positive the miracle that is our olivia rose*, her bella and enjoy our families. it's going to be a beautiful day & after the great walk we are going to mosey on over to her house for some fantastic bbq & the rest of the family.

5 days & counting

2010-06-08T10:48:00.003-04:00

so. a lot is going on yet not so much at the same time. we had a pretty exciting past two weekends; ufc fight night with friends, cook out with friends, celtics playoff game with friends, park time with the kids, & snuggle time for me & my beloved*. we also did what i like to call "beginning of summer time" scrub down of the house. now we are battling a cold with miss olivia rose*, trying to get snugglebutt to decide what he would like on his shirt that isn't a zombie, someone killing someone, or that general idea LoL and my beloved* also needs to figure out what he would like on his shirt & then the shirts are done for the walk. we planned a big bbq for last weekend to help raise money for the NSTAR'S WALK FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL but due to the weather people not forecasting the weather correctly we cancelled the bbq on a beautiful day & had just a few friends over to relax & enjoy the kids night off. but i am 95% done with the team shirts for the walk, olivia even has her own special shirt which i am pretty excited & got emotional about. LoL first time moms & our emotions jeesh. but this week/weekend is just prep & organization for the walk. i am hoping to have some of the walkers over saturday night to have a pasta dinner night so we all eat some wicked yummy & good food for fuel for us. we have about 6 kids coming, lots of friends & family. i am so pumped for this year. we'll get our own team photo to go up in the hospital's news letter! then after the walk we will be going back to olivia & snugglebutt's papa mcg's house for some of his most fantastic bbq & family. the walk once in a while falls on the bunker hill parade day where my beloved* grew up so we lost a lot of walkers due to that, but all is well. we will be meeting up with them after, hanging for a short amount of time. we have to get up pretty early to get everyone up here (we are north of boston) ready & head down to get there in time to register & enjoy some of the fun activities they have going on. i am a little bummed the celtics players or cheerleaders are usually there but there will be a playoff game that day so they'll all be busy. i was hoping snugglebutt & his cousins could see them but maybe next year.
but that is all that is going on here. busy, busy bees over here. hope everyone else is enjoying their weeks. the weather here in boston has cooled off a bit so it is pretty enjoyable out. happy tuesday*

memorial day wknd

2010-06-01T23:12:00.003-04:00

okay. so i am determined to start blogging more frequently, i swear! a lot has happened in the last week or so. let's start with last thursday (before then not much went on; play-date for me, olivia, aunti julie & baby bella*, that's at least a once a week thing), but on thursday i was baby-sitting little miss rileigh marie* down in boston (we're a lil north of boston) so i called up my beloveds* cousin/baby sister bailee and her son owen (he's 10 months) and we all went to the park. bailee lives in the town where my beloved* grew up & where olivias* godfather lives. this poor man works two jobs, tries so hard to get a chance to come up or hook up with us when we are down but it's failed so many times that i finally was just like that's it olivia is meeting her godfather today! and she did, and she loved him! he came to the park & met us. olivia instantly fell in love with him; went right into his arms, had no issues hanging with him even if i walked away to check on rileigh*, played, talked up a storm to him. i was thrilled. and then on saturday he came up for the ufc fight night with a few other friends of my beloveds* and saw both snugglebutt & olivia* i was so happy! olivia isn't a shy baby but for her to be so friendly & even chatting with a new face is a big deal so i was just a happy pig in mud by this. and snugglebutt of course loves him to death because he is a guy who loves kids & is great with them, altho he did start a nasty rumor that daddy has a money tree LoL which i wish was true.
but here is where things get funny! saturday night we had about 7 big guys, two ladies, and 4 kids in the living room! ha. we don't have a small place but it's not equipped to have kitchen chairs, a recliner, rocking chair, sofa, kids on the floor & a game chair all over the living room so i went to step over a chair when my sandal got caught on the leg & boom! right on my butt. my cousin stated "dude it looked like you slipped on ice & your legs went over your head & you went doOoWN!" LoL fantastic. it knocked the wind out of me & of course i was a wee bit embarrassed but i got over that quickly. i of course tried to drink the pain away which only worsened the blow in the morning. haha. woke up to three kids, a hungover daddy, and a mess in the house. haha. luckily/unluckily snugglebutt didn't have soccer & his mom was around so we were able to drop him off with her & go to the er. because my butt & back were insanely sore & hurting. after two hours of trying to sit in those horribly uncomfortable seats, or trying to pace around the hallways. we got a verdict of a badly bruised tailbone & upset sciatic nerve. got some marvelous pain killers & anti-inflammatory meds which knocked me out & have helped a ton.
then this morning olivia had her six month check up; she looks amazing the doctor said, sounds great, great weight gain, she is on the taller side for her age (i'm hoping she'll be like her aunti jyll; long legs, skinny & gorgeous), she of course got some shots which she did pretty well with but knocked her out for most of the day which was great due to my butt killing me & my meds knocking me out.
well that was our weekend, pretty busy & now i must begin the preparing for next weekends festivities tomorrow. luckily my OCD & beloved* helped do the "beginning of summer cleaning" yes i do it for every season. i love to clean & when i get the motivation i just go with it. now having a child i am insanely worse with it. i sweep at least once a day, scrub cabinets, floors, the fridge! i am bad. but no one complains when the house is nice & clean :)
well that was our weekend. hope everyone had an enjoyable memorial day weekend too. here's to a fantastic summer. ours is starting off great, let's hope it stays that way.
OH! and wish me luck tomorrow night, i bought a powerball ticket, it's up to $260 million. would be a nice little check to have.

OLiViA'S BiSCUiTS*

2010-05-26T12:18:00.005-04:00

so i am so excited about the NSTAR'S WALK FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL this year just for the fact of our olivia rose* is giving us the ammunition to participate, fundraise & walk. i got the shirts about a week ago & finally have begun the tee shirt process, which will probably be a long process for me. and i have mine done & as far of snugglebutt's as i am going to do. the portion left is where he can write or color what he wants on the shirt so he will love that. so here is a glimpse of the shirts. yay* team olivia biscuit's.
the team logo

snugglebutt's tee

my tee*

our walk.

2010-05-25T10:53:00.003-04:00

Hello fellow bloggers. Again, I am slacking with blogging. Shame on me. But in my defense I have a six month old (yay*) & a five year old running around here, well Olivia Rose* is just causing a ruckus no walking yet. But she is rolling over, waving, yelling up a storm, and enjoying lots of fruits & vegies. Oh and seriously teething!
But the point of my blog today is remind everyone of our walk we are doing. NSTAR'S WALK FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL BOSTON, it is on June 13th here in Boston and we will walk 7 miles in efforts to raise money for the Children's Hospital here in Boston. And if you are a follower of mine you know last year with Olivia's birth we had an unexpected stay at Children's and they saved our little girl. So we walk now for my niece Hanah Rose* and our beautiful lil angel, Olivia Rose* (who got her middle name from her cousin who unfortunately couldn't be saved) BUT! Our lil lady was saved, nurtured by these amazing staff members & they also took amazing care of us as young, (I was) first time mom, and petrified parents.
So back to the walk, I just want to send it out there see if anyone bites. I am going to post the website for our team "OLIVIA'S BISCUITS" and any donation, if you can give, would be amazing or if you want information to join the walk if you're close enough to do so. Also, Children's Hospital of Boston just added a new website this morning called "WHY WALK?" which I found to be pretty awesome & wanted to share with everyone else, I know there are a lot of parents out there that would appreciate & enjoy it. And that is all for today, I promise I will start blogging more. Olivia is getting on a sleep schedule & I can do it late at night & I will. But here are those websites.

"WHY WALK?"
http://giving.childrenshospital.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=2079

"OLIVIA"S BISCUITS"
https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?TeamID=LJ0137

happy tuesday everyone. it's going to be 90 & sunny here in Boston & I am off to enjoy it.

time flies.

2010-04-27T12:01:00.003-04:00

time flies! phew. almost another month since my last blog. well easter pictures were a bust, altho my beloveds* family did get a few cute ones with the easter bunny! so i'll have to get those from them. olivia wanted no part of either of her easter dresses & here in boston it was fairly warm out so i wasn't fighting her to sit in them so there aren't any pictures LoL maybe we'll just put her in them & take some photos it's chilly again. but things have been busy. olivia is growing so much. now five months old, she wants her hands in everything & to chew everything. she's eating rice cereal & hated green beans but what kid doesn't. today we will try squash or sweet potatoes & see how those go. snugglebutt started soccer! he is really good. due to the weather he's only had two game/practice sessions & got two goals each time, gets right in the mess of kids trying to get the ball, he's amazing at it. he hasn't been as crabby LoL what five year olds aren't. but the weather has been nice & we've all been getting him outside & i brought him to see his aunts & cousins so he has perked right up.
i am actually going to upload some pictures to the computer & i will post later today or tomorrow morning while olivia naps again lots of pictures i have of them. aw kids. they consume you. i love it. happy tuesday.

pictures!

2010-03-30T21:53:00.003-04:00

so as i said in my last blog i have been seriously slacking on updating photos of my precious little lady. so i went through some photos my family has posted on the internet (slacking posting there as well LOL) so i have selected just a few to put up tonight, olivia is visiting with her nana & papa law tonight so i have time to myself . . what do i do? LOL so here are just a few taken rather recently & she had another huge milestone today, she got her ears pierced! it's a family thing that we get them done wicked early & due to the surgery, flu season, etc crap we had to wait until she had two sets of shots in her & she got the second set on monday. and i honestly think i cried more than olivia rose* did when she got it done. altho they say "it's usually a similar reaction to when babies get shots" that's a crock of sh!t. olivia does well with her shots, cries a bit & as soon as she's comforted she just stares at the doctor like what the hell. today!! today, she flipped out. i honestly haven't seen her flip out like that since children's & then there was way more than plenty of reason for her to flip. haha. i actually almost chickened out, yeah i tried to right before we sat in the chair. my dad took a video of it & after it was over we watched it i actually both laughed & cried at it. my baby looks even more gorgeous with her gold pink studs! awe my precious. happy rainy tuesday!

playing with her godmother* she spoils her so much

shopping with me & my parents, nana & papa law. they also spoil her so much.

she got her ears pierced today. i think i cried more than she did. also, more shopping done afterwards nana & papa law thought she endured so much that day she needed a shopping spree LoL no pictures tho too much comforting being done.

4 months.

2010-03-29T22:33:00.003-04:00

so. last wednesday my little precious lady turned four months! omg. time really does fly. i was just talking to olivia's gamma (my beloved*s mom) telling her everything that was going on & i got all choked up, man my baby is growing up already & i am having a fun yet really hard time with it. we had her four month checkup today which of course entailed two shots but it also consisted of a pound weight gain totaling 13 pounds & 6 ounces, she is in the 75% for her height & has a big head LoL we also can start planning her christening yay* (we had to do a bit of waiting due to her surgery), she will be getting her ears pierced this week & has two of the most gorgeous dresses one from her godmother & the other from her papa mcg (he is an amazing shopper!) we did a room switch with our room & the kids room. there seems to be so much more space in both room now with the switch. snugglebutt seemed to love it today he had all his trucks out, legos everywhere we just got to get him liking the clean up process a bit more. the whole sharing thing he is doing great with but for him he sees it as his room (olivia does just sleep in there) so he's like why do i need to move them. LoL yeah fire truck, little army guys in the middle of the floor are going to be the death of me. LoL but olivia's appointment went wonderful. it's funny when looking for a pediatrician we didn't want a young doctor LoL our first meeting with the new pedi we got the young doctor but she is absolutely amazing! we love her, she is amazing with olivia. i just absolutely love her doctor. but we got a clean bill of health for everything, she had her special shot, gaining weight just like she should be. things are amazing with her. she is laughing (cutest little laugh she sort of hiccups during it, adorable!), grabbing things, slobbering all over everything/everyone, having cute little screaming fits. loves mickey mouse clubhouse, pooh & tiger, spongebob!, little einsteins,& ni hao ki lan! i love ni hao ki lan & when shopping the other day with my parents we saw her toys, aah! so excited.
with easter coming up this weekend our lounging & relaxing is coming to a halt but for great reason. food, family & here in boston weather in the upper 70s aah! super excited. normally my beloved* & i haven't spent easter with his family but all rules go out the door when there is a new baby in the mess. also, i have been trying to get snugglebutt down to the city to visit his cousins as often as our crazy schedules lets us, so we are doing Sat with that side of the family & then Sunday with mine. we have gone to my aunts the past two years for easter, my younger cousins love my beloved* & snugglebutt. but snugglebutt's mom's family is a lot more religious & into the holiday so of course he would spend it with them but we will go there sunday. but this great weather coming up makes the weekend that much more exciting. it is raining again like crazy but i personally could give a crap less because there is light at the end of the wet tunnel LoL
not much else going on here other than the mom & family thing. i haven't posted pictures in a long time of my little peanut or anyone else so i am hoping after this weekend i will have tons more to chose from to post. oh! huge milestone my peanut is teething. LoL
happy monday. yay to a great weekend.

a month later

2010-03-23T13:18:00.003-04:00

so i hadn't realized it's been over a month since my last blog, woah. well since the last blog what has happened? lol a whole lot. Olivia had her visit with her cardiologist since she left children's; he was so impressed, said she seemed like a brand new healthy gorgeous baby girl, clean bill of health & received her RSV shot to help her with not getting too sick. olivia also got her first cold which was worse on me than her, she also got mommy & daddy sick which again was worse on us than on her, lol. kids man i preached it forever they harbor germs and i got to feel that first hand still looking for the culprit that got my peanut sick & i will find them LoL. olivia is now laughing, screaming up a storm, making amazing faces at us, loves to stare at her daddy, had her first meeting with the easter bunny & is being spoiled everyday by family & friends.
aidan is doing wonderful; still his hyper all over the place self, loving his toys & games, being silly & still a little hesitant to play with his sister but we give him no pressure due to the ordeal we all went through but one day i will get him to snuggle her up & have a feeling he'll just be another one i'll have to fight to get my peanut back. LoL
in bad news my family has lost our dearly papa who was the backbone to our family. it was the best thing for him, he was so sick & tired & just ready to go. one thing that stands out to me that happened in his last few weeks he wanted to see olivia & when i walked her over to him he said to me & my brother "the baby is here, the baby is okay i can go now" crushing & beautiful at the same time. that man was the love of my life, the one thing i always wanted in my entire life; not money, fancy things, but a picture dancing with him in a wedding dress. LoL for me i never thought that day would come just because i wasn't for the whole marriage thing but now it won't due to he has passed. i have been battling in my head whether that is super selfish of me to think that way but every woman in my family has had it & i get to be the first that goes without, but again i was never for marriage so i should have been ready to never get it right? sigh. i also tried to do a reading for him at his funeral & i personally tend to joke & horse-around when extremely nervous & that is how i was leading up to the funeral. even at the wake i was okay, where i thought i would be worse. but the morning of the funeral, during the funeral i lost it. when my name was announced i couldn't even stand. i was so embarrassed & upset with myself that i couldn't even attempt to do it. my aunt (his daughter) who was crushed by his passing said she was honored that i even agreed to it & knew i wouldn't be able to get through the whole reading but that my papa knew how i felt & knew i did my best & couldn't be prouder. of course there is always family drama everywhere we go & his services were just the same. although a lot of amends were made & things seem to be looking up in the family situation which he would be thrilled of, he was again the backbone of the family & no matter what drama we thought would go down at an event he would be there front row making the most noise & being the proudest. he will be dearly missed everyday of the rest of my life. but i am lucky enough to have my beloved & olivia meet him before he passed & he loved them both. i am even thinking about calling olivia 'livi' because he called her that.
my beloved is doing well. he has been stressed lately due to normal things but other than that things are just swimming. i unfortunately didn't go back to work. yes i know i need the adult interaction & the escape from being trapped in the house all day with peanut but the amount of stress, anxiety & anguish i endured working there it wasn't worth it. i due plan on finding something closer to home, part-time & enjoyable for work & have come across a few good looking prospects.
so all in all things are going pretty well. wish certain things were a little different but things happen for a reason & we will always come out stronger. happy tuesday.

what to do.

2010-02-08T11:12:00.004-05:00

okay so i know i recently blogged about anxiety issues but how about anger issues? i've always been easy to get a rise out of & lately the smallest thing has been setting me off & i got into a rage, yell & rant for a good amount of time & a serious obstacle i need to overcome is holding a grudge. now i mean "holding a grudge" i hold them for years; i can never let go of someone hurting, betraying, or disrespecting me. now i know i am having anxiety issues, that's pretty obvious from the last blog & also just i can tell. but now the anxiety levels are getting to be too much & turning into anger & rage.
with the birth of olivia rose* not being ideal & having the issues she had unexpectedly people have mentioned i should either just talk to someone or find a group of people who have similar events occur to them. and i mentioned the anxiety & emotions i have been going thru with my doctor & she gave me some numbers to call, she actually said she was going to recommend it whether i was having issues or not, due to everything that had happened. now i have no objections or reservations about talking, please i love to do it & even talking with my beloved* i hold back a bit. i mean he went thru all of this as well he doesn't want to listen to me b!tch about it all the time, i mean he never does (which is a whole other issue) but it seems to me that the american way isn't to sit & talk, at least with professionals. it seems to me that you go & see someone; tell them what goes on, how you feel, how it affects your life & relationships & then a prescription is just given like candy. it sounds horrible but i do have reservations about being medicated or needing something to help me. i was grown up that we are tough, we can hang & deal with our issues in house it's no one elses' business. and talking with a good amount of people from different situations; some medicated for anxiety, depression, helping someone else with these issues i have come to understand that it could be only a temporary thing to help get someone thru a tough time, and believe me this i think is as tough as it's gonna get. but then there's the issue of getting addicted. what if it happens; i know it takes time but i have this idea in my head that it can happen overnight, i realize that isn't so but i have heard certain drugs can happen fairly quickly.
i am not sure where i am going with this maybe just looking for somewhere to vent & not have to hear the feedback from the same places i've been getting it from. i don't feel i am depressed; well i do have some days i just don't give a fcuk, could care less what goes on & etc, other days i am myself & then there are my angry days. i guess another issue i have with taking a step into the direction of talking with someone or being medicated is people judging me. i am in NO WAY thinking or even feeling i could harm myself or my daughter. and i fear that that may be what think. i mean i would once in a while like to punch a certain few people in the face but i've always had those feelings, some people just deserve it sometimes come on now. but i feel that if you truly just let all your walls down & tell someone every single thought, feeling, or just emotion that may be what someone may think about me. i mean i am not a violent person & would def never hurt my baby girl, she is just too precious, beautiful & been thru enough already i could never purposely/accidently put her thru anything else.
huh. so that's that for today. i have been seriously considering tho finding at least a group of people that have been going thru this & talking. maybe talking to other people who have had a similar ordeal with help me out. because so many people i know whether they followed all "the rules" or just did whatever they wanted while pregnant have had beautiful, healthy little kids & my biggest issue is why olivia? she is so tiny, innocent, precious & i did everything i could to make sure i was doing right by her & still am. i guess i will end the blog today in saying happy monday* hope all have a wonderful week, i am off with my mom* to visit her doctor, that itself is a whole other topic i do not want to talk about.

anxiety.

2010-02-06T12:53:00.004-05:00

so lately i apparently have been having some anxiety issues. i was having dreams that people (no idea who) would come & take my olivia rose* away from me. at first i figured it was due to all the chaos with olivia's birth but lately it has been every night. i wake up in a compleely covered in sweat, fear, shock & i have to immediately just look at my peanut. has this ever happened to any other new mother? i am coming up to the end of my maternity ward & having to go back to work has really been taking a toll on me. i want to but i don't, it's a double-edged sword. getting out of the house & being "an adult" again but missing precious time with my little girl. what if i miss her first steps, her first word? it'll be crushing. ugh. so much going on in this crazii little head of mine. my beloved* tells me that once i start the wheels in my head it's a spiral downhill slope. i start thinking of whatever began the wheels turning then it turns into other crazii off the wall nonsense. it's so weird LoL but i am just hoping this anxiety is normal, going back to work & leaving my first born is a big deal right? this happens to other women, or dads if they do the staying at home bit with baby. i guess i am just looking for feedback; other women to tell me this happened to them, that it will subside once i get into my "new routine" of work & such. okay. that is all for the day. busy day ahead of me; food shopping, cleaning, miss olivia rose* is hanging with her nana & papa while i actually get a night out with some ladies i haven't seen in forever & then superbowl sunday* happy weekend everyone.

change.

2010-02-02T11:22:00.002-05:00

so today i am blogging in regards to old friends. once you no longer have an old friend in your life does that mean our feelings, attitudes, or just general perception of them change? whether it is on a bad note or just time, distance, seperation they were once your friend & you though so highly of them to call them that & involve them in your life why is it that so many people turn ugly once ties fall apart? we are all guilty of distancing ourselves from our friends when we meet a new significant other, we all are! we go thru a period of doing certain things, wearing certain clothes, & being a certain person until time just changes it. whether we all agree with it or not things will always change. or of course if we're college friends, high school friends, friends we meet on a business trip we have to grow up & move on. then there is the ugly issue i've learned the hard way, friends at work! learned that does not exsist, for some reason the human race can not seperate things that happen outside of work & then the professional go-getter work atmospher that goes on. yet with all of these situations & of course there's a ton more key thing that happens is change. it's inevitable! we grow up, apart, wider, taller, darker, more serious, more of a clown & we most importantly need to accept & appreciate ourselves so why is it that so often the ones we surruond ourselves with, our "friends" have issues with these changes? i feel it's a question i will never have fully answered because i have friends from years ago that have accepted every wacky change i've made as well as teh more serious life alerting changes but then i had friends that couldn't deal with tiny changes i was making to better myself & my financial standings. weird. i guess as i look across the room at the love of my life, olivia rose* i just pray that she will not have to deal with these things as much, maybe by the time she is a teenager people will just be over themselves & let people be themselves. wiseful thinking huh.

people are evil.

2010-02-01T22:57:00.004-05:00

so i have been gone for a good amount of time. we've had lots of issues lately not happy with what luck we've had, that would be bad luck. first we had issues with our kitchen sink drain, then toilet, the washing machine, our computer the truck 2x, & tonight i have my father's computer (tax season we got to borrow it) & i come across this blog that sh!ts on people! people i know. wtf. why is it that we need to do this? people suck we all know this; everyone does, whether talks too much, dresses weird, is mean, ignorant, whatever it is why do we need to go to the level of crapping on people on the internet? i feel the internet & all of these social websites or networks are a double edge sword; you come across a great blog where you learn & there is serious talks to going on or you come across a facbook status that is just absolutely horrid, cruel & mean. i personally feel if you don't have the balls to say it to someones face you shouldn't be typing your anger away where the world can see it & some not so stupid people can figure out who you are talking about. it's just wrong & humiliating. ugh! i can't stand people they are so cruel, selfish, ignorant, thinking my shit don't stink animals, especially when you are probably the worst & you crap on others? really.

in good news! olivia is now just one day shy of 9 weeks old! yay. my baby is growing so fast; she is holding things, eating her hands like crazii, uses her legs to stand for a second (leaning on someone of course), doesn't love tummy time but is great at picking her head up off the pillow, laughs all the time, tries to talk but of course can't quiet yet. awe. how i love her so. my beloved's beeday just passed, the big 28. threw him a surprise party with all of his friends, aw! he had a blast, of course was caught completely off guard & a lil pissy but we all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly & a lot more people came than expected. overall things are great & turning around i just had to get that first bit off my chest.

people preach how wonderful they are & they do good but in reality once a friend shouldn't they always be a friend? no? i think so, if you have so much hatred & anger towards someone were they ever really your friend? people man. happy monday & feb, the month of love

lazy sunday.

2010-01-10T12:18:00.004-05:00

so. today is now sunday, been about a week since i last blogged. not much going, well that's completely untrue lots going on here. baby keeps you very busy! olivia did spend the night at her nana & papas on friday so myself & my beloved* for the first time in months had a date night. it was fabulous to get out; have a little bit to eat, glass of wine, go to the movies but coming home to no peanut was seriously weird. there was silence all night; no crying, whining, diapers to change, bottles to make weird as heck! but of course i woke right up & ran to my mothers to get her back LoL missed her to death & she was gone for less than 24 hours i am in serious trouble later in the month when she spends almost two days with her nana & papa. what am i going to do with myself? LoL thank goodness i will be taking my beloved* on a weekend getaway for his 28th beeday. he is getting old! LoL he'll deny it completely, but it is a fact we are definitely getting old. he now has two kids, about to be 28 years old, living on his own for years, been married, had "life lessons" LoL he is far more wise beyond his years LoL me. i am turning 25 this year. woah! 25 years old, a little peanutilicious here, staying up all night but instead of dancing & drinking the nights away it's to change diapers, rock her & feed her. who would have ever thought? definitely not me or anyone around me, they all thought i was set in my ways living life in the fast lane. hhhm. things definitely changed.

but i guess that's it for now, again just the new-mommy norm going on here. thought i'd just take a peek as to what was going on here in the blogging world & leave a little something from myself.

ciao fellow bloggers* here's in hopes of a little warm up so we can get out of the house.

OLIVIA'S BISCUITS*

2010-01-04T17:24:00.004-05:00

so as many of my readers know; i was blessed with a lil lady of my very own this year, and she unfortunately was born with some major drama, she wouldn't be mine if there wasn't drama involved. She was born with CDH, transposition of the greater arteries & had to be rushed from her birth hospital to Children's Hospital of Boston (not very far maybe 2o minutes away) just hours after she was born. It was the hardest two weeks our all of our lives, but luckily everything turned out perfect & our peanut is now home, happy & healthy.

and if again, you have been following my blog or know me personally i am apart of the "Hanah's Hopefuls" team for the what was called Miles for Miracles but is now called NSTAR'S Walk for Children's Hospital Boston. Hanah is a late cousin of mine who had the best team of nurses & doctors that did everything the could for her but unfortunately not every battle can be won & my aunt now has two healthy gorgeous kids! I have done this walk for five years, even last year i did it while pregnant. This was a huge battle with my beloved* & family i ended up doing just the 2-mile walk which is okay.

but this year! this year we walk for my peanut. she had her own, luckily, short stay at Children's once born & with the team of nurses we had in CICU 8 South & 8 West I am not sure I could have been as strong & made it through the whole process with what sanity i have left. so now i have even more drive for the awareness, support & raising money for this amazing hospital that helps so many. we met so many people during our stay there from all over the world! the stories we heard, the people we met just absolutely amazing. i have to do my small, easy part & just donate, raise & walk! i am going to put some links below in hopes that people either support, donate or join a similar walk.

the main website for the walk.
http://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/

the team's website. we are "OLIVIA'S BISCUITS" olivia's older brother snugglebutt calls her olivia biscuits rose.
https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/pfp.asp?TeamID=LJ0137

and lastly, my own website.
https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ID=LJ0137

small photo recap of 2009

2009-12-29T12:13:00.007-05:00

we got dressed up & looked perdy. my beloved* had his marvelous beard

i went to vegas!

we watched friends get married*

we got pregnant!

we had accidents.

we went on trips.

i went thru the "beautiful" process of delivery.

we became a family.

we had miss olivia rose*s first christmas.

that is just a few of our photo collection from our 2009 year. it was absolutely fantastic; all the heartaches, backaches, headaches, laughs, smiles, extreme tough times, i wouldn't change a thing of it. it was perfect. my dearest friend julie also had her first child miss isabella* i unfortunately do not have any pictures on the computer of her but she is on our fridge and she is gorgeous as well. i bid you a fair farewell 2009 times were good, onto 2010 & more memories with loved ones.

two days to go.

2009-12-29T11:54:00.003-05:00

so it is now only two days away from the new year, 2010. can you believe it? were we not just in this same spot like yesterday? freezing, calming down from the sugar rush of christmas, & highly anticipating the "adults night" with no kids running around screaming. man! it seems like it for me. this time last year it was me & my beloved*'s second new years together spending it with his family & i was just thrilled, it was also insanely cold, icy & snowing on the roads i remember that from picking up his cousin, my friend kaiti. but this year has completely changed our worlds. instead of the three of us; me, my beloved* & snugglebutt we now are blessed with the presence of our miss olivia rose* lost some friends, gained some new ones & even realized who really will be there for you in a time of need. this year has been amazing, tough, sad, & just mind blowing. we lost loved ones, gained new ones, become a mother/father/grandparents/uncles/aunts, moved onto bigger & better things, changed looks & just enjoyed life. it's also the end of another decade. woah! another decade down the shoot. i just want to blog today about how i have realized this all for myself; the loss of loved ones, friends, gain of new ones, the fact i was actually planning on missing motherhood (crazii me), & just falling in love with someone all over again & realizing who/what really matters. i hope everyone else triumphed through their own tough times & enjoyed the happy ones. shit happens no matter what we plan or want it's how we react, cope & transform from them that really says who we are. i feel phenomenal after everything that has happened or been said. i am happy with exactly where i am & who i'm surrounded by. here's to everyone else feeling the same way & to another great year in 2010.

how do you . . .

2009-12-22T01:05:00.004-05:00

now i have a serious question, probably will actually end up being a debate. but! the topic is or question; in today's day & age our lives intertwine so insanely & closely with others sometimes people that we would not rather have anything to do with & probably never want to have anything to do with. but how do with deal with this? you try the yeah sure you're there thing but you have to actually socialize so you try the "friend thing" but that obviously doesn't work because once forced to have to be sociable with someone kind of kills the enjoyment of the person. how does this work? for myself once someone has crossed me to the point i can not deal with their existence of being around me everything they do will drive me past my breaking point? but we are all adults here, i mean i am a mom now & i honestly don't change over night but i really could careless for a lot of crap but certain things really tick me off & the fact i would usually blow up is kind of childish and up until (exactly a month today) i was alone. i mean yes i am with my beloved* but i only really had to worry for myself, now i have my precious miss olivia rose* and not that i would like to blow up on people, i would just like them to be easier to deal with & sometimes, well a lot of times, people blow situations/conversations out of proportion & again someone has to "be the bigger person" why me?! why do i need to suck it up & just look the other way, let it roll off my back. i am not that type of person, things "rolling off my back" don't happen. so again the question/topic is how do you deal with a person in your life that shouldn't or wouldn't necessarily be there on your terms but they are & you need to be civil, sociable & pretend to like them?

out & about

2009-12-19T13:26:00.004-05:00

so i finally got out . . with olivia rose* that is & not to a doctor appt. LoL only to my parents & my beloved*s parents but hey! i wasn't home i barely held her (which was bittersweet, missed our snuggle time but great to be free of the extra 8 lbs on my right arm) we went to my parents had lunch there & actually went to meet my dad's friend, the tattoo artist & watch him at work. gone for an hour i was dying from separation anxiety so i made him rush me back to her. LoL hung out a bit more but then moved onto the next house, the McG clan. so once arrived we were greeted by carrie! everyone else was gone so it was a nice way to ween into all the people, that house has always got at least 5 people in it LoL which is fabulous. then muma mcg came home with machelle, morgann & ryan. i knew morgann (she's olivia's cousin, only other girl) she was going to be thrilled, as soon as we told everyone we were pregnant she was excited & begged for a girl! amazing with olivia! she held her perfectly, moved around with her great (a little nervous at first but she was a natural) ryan was a little too nervous but instead of being shy with me he sat with me, starred at olivia, he wasn't into making faces or talking to her LoL which was a-okay because olivia seemed to enjoy just looking at his handsome face. machelle & jyll (sister's along with carrie to my beloved*) loved olivia, jay (jyll's boyfriend) was a natural. olivia just melted into his shoulder. and cousin kassi was a natural, she just loved playing with kassi. and then! then papa mcg came home & it was all over, olivia absolutely loves her papa mcg, he is so snuggley why wouldn't she, now i know this from experience new years eve i def fell asleep on papa mcg's shoulder. LoL hilarious we of course stopped on our way home to visit daddy, gone all day we missed him so. and then home. highly eventful day. and olivia was beat from it, which was great because we walked in the door she ate & went right to sleep. muma couldn't have asked for a better ending to a great day.

but tonight! tonight muma gets out without my little angel. my beloved* has been so kind to stay home with her, but good luck to him he will have both kids. snugglebutt is coming over tonight! going out with my love ryan was suppose to be for sushi & "itchi-bans" but will be mexican & margaritas now due to the snow aka "blizzard" coming. but i am stoked to get dressed up & out! and then tomorrow it's sunday, family stay in & cook/eat day. yay. for this weekend. and

3 weeks.

2009-12-15T01:06:00.002-05:00

so olivia rose* is going to be 3 weeks old today at 1.26 this afternoon. 3 weeks already! and if you were around her she is insanely alert not only for a 3 week old but for a child you just had heart surgery! she was that way her entire hospital stay as well, whenever she opened those big beautiful heart-wrenching blues she was looking around, followed sounds & was just extremely observant. this kid i am telling you is absolutely amazing & these 3 weeks were so long yet went by so fast. they aren't kidding ya when they say 'they grow up fast' she doesn't look like a 3 week old, but that just may be me seeing her everyday knowing what she started as & looks like now.

but our nurse came for a visit today, colleen. she is amazing. has two little ones of her own, isn't too much older than myself, and is just super sweet & one of us. i personally loved that 99.9% of everyone (medical staff) that we have come into contact with these past 3 weeks have been everyday normal people, makes things so much easier. and colleen is just that; she comes over checks olivia's vitals, her weight, we chat about her behavior/feeding. she's cool.

but our little peanut (yes i still call her my peanut) is now 3 weeks old, healthy, happy, & has no memory of the horrendous three weeks we have just all been through & we can really get things going now.

ah, motherhood. there really is no words for it, it's worth all the hearth-ache, agony & anxiety. oh how i love her so.

olivia's story.

2009-12-13T22:51:00.007-05:00

so talking to my beloved* he seems to think that if i blog about olivia rose*s birth & what happened it'll help me cope with it (not that i didn't/haven't dealt with it okay but it will help me) so here it goes, i mean it took me a week to blog about her being born in general.

so olivia was 8 days late, we played a phone tag game with the doctor for four days. we would call check to see if we should head into the hospital to induce labor, unfortunately (well luckily really) the hospital was always busy. we went into the doctors office for a stress test on monday 11/23 to make sure that our lil peanut was comfy & happy in the belly still because they were going to have me wait until tuesday which would make it the 8 days late. after the checkup & stress test my doctor suggests going for a walk somewhere, that walking after the "checkups" could help begin the labor process even break my water. so we head to the cheesecake factory (i was hungry surprise), eat some dinner, and walk the burlington mall. we of course stumble into the lego store (snugglebutt has an obsession with legos) while actually forgetting the stress of being late, the soreness of carrying the extra 52 pounds, my phone rings. "hi this is winchester hospital come on in dr. millar wants to begin the induction tonight" oh snap! and by snap i really mean a cuss word but i'll leave it out here. scared crap-less & unfortunately packed ready to go (my beloved* was hoping the stress test or doctor was sending us to the hospital earlier) so we went right to the hospital. i personally love the fact i drove myself right up to the ER (entrance at night) and said okay valet park this bad boy see ya in two days with a baby.

get to the hospital, get upstairs, hooked up to all the machines & drink some nasty drink that will be hopefully begin the induction on my own and we "sleep" LoL woken up at 43oam to then have the medicine put in place to actually make things begin whether my body wants it to or not and then my water is broken at about 10a or 11a (my beloved* says i have no idea) now i had a few friends warn me about labor pains and they were brutally honest & scarred the crap out of me but it did no justice! the pain was unreal! even with the epidural the pain was unreal, i was told only pushing for an hour & a half for a first timer & for being induced i was lucky but during the hour & a half i did not feel lucky at all. my nurse mary, cutest older skinny lady who seemed to be right off the boat from ireland said i was seriously entertaining. i was bribing her to let me have a c-section, telling her that we didn't need to wait for the doctor what's a doctor really but a nurse with an extra piece of paper, & then when olivia rose* finally made her appearance i said & i quote from the best nurse mary funniest thing ever said at a babys' birth "she's a fcuking person" and of course did the typical new mom reaction; cried, smiled, kissed my beloved*.

and then this is when the story gets ugly. we were told before the pushing ever began that because olivia was "over-baked" the doctors term was, she had a "bowel movement" or meconium in the womb & they didn't want her to cry, for the fact she may swallow some of it & it wouldn't be good. so the doctor had the nicu (neonatal icu) in the room to help with making sure olivia was suctioned well so that didn't happen. well baby finally!! arrives & unfortunately the doctor cut the cord which wasn't part of my plan, i didn't get the from womb to chest mommy-baby bonding that i wanted & she tried to cry. so somehow i missed the fact that when she tried to cry she didn't become pink. the nicu staff immediately took olivia away from where i was and brought her to her little baby warmer bed which was right next to mine & they suctioned her. so my mom, my beloved* & i went on with the typical excitement because we were told the nicu staff would snag her & help her out to make sure that she got all the (literally) crap out of her way. well again i missed the blue but my beloved* said parts of olivia; her hands, lips, feet stayed blue & never went pink and she continued to try to cry. and apparently the nicu staff said that she wasn't breathing correctly on her own so they had to take her do to the nicu but olivia would be back. so we go on with the whole "finishing up" process and what felt like an eternity goes by, it was hours. olivia was born at 1.26p they took her away probably less than 5 minutes after that & about 2.30p or so we finally got news that olivia had to leave us & go to Children's Hospital immediately. one of the worst sentences that were said to us in the next 12 days. the poor woman told us about a million times what was wrong with olivia but all i heard was olivia needs to leave, she has a heart problem & i flashed back to when i was younger. my best friend/neighbor had a heart problem she had a HUGE scar on her chest, issues with her health all of the time, and had surgeries all the time & this was at age 8 so i was crushed. the nicu had to stabilize olivia and contact Children's, they promised that i would be able to see her before she left the building, yes i have yet to see her more than the moment of her leaving my womb. my beloved* got to go to the nicu to see olivia where they took some pictures of her for us, but because i was in "recovery" i couldn't move. and as much as we appreciate the pictures taken in the nicu at winchester they were the starriest pictures ever; olivia was in an incubator, hooked up to tubes/wires & looked so small. finally at around 6oop the nurse from nicu came into me & "prepped me" for my daughter's first visit; told me that she was coming in an incubator, she was hooked to tubes & moving very little (helped keep her comfortable with all the things going on) & there was a team of emergency guys from Children's, my beloved* got to go with them which i was SO thankful for. and olivia arrived! we were all instantly a mess, my little tiny peanut who had just been so snug & safe in my belly was in this huge incubator to help her breath! help her live! i was a mess. i am not a crier, softy, emotional, but this killed me. she wasn't there for more than 2 minutes if that & both her & my beloved* were off. luckily i had two aunts, an uncle, my mom, (my dad went with my beloved*), my best friend & a DEAR DEAR friend from work had just left (poor girl worked the overnight & spent all afternoon awaiting this little ladys' arrival) my fabulous nurse mary then tries to calm me, get me to realize i need to focus on me & my health, that my beloved* would take care of our little peanut & if i wanted to be discharged early to get to olivia i needed to focus, so i did. i was walking minutes later (not 2 or 3 minutes later), went to the bathroom (big step for those who don't know), & moved to the post-labor room. my aunt & mom stayed with me while i awaited my beloved*s phone call for information on olivia. finally about 1ooop my beloved* calls. olivia has congenital heart disease transposition of the greater arteries. yeah a lot of words meaning crap, i know. basically the two valves that bring oxygen into the heart we breathe in & turn it from blue (bad) to red ( good) were backwards so olivia was sending blue blood to her body & not red and she needed surgery to fix it! yeah. crushing. especially when my beloved* is in boston with our peanut & i am alone in winchester, miles away from them both. altho an hour later my beloved* walks in the door & sleeps with me, olivia was in another icu the fabulous man my beloved* is knew i wouldn't be able to handle this night alone came back. what seemed like the longest wait to be discharged i finally was about 2oop the next day (this is now wednesday the 25th, the day before thanksgiving).

we get to Children's, take the elevator to the 8th floor icu, walk down the hallway around the corner & to the end of the hallway my little peanut olivia is right there on the left. in a tiny bed with tubes, wires, iv's everywhere. i am told in more detail what is going on & that they plan on having the surgery on friday morning, at only three days old our lil peanut was going to have heart surgery to fix her valves to help her breathe & live a normal/fabulous life. wednesday & thursday all my beloved * & i did was sit by olivia's bed; our families did have us leave for about 2 hours on thanksgiving (thursday) but it was the worst thanksgiving ever. we walked into my beloved*s family house & i saw his sister/cousin i used to hang out with often & i was in tears, turned around & walked out of the house. after we composed ourselves we basically were furniture in the house the entire hour we were there. then onto my parent's house; my dad was already on his way to work, they had finished eating & had a gift for us. i am into precious moments & my parents/brother had gotten olivia a precious moments angel that says the "now i lay me down to sleep . . " prayer again a mess & in tears. of course that went right into olivia's bed once we got back to the hospital & hasn't left her bed since. thursday i don't think either one of us slept; we left olivia because our great nurse shauna had told us to go get some sleep at about 2ooam and went back about 5ooam to give olivia her first bath before surgery. that was so much fun and man did she hate it. the walk from olivia's room in icu to the area we say goodbye in the surgery area is the longest, most horrible, gut-wrenching, miserable walk ever. she went into surgery at 7ooam and we were told it was a 5-6 hour surgery. we had to wait in the waiting room for the surgeon about 15-20 minutes, thank god we did not wait there during the entire surgery because i would have died.

her surgery went perfect! the picture we have in our heads & actual photos from the day she came back from her surgery are scary & i never wish a parent has to see their child in that condition we will never be able to get out of our heads ever. but her recovery for the next 8 days went perfect. she was out of icu by monday, again surgery was friday morning. that we were told was absolutely amazing; all of the tubes came out fast (which is what they want), she was down off the oxygen pretty quickly, weaned down off her medicines, and was beginning to eat up a storm.

my beloved* & i went into the whole labor/delivery b!tching about the fact we may have been stuck in the hospital, on a regular recovery of labor stay, over thanksgiving we never imagined staying in one hospital for one night then another for another 11 days. this was by far the hardest, scariest, most miserable situation either one of us have ever have had to go thru & i personally feel that if i had to do it alone or with alone else i wouldn't have come out as i had (somewhat okay). it was the longest 12 days of my life. every night worrying if your child would be okay overnight while you tried to sleep, will this surgery go well, was it something i did that made this happen to her, the amount of questions/thoughts that go thru a womans' head after your typical delivery can sometimes be off but with all of this i swear at some points i thought i was having the worst dream ever & if not i was going to lose my sh!t.

but olivia came out of it on top, my beloved* & i did as well.

it was amazing to see how strong she is, all the kids we came in contact with are & the things they can recover from at such a small size/age.

thinking about the way everything was played out during this whole situation; the winchester hospital did a phenomenal job having the right people in line, the Children's did a, phenomenal doesn't seem like a justifiable word for it but, phenomenal job during her stay & all of the staff we came in contact with everywhere was amazing. i also feel the fact that i had been so determined to do the Children's Hospital walk the past five years despite being pregnant, the "family issues" that had arisen & stopped my walking buddies not go so i walked alone, supporting & raising money for the hospital was what i was meant to do. and i will continue to do until i can no longer walk & hope for more support this year. i will not only walk for hanah's hopefuls (my original reason to walk) but i will now walk for our olivia rose*

olivia rose*

2009-12-10T11:18:00.004-05:00

olivia rose* is finally here. she arrived 11/24/2009 at 1.26pm and was 8 lbs 8 oz. i was told that being induced at 4.3oam and having her arrive only an hour & a half after they broke my water was great & i was very lucky. but man! i had some friends tell me horror stories to "prepare me" for labor but the horror stories didn't do it justice. but my beloved*s cousin did say this summer, once the baby has arrived pain has no memory & it's like nothing ever hurt, was sore or caused you any grief. we spent a little bit of a longer stay at the hospital but olivia rose* is perfect. she is healthy, happy, gorgeous & finally here with us in our arms. i apologize we were completely slacking we didn't take any pictures of olivia biscuits* & snugglebutt but he is coming over today & we will get on that asap. he did just what we thought he would (we surprised him) he came running into our bedroom & i was just finishing feeding her & snugglebutt froze! put his cheesy smile on his face & in a weird shy voice "that's my baby sister" and gave her a kiss! this kid is too cute, ah!

but here are just a few of the hundreds of pictures people (my father, papa!) have taken of her. more to come.

day no 4

2009-11-21T00:10:00.002-05:00

so it is now the end of day number 4 of being overdue for our lil lady. the aches, pains & soreness is increasing which is a good sing but i am just ready to go & get this show on the road. the ultrasound went swimmingly; she is content, happy, has enough fluids, getting just what she needs from the umbilical-cord & we wait more. LoL altho our plan of action now is that if she is still stubborn over the weekend & we get to Sunday then we are heading on in to start the show. we also found out that she is about 8 lbs. apparently being in post-dates the numbers aren't very accurate but hey if the diameter of her head was correct then i am good to go. it was just about 9cm & i dilate to 10cm which is a perfect little squeeze. thank you for that lil lady. so that is where we are now, waiting some more. hopefully by monday/tuesday i can blog from the hospital giving you all kinds of details about our llil lady, her arrival & even pictures. ah! i can not wait.
happy friday night!

19th of november.

2009-11-19T07:34:00.003-05:00

okay. so it is now the 19th of november, 3 days past our due date of the arrival of our lil lady olivia rose* aah! and i am beyond ready to go, well not really i am terrified to go thru the actual "beauty of life" but i am so ready for my lil lady to snuggle, hold, love, look at UH! i just can't wait to see her. we are officially ready! bassinet is finally set up (last piece of the puzzle), car-seat has been installed, changing table is up & ready, crib has been set up for weeks, she has her cute girlie stickers on her wall, and snugglebutt is now telling us it's time (before it was too early! LoL) everything is in it's place & waiting to be used. we have picked out her "coming home outfit" which is the cutest, pale pink outfit. it came in this gorgeous box it's the buttoned shirt, pale pink pants, cute pale pink hat, white mittens, then we also have her handmade harrington blanket, her cute pale pink snowsuit that has ears on the hood & we are just so excited. paperwork is filled out for pre-registration for the hospital stay, boppy pillow is right next to the bags (was told that it is a must have in the hospital) we are just ready lil lady so come on.

but we are off this morning to see the doctor for the third time in a week. we also are going for an ultrasound to make sure she is still content, because that fabulous stress test told us that she was just a happy lil peach in there with no want at all to come out. so maybe all the pains i had the other night & the sudden urge to clean/organize/prep for her arrival have meant something & we have made some progress. until next time bloggers! hopefully it'll be all about our precious lil lady.

happy thursday!

the day has come & gone

2009-11-16T22:59:00.004-05:00

so today i am sitting comfy in my big bed with my down comforter, body pillow, Roscoe teddy bear, and fluffy green blanket in my bedroom of my great new apartment with my beloved* blogging about how today is the due date of our lil miss olivia rose*s arrival. yup! went for a stress test & checkup. we got nothing! nothing! no chance in dilation, no contractions being monitored & she is just a happy little peach in my oversized, over-stretched belly. yay* we now have another appointment on thursday for an ultrasound to see what she's doing in there; making sure she isn't cramped, is facing the correct way (i personally don't think she is but i have been reassured numerous times she is), and then to discuss our plan of action with the doctor. my beloved* & i are hoping for asap. maybe getting her out thursday or friday, but we'll go as late as monday. apparently we have to check into the doctor's & hospital's schedules, cross your fingers really on thursday for us. she's coming, she is just taking her precious time. but as one of my beloved*s friends said i should enjoy the last few days of pampering while i have them. and man am i. my beloved* is amazing (i of course have to do some stuff or i'll just go nuts) but he brings in the groceries, went thru/moved boxes, we are getting our brand new dryer soon!, he scrubbed our tub so i could take a warm bubble bath, he even rubbed my feet during the stress test! and he hates feet, and my feet are pretty yes but they are swollen to a point where it's like 'who's feet are those hanging off the table? not mine no way.' so that's pretty much where we are, just hanging around waiting for something to begin, if not things will begin whether she likes it or not. LoL and our snugglebutt is wicked excited! unfortunately he can not come visit us in the hospital due to the h1n1 outbreak this fall but he will still be absolutely adorable to watch when he first lays his big brown handsome eyes on her & gets to snuggle her. he wants to hug & kiss her he tells us all the time. he'll kiss or rub the belly and says 'i do it this way until she comes, i can't wait until she comes' and smiles! cutest kid ever!

well fellow bloggers. i am off; maybe rocking in my chair, walking around the apartment, or yet another warm bath will set her off tonight we'll see. happy monday! almost tuesday.

who knew.

2009-11-12T14:09:00.005-05:00

today we have our weekly checkup. so i am sitting here awaiting the clock to hit the hour we need to leave the house & head on out, for some reason i want to bring all of our belongings with us LoL idk why but you never know. but i am dying of anticipation of olivia rose*s arrival. at the beginning of the pregnancy i was terrified; of it all, the epidural, the pain to the actual labor, being someone's mother! just the entire concept of it all, i wasn't very sure on whether or not i wanted it all. but here we are! and i am so excited. i am excited to finally have this buddha belly over-with LoL, meet our lil miss olivia rose*, move on from just the boring routine of where we were, and to honestly start a family with my beloved*. i wasn't sure i wanted it but seeing him with his mini me, snugglebutt i am always just put back a little & just stunned at how amazingly patience he is. how much a phenomenal man he is as well, couldn't have had this "accident" happen with anyone better or at the fact that he wants me back as much as i do. =) gasp. i am getting all emotional.

but enough of that mushy stuff, we are off to check on our little girls progress hopefully we have made a good amount & are moving onto the next step. until next one fellow bloggers. happy thursday!

happy veteran's day.

2009-11-11T14:15:00.003-05:00

first & foremost HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

i would like to thank all who are serving, have served, will serve, gave their lives, gave their loved ones, in order to make this country what it is today without those men/women who knows where we would be as a nation. Horrible things have happened to this country & we have prospered time & time again due to these brave men/women altho times are though & we feel as though things are horrible these men/women believe in something we do not see everyday due to the media, government & politics as long as those men/women believe & feel things are worth salvaging we need to support & back them up to the fullest, regardless of our own views.
so thank you to our bravest men/women of our beautiful nation.

poor news from last nights tour. tours are cancelled indefinitely due to the flu & swine flu outbreak (which i am okay with because i will be there in a week or two) found out that children under the age of 18 are not permitted to visit people in the hospital, we are only allowed 2 healthy visitors at a time, and all the pregnant women were pressured to receive the h1n1 flu shot. blah! so as soon as i walked in they tell me "hey no tour, no kids & get that damn shot" i was a little overwhelmed with emotions & literally had to hold back the tears. LoL damn pregnancy has made me so emotional LoL hate it. so we did get a lot of information about the hospital, the h1n1 flu vaccine they want me to get & it's free!, my questions answered but the whole visiting situation still has me a little upset but what am i to do.

the contractions, back pain & pretty much point of no return ready for this baby out of me has hit me. and i am SO beyond ready for this baby to come out LoL but we will continue our wait game & be patience LoL we have a new task at hand, how to tell our snugglebutt who has been so excited/nervous on how he's getting to the hospital that he can not come. ugh! this poor lil man has been so thrilled to meet his lil sister this is going to hurt.

a tour of all tours.

2009-11-10T15:28:00.005-05:00

well today we go on a tour of the maternity ward where we will be welcoming lil miss olivia rose* into our world. i am so excited! i honestly am hoping maybe, just maybe my water will break while we are there. LoL that'd be too easy right, already in the maternity ward with my 2 coaches & my water breaks. LoL wishful thinking. but still i am wicked excited to see the nursery, maybe see some lil peanuts, see my room where i will be spending two long days, maybe more. and my beloved* is highly concerned with the cafeteria food LoL my man loves to eat. altho i have a feeling if we ask anyone to bring us up some food they'd do it in a second for us.

not much else going on. had a few "real contractions" yesterday/last night hoping it continues & pickups but we'll see. we are trying everything to induce labor but it seems she may really be our baby; on time - she's me, late - she's my beloved*, altho i usually am early by 15 minutes, i was taught on time you're late & early you're on time. LoL but we'll see what this little lady thinks.

we had our snugglebutt yesterday and he says to me 'yeah know jen thanksgiving is soon & santa will come too, you said olivia will be here before thanksgiving" he is absolutely adorable, so concerned with her arrival & he also got extremely nervous about how he was getting to the hospital, with all of the people in our families i told him he has no need to worry he will be there. he also told me "my olivia biscuits rose* will beautiful like jen" gasp! kid is a killer.

but that is all for today. very exciting evening coming up, gotta go prepare. you never know what the night may entail.

week 39.

2009-11-09T11:09:00.002-05:00

so we are now at week 39. 1 more "scheduled" week to go. oh man! am i ready. my mother just got a crib from my aunt yesterday so she says she is ready too so now olivia rose* can really come LoL but i've been ready for weeks. but i am at a point where i am kind of waiting to hear about my dear friend julie's baby isabella, she is having surgery & it is being scheduled this week so i want to be mobile & able to get to my dear friend julie. her 7 week old (tomorrow!) baby is the cutest lil lady in the world & i love them both so dearly that i want to just be there & hold her hand. sigh. the things that go on man, mind-blowing.

well we had a very "interesting" to say the least weekend this weekend. saw both (immediate) families yesterday, snagged a bunch! of really yummy food from both houses & snugglebutt saw his cousins, grandparents & aunts. so continuing the waiting game we will do, happy monday!

sitting.waiting.wishing.

2009-11-07T21:54:00.003-05:00

so we are still in week 38. went to our weekly checkup & have made no progress in the moving closed to lil miss olivia rose*s arrival. but hey! they say you can be 1 centimeter dilated for weeks & then bam! all of a sudden drop & have your water break so who knows. i can say that my braxton hicks "practice contractions" are getting more intense on me & she is sitting her lil butt right on my liver/ribs, very uncomfortable so whenever she is ready let's do this. i have two friends of mine; kaiti & ryan, that i can text/call for any gruesome, detailed, icky questions about the pregnancy, they love it i swear! so i send them a text this afternoon & they wig out on me; what are are you saying, what's going on. omg! ladies relax! it's just a question LoL.

i guess i don't have much to say other than i am ready! LoL altho at the same time i am still afraid/nervous of the unknown. my beloved* & i both feel that if i need to go in after being 7 days late & be scheduled to be induced then that may make me more comfortable. LoL i have issues with lining up all my belongings, making a list & checking it 4 times to make sure that i have everything plus! i will have more of a chance to get my big booty in the whirlpool tub if things are in a slow escalation.

well i guess that is all for the night fellow bloggers. we are just sitting here playing the waiting game now. happy saturday!

week 38.

2009-11-05T13:52:00.003-05:00

so today we are heading to the doctor's office for our weekly checkup today, we are exactly 38 weeks & 3 days today. and honestly when every woman told me that the last month is the worst i know believe them! LoL i was told the entire pregnancy 'oh this will be bad, oh this was bad for me, i heard this, blah blah blah' i honestly (( thank goodness )) had a great pregnancy up to like 2-3 weeks ago! this lil lady has lodged either her butt or legs in my right ribs & oh man is it sore, painful & seriously uncomfortable! we were a centimeter dilated last week when we went for our checkup, but for those who have been pregnant or with someone who was pregnant knows that i could be a centimeter dilated the entire last month & even the extra week. so i am hoping that we are a little further along.
guesses have begun to come in as to when this lil lady will come into our world. my dad personally feels, since all the men on both sides of the family are huge Patriots/football fans & we had a by-week last week she'll come Sunday. LoL i also have the Monday the 9th, 10th 14th, 16th (our due date) & then also have the 20th. they say ( doctor's, experts, etc ) that women are usually late with their first baby & not typically early. i personally feel i have been the "text-book pregnancy" with a lot so i feel i will be late! fantastic right. as long as she comes healthy & i come thru healthy that's all that matters to us.

happy thursday bloggers & happy NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo

2009-11-02T09:35:00.004-05:00

WoW. I have been on here a year now. What a year man; lots of stuff has happened, changed & moved away. I personally would like to make the attempt to do the NaBloPoMo challenge again this year but I know that won't happen. Being pregnant I have already forgotten about it & missed day 1 and will have at least 1-3 days I will not be worried about where the computer/blogging world stands due to the fact I'm having my own lil peanut coming this month. And then we come home, we have snugglebutt, Thanksgiving this month will mark a huge change for us & all of us could not be more excited about it. I personally love how snugglebutt keeps saying "my baby this, my baby that" I called him out the other day & said okay so since Olivia is "our" baby then you are on diaper duty. He had a big ol' smirk on his face & said nooo! Didn't think it would fly; but he does wanted part of the tubby time, snuggles, kisses & he can't wait to hold her! He is so cute. But back to the topic, I would like to wish the rest of the blogging world luck on NaBloPoMo! Happy blogging! Happy Fall!

happy halloween

2009-10-31T15:43:00.002-04:00

happy halloween everyone!

hope everyone has a safe & fun-filled halloween today. we will be carving pumpkins, baking cookies/brownies, & of course trick-o-treating. yay*

week 37.

2009-10-26T10:41:00.005-04:00

delayed pictures here. a few from Aidan's birthday party (poor guy felt awful that day so there are not many) & some from the Halloween Parade we went to yesterday.

well today marks the three week countdown. we have only 21 days until our lil miss olivia rose* graces us with her presence. the three of us could not be more excited for her arrival. hopefully she is not late because i for one am ready for this giant belly to be done with & we are just about done with the what is she gonna look like, will she have my attitude or yours, hopefully she makes silly faces like i do. we wanna actually see this stuff going on! arh! but this past weekend we went to a Halloween Parade and watching Aidan be as excited as he was with when the Star Wars guys walked by made my entire week! not only did he do his loud screeching like a girl scream but he was jumping, hitting my brother (who he adores when he is around) & just thrilled. then! my dad being the guy he is grabbed Aidan's hand & ran over to get a picture that made his entire week it seemed. uh! LOL it was a great day all over yesterday; good weather, good friends, lots of excitement. now this week is exciting for Aidan as well; he has Halloween which he loves, we are going to do pumpkins this week & he has the wedding of his mom & Jeff which he has been raving about for weeks now. so this lil man will be on a serious energy rush this week so it may kick my butt, i hopefully be back soon & will def be back for more info on what's up with our lil peanut.

countdown begins.

2009-10-19T14:33:00.005-04:00

so today will mark the 9th month of my pregnancy & also begins the count down begins until Olivia Rose*s arrival, 30 days and counting. i am officially out of work beginning today due to a number of circumstances. people keep telling me that the last 4 weeks are the longest (feeling) and now that i am out of work, oh man! i am already crazii anxious for her arrival & now that my daily hussle&bussle is at a stand still what am i to do? well today we had snugglebutt so i brought him to school & actually gotta get my butt moving to go pick him up & will be hanging with the fellas all day. i am at a point in the pregnancy where things are just uncomfortable. sitting, standing, walking (sometimes) things are getting tight on us LoL. but our lil lady will be here soon & we can not wait for her arrival.

that would be it for today, expect more posts coming in the near future, again my normal hussle&bussle being demolished i will have more time on my hands to "relax" and "hang out" as my beloved* calls it. so expect more blogs about nothingness & question/answer. happy monday fellow bloggers*

2009-10-15T02:12:00.004-04:00

happy october blogging world.
i have yet to say that and it's now the 15th day of the month, shame on me. but in my defense i am pregnant, working full time, cleaning up a move & preparing a room for my lil lady. things have been hectic non the less. our shower was amazing! we had over 100 people there, way more gifts people who couldn't make it sent gifts with others that did make it & we have texts, emails & calls of attempts to set up meetings to receive more gifts! this lil lady is not only 1. spoiled already but 2. has everything off of her registry which is fabulous for me & my beloved* for we don't need to purchase anything (well for now; diapers, wipes, etc will need to be bought quiet often) but we feel so blessed & amazed at the fact at the number of people who came, sent things or have just supported us! thank you*

the snazzy new place is just that, new & snazzy. LoL we have about 3 boxes total! left to unpack which i feel is an amazing accomplishment seeing as how we are both working 40+ hours, i'm pregnant, we try & socialize when we can & have snugglebutt usually on the weekends. so our time to unpack, organize or even just sit & relax together has been seriously limited. LoL it's not fun now but once i am off of work & our lil lady is here things will be fabulous regardless of what this place looks like. our lil lady's room is 99.9% ready to go & i have to pack my "overnight bag" so things are looking just perfect.

snugglebutt is doing great! his grampi was sick for a bit but he is doing much better & that makes him much happier. he is back in school & loving it, he's in the "big kids class" the afternoon session of pre-k & loves it. he comes over with stories upon stories of his & his friend tylers' adventures, LoL some of them are really entertaining. his story telling skills are really advancing, which could be a bad thing in disguise. LoL but we have just a lil over 2 weeks until halloween which snugglebutt loves, stems from the love his mother carries for the holiday. and she is marrying her fiance on that date so snugglebutt has a very big halloween this year which he is very excited for. he will spend the early portion of the day with them, watching his mom & his jeff (which he adores) get married then he'll come hang with us & go trick or treating. he seemed a lil bummed with me when i didn't dress as humpty dumpty for his halloween beeday party so i am feeling like i should make it up to him then. and then halloween passes & we rest & wait, olivia rose* should be here by the 16th of november they say but we'll see.

hopefully the work load will be done soon, it is too much for me lately. being under staffed, over worked & pregnant is really starting to get to me so it should be over soon & then i can relax watch olivia do her bogeying & wait for her arrival. until next time fellow bloggers enjoy this crisp cold weather here in the boston area. somehow we managed to go from spring to a wet-cold summer, to a week of fall & then finally bam! winter's here. fabulous! welcome to new england right. night*

week 34.

2009-10-06T23:27:00.003-04:00

so i have not updated the blogging world on our lives in a good amount of time, things are insane & once i get myself to sit down & tell you what's going on you'll understand. unfortunately tonight is not that time but rather a questionnaire. ladies! i am getting closer & closer to baby peanut olivia rose*'s arrival & i am getting seriously nervous. these braxton hicks can not be anywhere near what the real contractions are like so i am asking everyone i know the same questions. did you have a natural birth? did you have an epidural? if you had scheduled a c-section or being induced how did that go? i just have so many questions. what did you feel when your labor began? what should i look for? ugh, the questions upon questions i have. and when you ask your doctor, friends, whomever they all tell you their stories but end with "every woman is different" yes, this i know but i figured if i ask a number of women & get a number of different responses i can get a sense of it all. thanks ladies if you feel to share.

stop with the looks.

2009-09-19T00:15:00.005-04:00

things have been busy! as of monday there will be a 5 yr old running around the house & an eight month old cooking in the belly. aidan is very excited that his baby sister, olivia rose* has been decided as her name, will have the same "birthday" as him. so with the move, getting bigger & getting tired easier, having aidan's energy growing, a man to love & spend time with, plus family friends & work it's been busy!

the move went swimmingly. i couldn't have asked for things to go much quicker or easier for us. seeing as how we didn't pack until the morning of, minus four boxes of dvd's we had to start from scratch the morning of after which being at a concert in the rain the night before & my cold being at it's worst! ha. but things went amazingly. my lil brother & his two friends were great help! brought up my dad's big work truck & with the three of them, my beloved* & uncle gee things got done fast! plus my mom & i made sure boxes were semi organized so the guys just left them in a room & we unloaded. and a week later it's a new big fantastic apartment. of course there are a few boxes in the living room & some small stuff still at the old place but for a pregnant lady & a pair of overnight fellas i think things went as perfect as possible! yay.

this past week has been rough. two huge blows of bad news, training & stress at work, a newbie quitting on us at pretty much last minute & screwing over two of my favorites at work rough isn't an accurate word choice for it but that's what we will go with. so we focus on the good per my mother. our shower for olivia rose* or as aidan wants to call her, his olivia biscuits* in a week, aidan's turning 5 monday morning & we have his big spooky halloween costume beeday party to prepare for on sunday. so we are keeping my busy, but as my beloved* says not too busy i'll take breaks to keep my mind busy. and my mom keeps on sending tidbits of funny little glimpses of info from our shower, it's a surprise so we know nothing!

but my question for this blog is . .why do people feel the need to stare at pregnant woman? i understand some stare or as the woman from chili's today shouts out 'you have the cutest pregnant belly, i just had to tell you i'm so sorry but you look absolutely adorable' but some people stare! that stare of 'oh my gosh (cause they don't use the lords name in vain) this little single girl is pregnant that is just gasp!' first of all. i'm "technically" single yes but i have the most amazing man & 5 yr old here with me to help raise her, my fabulous family/friends & my beloveds* family is always a text/call away for me but no i am not married so what. i am tired of hearing people say 'so you're gonna get married now right' why? the statistics of marriage are so low, not knocking it at all, but it's a fact people do it just to either to do it or do it too fast but feel it really is meant to be. i don't want the big d on my record personally. i feel that if i want to marry someone i don't need to rush, if he's in it for the long haul & we both want the marriage thing then why do we need to run down the alter now we'll still be there in 5 yrs or whatever, am i right? i think so. and i may look young but i am 24 yrs old, yes i am still a baby in certain people's eyes but i have also gone to college, graduated, worked a number of jobs & figured out where i like to work, and have done the out all night/every night thing & i am at a place in my life where i feel i am as ready as i'll ever be to do this. it happened, unplanned but it did & we are ready as a team to do this. so please. stop making those faces of judgement towards pregnant women even if i was a 16 yr old single lady who wasn't ready & completely unsure of the pregnancy you think those looks are going to help any? that 16 yr old could do just as good of a job as anyone else given the right mind set & those looks won't help any.
i guess that is all for the night. aidan will be up at a normal hour & he's gotta get ready for his first big 5th beeday bash he has with his mom this weekend. good night bloggers*

busy bee

2009-09-07T10:55:00.009-04:00

okay! so i am not sure why but i have been seriously slacking on my blog lately & it seems a lot of others have too, boo! but i am here today to do an update of what is going on & then i will be probably be gone until next week. we have a busy! week ahead of us. i have to co-facilitate training classes at work, also work!, set up cable at the new place, pack/organize/clean, move & my beloved* & i are going to see kings of leon!! which i am so stoked about.
but! the last week or so we have had my mom's beeday which rocked, my parents love aidan! aidan loves my family things just clicked when i walked into this lil man's life, the worries of "will this lil man welcome me & my family", "will things be weird as to will he be confused as to who's who & will we fit into each other's personalities" but everything just clicked into place. rockin! so yesterday we went to my parents; my aunt/her husband were there, my dear friend val/her husband, my brother, dad, brother's friends who are like step-children, shannon/lil miss rileigh marie* it was a grand old time. there also was a lot of stuff there for peanut! my parents' friends have been giving us hand-me-downs which seem to be brand new! for us. we got wicked cute clothes, snowsuits, a swing, bassinet, chair & my parents got us our carriage! things are getting wicked exciting! so aidan had a blast as well; he loves hanging with rii* i am not sure if it;s the being older, smarter, wiser thing but he holds her hand & guides her from the house to the park, shows her how to do stuff but they love hanging out with each other. and my brother/father are big goofs with aidan; wrestling, running around & my brothers' friends being there made it that much more fun for him cause they were just as crazii. so yesterday rocked!
moving further back into last week, we had a checkup & blood-test with the doctor for peanut. the blood-work was for the sugar test to make sure my sugar levels are right where they should be, a little nervous but not really been feeling fine things have been right on track & i don't eat crazii amounts of sugar or items with lots of sugar so i think we're good. i am right on track with my weight gain, blood pressure & cervix/uterus sizing. altho my back/feet discomfort are starting to get to me everything else is just superb!
now! this week is looking just as nutty. we are moving! yay. bigger, nicer, more fabulous place next weekend & we have yet to begin to pack, organize or clean! haha. it's been a busy time for us. we did tho purchase a few new things we needed; dvd case, trash can, strainer, shower curtain, cleaning products nothing huge but lil things we need. so we have a lot to do! yet at the same time my beloved* tells me 'don't worry babe i have moved so many times i'm a pro we'll have it done in no time' okay! babe whatever you say. saturday we will be doing cleaning & packing; aidan will be doing his room. we didn't see it fit to just move his stuff & have this huge change without him knowing or being involved. so last night we brought him there to see it along with my parents & it has been aidan approved! he loved it, he kept asking my parents 'come on let me show you around' LoL kid is too cute. he is going to set up his room; we plan on doing his room super heros; star wars, transformers, gi joe, & of course spongebob! and his sisters' room will be "angelica" a theme we got from babiesrus so he is wicked excited to help set up her room too. he said 'we need to make sure that things are safe for her' i love how he's so protective before she's even here. then sunday! is the big move; all of the furniture, boxes for us & the living room/kitchen, washing machine & dryer & getting everything in it's place. i have a feeling it won't be as bad as i'm anticipating it to be but i always see the worst. LoL
but! friday night before all of this takes place my beloved* & i are giving ourselves a night for us. this saturday was the first saturday we didn't have lil snugglebutt in a long time & instead of doing date night (which we haven't seen in a while either) we got things ready for the new place LoL so friday night we are going down to mansfield to see kings of leon!! woohoo. i am so excited. my beloved* has seen them before but didn't realize who they were at the time so we are both wicked excited for this. we are also spending the night at a hotel & just relaxing before things begin. because this weekend sets off the rest of the month. the weekend after this one we have aidan's 5th beeday party, the weekend after that is peanuts shower (but ssh! it's a surprise) LoL & then october begins. so aidan's mom has a lot (i'm assuming) last minute details to her wedding!! so we may have snugglebutt a lot, which is cool cause he can help with the last minute stuff for peanut's arrival. we also have snugglebutt for halloween this year which i am really excited about! i love trick or treating! then november hits & peanuts' arrival will come at any time. woah. this has been one busy year & it's def going to end on that same note.

but there is my update a lot going on everywhere; work, home, play, just insanity! happy monday & happy september.

7 day stretch

2009-08-24T12:24:00.002-04:00

so today will be my favorite monday in a long time! it is my last night of this busy! 7 day work week stretch! phew. exhausting. the hotel has been insanely busy which is great but working all weekend, all nights & 7 of them in a row is tiring especially being 7 months pregnant! today. yay* so i am eagerly awaiting the clock to say 11.01pm so i can run out the door, drive home & put my feet up for an entire day! LoL altho i probably won't the move now begins. the meeting with the new landlord is this week; papers are to be signed, keys to be given, numbers to be exchanged & then the fun! of packing, cleaning & moving. our offical "move day", i love having desginated move days, isn't until the 12/13 but we will be slowly moving things over to the new place. yay! i can not wait. but i will be blogging, maybe tomorrow!? in details about things that have been going on, a few exciting things. today is just a "gotta make it thru this day" day! ciao*

lazii monday.

2009-08-17T21:24:00.003-04:00

so it's monday & it's my one day off this week. ah! god help me, LoL but with the move, aidan's beeday, peanut's arrival & just the overall expenses of life the OT will be just right. =) so! today we did a bunch of errands; food shopping, cleaning, laundry, sat around a lot, we also did a lunch date!! which i have longed for for so long. just us time, to sit talk, enjoy each other because we do thoroughly enjoy each other. so was very excited to have that time today. we seem to enjoy chores together too; so sitting sorting laundry, putting groceries away is us time as well, so the entire day was us! it was just perfect & what i needed to get out of my rut i was in last week; of work, sleep, work, sleep, maybe a visit to a friend and doing the routine all over again this week ALL week.

i am not sure what the point of today's post is but i am enjoying the down time. =) because things are going to be getting rather crazii in our little household very soon. also! i want to send hugs, kisses & love to my dear friend jayme, she is having a minor surgery this week & rather nervous. everything will be a-okay jayme!! they don't want to deal with an over worked/stressed, hot, pregnant woman if they're not LoL also lots of love & prays to baby sabrina. 6 weeks old & rather sick; hugs, kisses & loves to her things are tough but will be better soon little baby sabrina*

lazii sunday.

2009-08-16T18:58:00.003-04:00

so i am working on this lazii sunday, boo! def wishing i was home relaxing, this week is about to be a very long week working 6 days beginning tuesday right after this 5 day stretch, ouch! but i have nothing really to moan/complain, or rant about tonight so i just snagged some of my favorite post secrets i saw today. happy sunday!

moving on up.

2009-08-15T12:01:00.002-04:00

WE GOT OUR APARTMENT! we couldn't be more excited. it is on the east side of the city we are in now, i hear it's the best school district in the area & it's big enough for everyone! it's a first floor, three bedroom, spacious living room, kitchen, big GRASS backyard, 2 car driveway & just gorgeous! i could not be any more happier right now. they even haggled the price down a bit for us! oh man. this woman (the owner of the house) wants me to love her for the rest of my life. because at this rate i am going to. the neighborhood is amazing, everyone has driveways, their yards are green, their are toys for kids in the driveways or yards! it is the steriotypical suburb & i love it.

we are going to take the month of sept to slowly move things over & get situated but we are planning on one weekend (first or second) in sept to really move everything over. just because snugglebutt's beeday is the third weekend & we want to focus all of our attention on him turning the big 5 rather than moving. YAY!!! today is a great day for us.

MOVING ON UP! TO THE EAST. TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY.

should i stay or should i go?

2009-08-14T11:59:00.002-04:00

so in regards to the other days post, the angry unhappy one about co-workers, YEAH! that one. LoL the meeting we had about everything going on in the building, we are currently undergoing a management change, our property was bought out. which i haven't figured out is a good/bad thing, obvious with people running the show there are issues no person is perfect we all have them & then of course being human we are not perfect which means we clash! and there's so many people all over the place that we clash with a lot of people over a lof of stuff. now i am not sure if these things are typical for every woman that has been pregnant but i am in a slumb. the job is wonderful on most days but then you clump together 3 or 4 really bad days in a short period of time it is draining on any person, now being pregnant i have become more emtional, touchy, & just really senisitve (things i never was before) so arguing with people sometimes gets me exra flustered, emotional & drained all at once. so this meeting we had i was so excited when someone else brought up a certain department where most of our issues are coming from. being at the front desk we have our hands in every department, we are the front line people see, talk & have contact with us 24 hours a day. so we need to take what is said to us back to the appropriate department that issue, comment or feedback is really for. sometimes that hits a nerve & people get mad, or people don't understand 1. why the issue came to me at the desk rather than directly to whomever it really belongs to or 2. understand why things didn't go exactly as we (the front desk staff) was told (being a live job; people walk in & out, we have drivers picking up so things can go differently than planned there), or 3. just don't like the way we look! HA! that last one is my favorite. this job supplies us with a uniform, how do i not look appropriate or professional rather we get called "hoodlums" HA! but dealing with these issues, angry guests (when i saw angry i mean people screaming!! at you on the phone, in person, really NASTY people) and then angry co-workers is kicking my ace. i understand we are here to provide a certain service & when not given that service people get upset, but where do you get the nerve to treat another human being in that manner? it's embarrassing & your significant other stands there & just makes faces?! wtf. where did you people just come from. jackace land? blah. so all of this is draining me in every aspect. my body is drained by the end of the day (more than i feel it should be), i am emotionally drained & just ready to curl up in bed & sit in the dark, and i find my back, shoulders, neck seriously bother me (for that is where the stress lies) now my back has been bothering me a lot since i've gained a few LBs, i pulled my back out twice in my life so far, my left knee has been blown out once before so that as well is bothering me & my feet/heals are just throbbing by the end of the day so i was hoping to work up until the day peanut arrives but now with all of this stress & discomfort i am highly contemplating leaving work beforehand. so i guess i am looking for advice. i know every woman is different, completely different situation. but i am looking for input; when did you go on maternity leave? did you get a "bed-rest" diagnosis from your doctor? did you end up taking a lot of time off after your peanut arrived? i am just so stressed about this one place, work! the move isn't bothering me, money issues (we all have them), everyday life, it's work. the one extreme stress i have is work. i've been reading they say "normal stress levels" well i remember what my normal stress levels are but being pregnant everything is amp'd up 10 fold & the building has been a lot crazier due to all the changes. so i am not at my normal stress levels at all!

i guess that is all for the day fellow bloggers. pleas moms help me out with just soem advice & your personal experiences if you don't mind. i am stuck & don't know which way to turn, i am actually looking forward to my next doctors appt to talk to her about all of it, even tho i have MORE blood-work going on.ciao!

please take a moment . .

2009-08-12T22:13:00.004-04:00

. . for the birth, life & death of WBCN 104.1 fm here in the boston area. for today was the first offical day that it is no longer with us. 40 long years of laughter, enjoyment, great DJs, great interviews, concerts, just overall greatness has passed away.

to WBCN & all of their fabulous staff they've had over the years. i will no longer be listening to radio anymore due to this tragedy. hello mr iPod adaptor i know i have delayed our meeting but today my radio has died on me & doesn't seem to be coming back.

[ sigh ]

business casual as usual.

2009-08-12T13:38:00.002-04:00

so it's only wednesday of this long, painful, just people are rude/cruel/evil/all of the above week for me and i am already highly frustrated with the way things run at my job. i've worked one day, yesterday!! unreal. i love my job, please don't get the idea i hate my job. i love it. they send me around the country to train to become a better manager, i work with some great people on my staff, i meet rockin people from around the world & the regulars we have come in are just awesome people. i want to say it's some of my co-workers i don't particularly agree with their professional style & the way things are executed in the building. so! i work in a hotel, a rather known name at the airport of a large city. so you can imagine business (even in this economy) is somehow booming. things will never go perfectly anywhere people are! it's just the way it works, you can't please everyone all of the time. i've come to terms with that a long time ago, being in customer service pretty much my entire working career. but for customers/guests it's absolutely fine (well not fine but expected) of them to b!tch, moan, complain about they were not provided the service they paid or expected from us. i completely agree. if i go out & by a pink lipstick get home & it's 1. orange, 2. isn't lipstick or 3. was highly over priced for the fact that it isn't even what it was advertised to be i'm going back & someone's hearing my frustration. but i honestly, no matter where i personally go; a restaurant, stores, hotels, where-ever never try to take it out on the person standing in front of me representing the name. 1. they may not, actually probably are not the person that i encountered originally, 2. don't put up the ads or choice the wordage for the advertisement & 3. they are just like me, working for the weekend/paycheck & to get thru this "american way" so when people go to the extreme levels they do as to; call us morons, idiots, or even cuss-words, scream at us in front of others & belittle us s if we were dirt. i don't get too emotional or take it too personally, they're mad & they just want it fixed. but! when i am at my job trying my best to make sure the day goes smoothly from; picking guests up at the airport, tracking flights to make sure ViPs are taken cared of, directing the housekeeping night staff, checking in/out guests, and running my own stuff THEN! helping out different departments with paperwork & little projects they may not be able to figure out or get to at that time i really do not appreciate having the people i help everyday yell, scream, or stick their pudgy little finger in my face as though i was their child/pet! a human to human interaction especially with someone who 1. helps you everyday with a ton of stuff & 2. is a god damn human being who you know is screamed at by guests all the time should not be one you would have with your kid or an animal at home! seriously. that is where i draw the line. i completely understand we're all human we will lose our cool sometimes but these particular few people do it way too often & way too extremely. i am not a "manager" and guests hate it when at night they are looking for a manager & they get me, an "assistant manager" seriously doesn't fly with the one little word in there! and i believe the other managers of other departments in the building feel the same. when i bust my ace & do my usual great work for them it's yeah okay jen did her job! ah no! i helped you out & did a great job doing that, you're welcome. but when i try to help & things don't go exactly as planned; not badly, or messed up just not exactly how that person wanted it. all hell breaks loose! the yelling begins, screaming, finger pointing, name calling, be-littling of me. it's just absolutely fabulous. and all of this is done right where they find me, usually at my front desk in the lobby of a hotel with my staff i am currently working with at the time! yup. i'm the person that doesn't listen to direction, can't follow orders, messes everything up & just overall suck! and being coached by my boss so i can step up to the next position i need to work on my stern-ness & authority but with things like this occurring & my staff witnessing all of this how are they ever going to take me seriously? guests don't, other managers don't i'm just "an ass man" yup. blah!

sorry about the sad, down & just overall dragging blog today but i am highly frustrated at this point. any woman who has been pregnant knows how frustrating it can be to work full time (especially being on my feet 8 hours at a time), be pregnant! deal with grumpy people & just overall daily crap chutes thrown at you. it's can get to a gal. and normally i'd mention something to my boss & wait to see if things change, they never do but right now i am 25 weeks pregnant, tired all the time & doing the best i can to still keep up with what i used to slam out at work. but with no HR department in the building to help regulate this crap & help out frustrated workers i am getting to my wits end with this business. 1. it shouldn't even be occurring at all, people should not be allowed to treat people in these manners, 2. shouldn't be done in front of another person's staff & 3. just shouldn't be done in the manner it is conducted in at all! blah. and what really frustrates me about all of this, why all of this takes place if another person in another department even says ONE WORD literally that doesn't seem "professional" towards their superior, for an example the word "yup" all hell breaks loose & a sit-down needs to take place ASAP & needs to be handled, HA!! god love the working environment, it can be so entertaining sometimes.

well that is all for today fellow bloggers. again sorry for the mopey, depressing blog today but i am just exhausted in all forms of the word today with everything that is occurring around me. people are so frustrating! happy hump day

two things off the anxiety list.

2009-08-05T13:25:00.005-04:00

well hello bloggers. happy wednesday the work-week has half come & gone! yay. i personally am starting to feel a lot more at ease with everything i know that will change the second the moving begins! moving is a stress-factory all on its on, but! it good moving news my beloveds* cousin Gee, whom i have adored since i was in high school apparently has connections even he didn't know about! his mom, again who i have known since middle school! has a friend with a three bedroom two floor apartment in our price range just a few minutes drive from where we are now, SUPER YAY! and of course because Gee is involved & how everyone he meets love him (he is just an amazing guy) they want to help us & said if we want it, it's ours! SUPER-DUPER YAY! yes i said super-duper, get over it it calls for a super-duper here!
the new suv i have is officially on the road & ready for it's for long ride down the cape this weekend?! has power everything, ac (which is my main love with it), extremely spacious for our snugglebutt & peanut coming, grocery or stroller space it is just perfect for where we are right now. it'll be great in the move too! so there's that off my list!

my best friend from middle school, valerie (who just got married in vegas, who is peanuts godmother) is planning the baby shower with my mom. it began as a surprise but my beloved* & i were not feeling walking into somewhere & being surprised & then doing the hours of the actual shower so we know when it is & where it is, which we are happy about. aidan is super excited to get his little baby sister new toys (he is already worried about her christmas list) & making sure she is safe with them, no small pieces he tells us! LoL this child is phenomenal with the whole concept of having a little sister, he loves it. he has two of her ultra-sound pictures on his wall, he tells us 'so he can look at her beautiful face everyday' (i personally think the pictures are eek! but hey man you love your sister to the fullest) that whole concept i was worried about for some crazii reason is way over & done with. two things checked off my anxiety list! but back to the shower! they are planning so much & of course my mom can not keep a secret from me for the life of her, she calls everyday with a new 'well you don't know this but' and i laugh because i am like mom just don't have anyone wrap their gifts we'll just pass out thank you's at the shower because i'll know what every person bought us! LoL but! they call/message me yesterday (perfect day to give me that pick up) my friend valerie, knows me so well!! she has been my dearest friend since the day i met her, she has been by my side entire weekends when bad things have happened in my family, she is the first one to support my crazii sometimes unrealistic ideas, she talked me out of dropping out of college (bad thanksgiving break lots of sadness at home i wanted to be there with my family) she is just amazing & knows me better than anyone else. so!! she messages me last night, your mom just told me you wanted diaper cake & she told you no guess what! i already ordered you one! SCORE! then she knows me oh so well, she ordered a sash & tiara for me to wear, i always say 'oh no i don't want that' but she knows! this is why she is my godmother, knock on wood if she needs to go into the full swing role of a godmother (something happens to me/my beloved* & she needs to take the baby she would raise her as i would) plus! she loves kids so i can send peanut to her house anytime i want! =) yay. so that was a great pick me up yesterday. and of course i kept myself busy as well picking up my beloveds* slack with gathering address' for his guest list, so i talked with a lot of people yesterday, all fabulous people, some i never even met & loved the fact i called & was myself & hilarious! ah am i a great chick or what, he is one lucky duck.

so i must say things are starting to fall into place & i am starting to be more at ease with where everything/on is & going. i think for now i will just sit back, kick my feet up (cause they ache all the time), enjoy the AC & just watch things happen for us because things are looking absolutely marvelous darling, simply marvelous!

always something, right.

2009-08-04T13:43:00.002-04:00

so today i must admit i am feeling a wee-bit down in the dumps. there is a lot going on that i may blame lack of sleep due to the crazy insomnia i am currently having, along with my beloved* going back to work after his accident, the whole jitters about the babies arrival & i am trying to get my car insurance situation in line with a this new suv i have. blah! the whole car insurance, getting a car on the road (well really just transfering all the information from one car to another) is the one thing that is really stressing me out! it seems that i either am a horrible driver when it comes to listening to the "rules of parking" or am being completely ambushed by the registery system & double charged for certain tickets. in 2007 i hit my 6 year mark of being a driver, i am now "experienced" in their eyes & had to renew everything, HaHa to find out i had about $500 owed to the citys of somerville, malden, everett, & whoever else but i paid it off in order to renew my stuff but today as i got to just easily move information from my old betsy (i <3>did change my address but they no longer give you a sticker to place on the back of your id anymore they mail it to you! wtf is that. just give me the sticker i'm standing right here and of course! i don't have that either. ggrr. so i need to go to somerville, malden, beverely & revere! WTF. seriously stressing me out. and i of course know it's my own fault but that doesn't mean that these mean parking, registry, and city hall people need to go out & make the tax payers lives even more difficult. yes! i fcukd up, i parked somewhere i shouldn't have & i need to pay. because i don't pay when i should i'm penalized even more with late fees, taxes going up etc. so why do you need to take that extra step to make me go to 8 different cities & then to a registry where everyone & their mother is at. BLAH! blah is all i can say right now. but i must say my beloved* & parents somehow ( i have no idea how ) have been extremely patient with me & my "hormones" because my bible 'what to expect when expecting' says it's always the hormones & have also been a great help & with my insomnia in full bloom right now i don't sleep so i can get up early & run around then work all night! yay!
but of course the other issue of the baby jitters which co-insides with the fact we are in a tiny apartment will pass in time. we are seriously looking for a new place & finding a lot of great options we just need to wait for time & our lease! and i believe once we have the bigger place & i can feel secure that there's peanuts* place, snugglebutts place & a room of our own i think my mind will be at serious ease. and again my beloved* has been phenominal with me! i am not one of those crazy pregnant women you may be thinking of, i do stress out but i usually just get really quiet, & eventually tear up (yup my big pregnancy 'thing' lack of a better word at this time is crying). but he is phenominal at making sure i realize we are doin everything we can for this baby & snugglebutt, we got a new safer car, we are saving like crazy (well not really but we are working on that LoL) we have a few items that we need for peanut purchased already, & we are happy & healthy with each other. him & i agreed a long time ago we will never be "rich people" but we will be happy & healthy people, we feel you can't have them both in one lifetime so we will take making ends meet & being completely happy & healthy with each other, because isn't love what people really want in life, they want to be loved & have someone to love. so that always makes me very happy & we have this little peanut coming who i can just ooze my love all over all the time!
so i guess i am done at this time; bitching & moaning about things that are, i guess, on their way to being in order & all set. figures, i wanted to blog about how i am tired of seeing people "fml, i hate people, life is sor hard, etc etc" and i end up doing just that. blah. whatever i feel better. but i still do get annoyed with people who "hate people, fml, & cry about things that everyone has to deal with" happy tuesday fellow bloggers.

houston. we have movement!

2009-08-02T01:24:00.002-04:00

so being 1.30 in the morning, having very little sleep from last night & spending the entire day in the sun/heat with aidan, my beloved* & family i am beat & will be cutting this short. tonight about 12.30am sunday 08/02/2009 peanuts movements were so strong that my beloved* & i both saw her leg/foot whatever! move my belly! o.m.g this is so exciting! i have been feeling movements, flickers, just have known that she's there for weeks now & my beloved* comes running every time in hopes to see/feel something but today for the first time we saw it together! o.m.g hallmark can not make a card for this. it was just absolutely amazing. of course my beloved* did come running, placed his hand on my belly, we waited (i was excited & laughing so it took me a minute to settle down) but nothing. poor beloved* it will come in time. we also have a checkup & another blood-work appt with the doctor this week, i am eager to see where my weight is now. i am enjoying the weight gain, find it strange if you will but i am loving it. i had two ice cream cones, deli sandwich, salad with chicken, a few cookies, some carrot sticks with ranch & lots & lots of water and am loving every minute of it. ah! the joys of pregnancy. it's a beautiful & wonderful time.

but as i said before this is a short blog tonight/this morning but i am off to try and sleep tonight, it's been difficult this week. but all is well! actually fantastic!

REUNiTiNG*

2009-07-29T20:57:00.001-04:00

i had to post the news, it is going to happen! i am so excited.
http://www.celebuzz.com/saved-bell-cast-reunites-s122821/

please, move on.

2009-07-22T13:05:00.002-04:00

hello blogging world! happy wednesday, today will be my Sunday & i am back to work tomorrow, boo. so sad this mini vacation has been fabulous but i must say i am getting bored with being home & am looking forward to work, LoL that'll end about . .. oh i'd say an hour into thursday's shift. but today i wanted to just discuss something that has been bothering me for a few days now, why can't people move on & leave the past behind them? i mean i understand we've all had high points in our life we'd like to relive & do again just because it was that awesome. trust me! i've got summer 2007 where i had no cares in the world, went out every night & had a blast with my friends, or spring/fall 2005 when i was at jwu & had a blast with my sisters & college friends with again no cares in the world, or even the year 1998 when i really was care-free no job, hanging out everyday par-taking in activities i no longer do but unfortunately those times have come & gone. i am now 24 years old with a full-time job, working for the weekend & to pay rent, bills, student loans, & food and am pregnant. you can't go back people so please stop trying to. we all have periods of time where we would like to re-do it again for just one more day or week or hour even! why. things have changed for a reason, whether we're not in the "perfect" spot yet that we'd like to be in or in transition from one to life to the next we need to let go. things happened, people changed, things were said & they can never be taken back or altered, they're set in time.

once again, i am not sure what my point is to this blog or if i even have one. but i needed to get things off my chest, i am surrounded by people who will not let their pasts go and if it didn't personally affect me i don't think i'd have much to say, keyword much! but since i am around these people in some sort of way & their actions affect me i am a lot more vocal about these topics. please! grow up, you are no longer 14 years old & can run around a mess as you seem to want to. would you please let your past go? certain events took place, most of which you had complete control of & happened in reaction to things you did so please you have a new, really good-looking life being put together in front of you, turn around & fully submerge yourself in that new life you have working for. and finally. stop being a complete rude, see you next tuesday-y, vindictive, horrid, ugly douchebag that looks good on no one especially on someone that was once your "good friend" & you all of a sudden decided to turn completely against because . . . the only reason i can see if my life went in a direction that you wanted yours to? i'm sorry, i personally wasn't ready for where this road has taken me but i love it, am embracing it & letting go of the past & living this life i have, so please do so as well. trying to make others miserable because it seems apparent you are does nothing better than make you look like that ugly person i described earlier.

man! does that feel better. people are just appalling & sad sometimes. wish that everyone was given the same characteristics sometimes to just move on & let things go. but i guess if that was so then we wouldn't be individuals. happy wednesday fellow bloggers, i am off to enjoy my last day off in the sun (hopefully) with my guy*

spectacular weekend!

2009-07-20T11:25:00.002-04:00

happy monday! blogging world. my weekend was eventful! yet at the same time very mellow & relaxed. great weekend! we had snugglebutt, aidan, this weekend friday night i worked so it was just the boys at home; but Sat began my 5 day mini-vacation! yay. So Saturday my beloved*, aidan, my mom, brother & i all went to castle island in south boston. awesome place! it was the right temperature as well; really cool breeze from the ocean, sunny & warm just fabulous. altho we did miss the castle by 10 minutes, aidan had a blast! my brother is a "tough guy" when you meet him one-on-one but the second you bring a kid into the house that dr. jenkil turns off & he is the funniest, goofiest guy in the world; i think it's actually all the men in my family?! hhmm. so my brother ran around with aidan while my mom, beloved* & i strolled behind watching chatting about the baby & the registry, that's all my mom talks about she's dying to go out & shop! LoL but there are a few pictures i have been traveling light since i now have an extra 12 pounds on my belly so pictures will come at some point when my brother posts them. we then did dinner at the prince's leaning tower of pizza on route 1 with my parents; my dad & aidan absolutely adore each other. walking into a family; even tho separated are completely still involved in this little man's life was a little nerve-raking because if my beloved* & i got serious, which obviously we did, where do i & my family come into play? and it has been the easiest transition ever! my beloveds* & my families get along great; similar in a lot of ways & aidan loves my family, things just are running so smoothly. of course after dinner we bogeyed home due to being aidan's bedtime nearing. that snugglebutt of course feel asleep in the car & was wide awake when we walked in the door, LoL gotta love him & his own bedtime routines.

sunday we bid adieu to aidan, he went over to his nanny/grampi's (his moms' parents) he loves it there, they have a pool & a sandbox who wouldn't love it there? LoL and i had my beloved* all to myself. we went to babiesrus & began our registration process! yay. a bit overwhelming i must admit; beginning it holding the gun in your hand walking around the store seeing everything you want all the excitement is overwhelming! it was great! until we got to breast-pumps, monitors, bottles; what is BPA free, what isn't (which by the way everything is BPA free now) was crazy. so we called it a day, wanting to research the important stuff before we made hasty decisions & went to lunch* my favorite thing to do now sit down & eat! LoL i did take a nap which i was very excited about but we did miss our movie date we were going to do. but we did see the hangover! funny movie. and that brings us to today.

today is all about me! i am heading to motherhood maternity, sally's beauty supply, target & newbury comics. we then have a date planned for ourselves later tonight; we made a pack last night that no matter how insane our lives get (which they are def going to with aidan, peanut, & my beloveds* 5-day work week beginning soon) we will make it a point to have one night a month to ourselves LoL if we end up home alone on the couch i can live with that! but that has been my exciting, relaxed, fun weekend. hope everyone else had such a great weekend as we did here. the weather has been fabulous here in boston, so enjoy! my weekend will last me another two days; my monday is thursday! aaah. mini-vacations are fabulous. ciao blogging world.

we finally agreed on something.

2009-07-17T00:23:00.006-04:00

i am always apologizing for being so distant with you blog-world, yet here i am again doing it sorry! being pregnant, working 40 hours, managing a social life, sleeping/relaxing, looking for a bigger place and beginning he 'nesting' process is time-consuming. LoL so some things have to slack and this is one of them. but! update time. last week we had a peanut appointment beginning the logging of the belly measurements, we're at 21 inches so far (this is length-wise) so far everything has been text-book fabulous with peanut & myself* we have another ultrasound at the end of the moment, 3-d pictures this time! and blood-work/checkup at the beginning of next month. her movements have been more frequent lately too! she doesn't really have a pattern per-say but it's usually certain times of day or after a heavy meal & it is so much fun! i believe she is starting to get stronger so other people will be able to feel her on the outside of my belly soon. yay* so exciting

my beloveds* hand injury is slowly coming along. he also had an appointment this week & saw another specialist, took some x-rays & got another note to prolong his return to work. i personally love it, not because he is home more (altho i do) but because this injury was huge, it was on his dominant hand & his three most used fingers this needs to be 100% before he returns & with his hesitation/nervousness to go back to his daily work activities, that only makes me more nervous as well. so another two weeks he is off, he is going insane but will be worth it in the long run & i also am off starting saturday for a mini-5 day vacation! so we will begin our registration process (yes that has yet to being), continue our look into bigger places, hit the library, take aidan* to either an outdoor or indoor fun activity (depending on the weather, they say ran is coming again!) hitting up some fun activities for ourselves & family visits. woah! this is why i am exhausted & slacking with the blogging, i get time off/to myself and i over-book myself with other activities. OH! and the annual McG clan kenny chesney/lobsterfest (we've now merged it to one) is coming up soon too! love both events last year & super excited about the double-event this year!

also. i am being thrown back to the girl who was questioning "friends" and people from a few months ago. events that have been taking place in the past week(s) have been really eerking me & my mind. i completely understand people change, life changes, things just change but why is it that because change happens some of us need to change negatively/ugly with it? being pregnant is one of the two happiest times in a persons' life yet even in this happy, weird, difficult, stressful, exciting time some people who surround us need to be negative, ugly, spiteful, & just down right rude. why? i'm sorry things changed! i'm sorry things didn't go the way you hoped they would! but i am not sorry for where i am, who i am/with & where life has brought me to be & is taking me. we all have events that happen that don't go the way we wanted them to, some of us it happens more than others but does that really mean you need to go out of your way to be rude or ignorant? really. especially towards someone you once be-friended or considered family. blah!

things have been all over the place lately. being as emotional as i am lately; usually very mellow for the record (words from my beloved*) people, events, comments are really getting to me. and after tomorrow there will be a lot more events to blog about, so i should be back in just a few days. ah. summer has finally arrived & just in time for my mini-vacation. yay me*

also! we finally have agreed on something, our theme! precious moments natures babies, i personally see it as disney babies to disney. i absolutely love it* here's a glimpse of it.

aaah! adorable. ciao fellow bloggers.

quick & fun filled.

2009-07-05T16:30:00.007-04:00

hello blogging world. quick post today; i have been in some serious mia mode lately but in my defense i did just get off of an 11 day work week, it is the Fourth of July weekend & the sun has finally made an appearance to our world, so you can understand where i have been, all over the place LoL

in pregnancy world; i feel great, minus the typical back/feet aches, & fatigue other than that i feel great, i believe i am starting to feel my lil peanut, big gee (an uncle to my beloved*) phrased it best last night "it's like a fish swimming in your belly" and at the moment that's what it felt like; faint, weird, kind of moving around in there not what i was expecting (a quick sudden foot in a rib or side) LoL also! my beloved*s cousin bailey is due today! and i saw her yesterday & did exactly what i hate others do to me; immediately ran up to her screaming "belly!" with my hands out & instantly on her belly when my fingers would in reach. LoL she didn't mind tho. owen matthew* her peanut was all over the place, he felt large & in charge. and she was describing what i should be expecting & confirmed my fishy feeling was probably my lil peanut* i have an appt tomorrow with the doctor; so there should be exciting news about that as well as our first registration experience! i could not be more excited to start baby shopping!

in Fourth of July news; it was eventful yet very calming, relaxing & full of fun people & yummy food. we made stops everywhere too!; my parents, my beloveds* parents, my friend julie* my beloveds* friends sarah & jordans, & ate food at every stop! LoL everyone makes sure i have something to eat, which i am loving! the fireworks were fun, the family/friends were fun to hang with, and the food was yummy as always what more could you ask for on a holiday to celebrate our independence day than going everywhere & being in good spirits all day; happy fourth my military friends! thank you.

lastly i guess i'll do some postsecrets. the past few sundays i have not been feeling what i have been seeing so much but this week there were just a few & here are my favorites. happy fourth & long beautiful weekend fellow bloggers.

being pregnant i worry less about everyone around me & more about me & my lil peanut* i can not wait to meet her.

ha. how i feel the same exact way; answering phones all day, saying the sentence four times to one person makes you have some hatred with phone calls.

i work with some serious characters & i can do this with all of them.

i don't have no sister.

2009-06-28T17:46:00.006-04:00

hello blogworld. so today was a very emotional rollercoaster for me today; i stayed at my parents last night so i missed my guys inparticular my beloved* sleeping alone is never fun once you get all comfy with someone but that was great! my bed at my parents rocks! it is an ultra-pillow top bed with the comfiest blankets & pillows & my oldest cuddliest teddy in the world LOL so i was wicked excited to sleep in that bed especially working all week with having my feet & back bothering me as much as they have been. so i wake up in my comfy bed, my dad is cooking yummy-smelling food, took a shower, played around with baby girl* names for baby peanut with my mom, hung out with my brother & his dog dutchie! and then leave for work & have a horrible little ordeal outfront with a completel stranger! GGR. no need for details at this time because i honestly am just appauled, shocked & was actually minorly injured so no need to relive that so soon. but the kid completely shot my day! fcuking A. being pregnant i am on the verge of having emotional breakdowns, meltdowns, & episodes so this kid (was an adult) completely kicked my great day beginnings to a shame! boo to you ugly man, serious boo to you!
but! in other news, good news! we told aidan the big news that he is going to be a big brother! he had an aboluslety hilarious & adorable reaction, i was very much pleased with it. so he comes over & i am showering, he doesn't like when he can't reach me when he walks in the door. idk why because when i'm there he usually makes his grumpy face & says 'i wanna watch noggin' LoL okay sure how are you, nice to see you. so i got out of the shower & my beloved* & i discussed our plan of attack i got dressed & went to the living room, LoL sat him down & told him we got big news buddy! he made his silly smirk that he makes like he knows what we're going to say and my beloved* says 'how would feel about being a big brother, want to have a little sister.' he looks at us 'i don't have a sister' and laughs at us. we both chuckled & shook our heads, 'aidan what if you had a little sister, how would you feel' now he's getting frustrated & says 'but i don't have one, yet!' LoL yet? wtf is that business but we go on 'buddy so jen & i are going to have a baby & she's going to be you sister' he looks at us trying to figure out if we're messing with him or not and then he crosses his arms over his chest and says 'but i don't even have a sister' of course we can't hold in the laughter because his faces, voice & persona is hilarious all the time forget trying to tell him this. so my beloved* says 'aidan do you understand what we're telling you, you're going to have a sister after your birthday & before thanksgiving' and he looks at us and says 'momma told me that daddy & momma made me & i was in her belly' and looked at us puzzled my beloved* says to him 'yeah just like daddy & momma made you, jen & daddy made your sister & she's in jen's belly' and rubbed my belly LoL now i am a 5 foot, little over 100 lb lady so being 20 weeks now i am showing! showing very-well, there's no denying it. so aidan looked up at my beloved* & me and was confused, but jumped up & ran over to me gave me a huge hug & kiss! he then layed back with his arms behind his head laying on his bed with his feet crossed 'i'm gonna be the best big brother, i gotta teach her about the slides at the park' he jumped up and started waving his finger side to side 'you can't climb up the slides like rileigh does cause you'll get hurt when someone comes down' LoL the child is absolutely hilarious & adorable all the time but this conversation killed me, i loved it.
we then took him to the ultrasound appointment we had that day, i wanted to take him if he sat well with the news figured that the visual would help him with the whole topic. so we got there & i went ahead to register and then head over to the appt, so he got all nervous when i went ahead 'jen! don't leave me (he started trying to run but my beloved* had his hand) i'll be a really good big brother don't go without me' LoL i almost died. once in room; had the machine running, goo on my belly, the lights off & ready to go aidan got all excited. he was all over making sure my comfort level was normal, 'jen does that hurt? where did the rest of her go? (baby peanut) jen! is that cold?' then! they took a picture of her face, spooky face! she looks like skeletor or a skeleton and the lady asked me if i wanted it i told her no her face was creepy & that wasn't my baby. but aidan jumped on it & taped it on his wall so & i quote 'i can look at her beautiful face everyday' LoL my Saturday just rocked! we then went to gama & papa's (my beloveds* parents) and he was all protective of where people's limbs were compared to my belly & he kept saying 'his baby' uh! the day just rocked, only bad part about it was i had to leave all the love & go to work, but work was good yesterday. today on the other hand is seriously lame!
but i had to share our story in telling our little snugglebutt about his little sister, it was just the most fun i had telling a kid anything!

drum roll please.

2009-06-22T20:27:00.003-04:00

so today was the highly anticipated doctor's appointment, and for those who know me i make it my mission to never be late to anything! my beloved* must have a gene in him that makes him prone to being late! LoL so we don't always mess very well when planning our schedule. so! we had snugglebutt aidan this weekend & dropped him off to his mom (miss kolleen!) at about 1pm. which was perfect, drop him off jump on the highway & be on our way. well with the crazii rain again today i had to drive a little slower, being a safe driver, and it took a little longer to get there so instead of being 15 minutes early like i like, we showed up on time! walk in the office & big sign on the window where the fabulous little check in lady should be "please register in suite 125 first' where the fcuk is suite 125 i'm in suite 170? great. i instantly get worked up, stressed & annoyed and panic a bit, my beloved* loves when i do this because then it is his job to somehow get me to relax! ha. good luck babes. so we register and get back to the office, wait like 5 minutes if that and get in the room where i get to see the little peanut! the woman instantly rubs us both the wrong way, "oh well you guys were extremely late we may need to rush this" excuse me! the appt was for 145 i was 5 minutes late! and if i am "extremely late" that i am going to ruin your schedule for the day when you already have your 2p appt waiting then why the hell did you see me? re-schedule! so instantly my beloved* & i were eerked the wrong way with this broad, but we got over that fast once we saw our peanut. and she didn't rush us at all! she ended up being really cool, guess she just doesn't know how to give bad news i guess? whatever. baby peanut had their feet above their head, wiggling their toes & fingers! it was just amazing & of course because baby peanut was messing around we didn't get good pictures so we get to go back Sat! yay* more time to see my snugglebutt. i am super excited about that. but everything she saw seemed perfect-o! right on track to the day for being week 19. which i am loving, everything has been right on track thus far & things have been great thru the entire pregnancy for me, for us. which has been fabulous* and i got what i wanted, my baby girl! LoL altho once talking to my beloved* i was like 'omg, she is going to be my daughter. she's gonna be a little b!tch when she gets older' and we both died! fabulous. but that is all for today, sorry for the whole missing out on posting but things have been crazii & intense so i will be posting again sometime this week if not sooner on Sat for more news on peanut!

rub my belly.

2009-06-17T15:32:00.002-04:00

so today another person at work found out the fabulous news that i am expecting & came up was all "ah that's amazing, so happy for you" and hugged me! wtf is this business? now the particular person that hugged me doesn't bother me at all, i actually enjoy him, he's a father & loves kids & i think he's a rockin guy & thoroughly enjoy him. it's the whole point that a lot of people who find out do that! wtf is this business i ask again. i mean i understand the whole idea 'a new precious little peanut is coming into the world' is precious & the fact that i am 'carrying, caring for & nuturing this peanut' is even that more precious/amazing! but for people who you rarely speak with on a daily basis or even people you can stand or not stand doing this blows my mind. one woman who i have no issues with, we both would rather just be around other people we work with rather than each other hugged me! woah lady, my bubble! LoL yes i have, had a bubble starting to realize from this pregnancy people completely ignore the bubble rule & don't care even if it is voiced you'd rather not have them that close. but a hug? a hug! seriously, where did that come from. i have no real point behind this just kind of blown away at how different people are the instance they hear "BABY!" those four letter words i guess, mom always told us we shouldn't use them, they are bad words. LoL
and another thing! what's with the belly rubbing? i mean i understand it's some silly thing some people like to do & i am completely weird with who i let & don't let do it. ( again starting to get over the whole 'bubble' ) but one woman literally stood behind me & was being dirty! DIRTY! hello. 1. highly inappropriate especially in front of our families, 2. you're old, act you're age, 3. i am pregnant & uncomfortable in my own skin/clothes you think i want your sweaty body ontop of my being nasty & touching me! seriously. think woman, you were once pregnant would you have appreciated that. really! blarg. i must say though at first i was completely weirded out with people coming up & rubbing my belly but now i am warming up to it, it feels good! LoL but i still don't appreciate old people i don't know touching my belly. i don't know you old lady! i don't care how much of a miracle it is, back off! i respect my elders but you are icky & you will get it. LoL happy wednesday fellow bloggers

summer movie mana.

2009-06-11T17:53:00.006-04:00

this summer is full of fun movies coming out & i can not wait! i am so excited. being pregnant & hating on the heat is perfect for me! i don't have much else to talk about today other than movies coming up that i want to see, so bad! things are going well; nothing exciting besides the whole pregnancy is going smoothly, work is going well, my beloved* is fabulous as well.

the terminator was a wonderful way to kick the summer off.

public enemies

with johnny depp & christian bale, ah!

wild things!

my ul-time favorite book growing up.

oOOOo.
transformers 2.
revenge of the fallen. aaaah! hello mr lebouf & miss fox

GI JOE : rise of the cobra
yes, i love GI JOE's thank you to my baby bro.

well happy hump day (yes i know it is in fact thursday but it is my wednesday so we are going by my schedule) ciao*

a reunion!

2009-06-09T19:31:00.005-04:00

did anyone else watch jimmy fallon last night? well i did.! and i loved it.! hello zack morris, man did i miss you! i almost died when he came on stage (now i watch his newest show raising the bar & it was just on last night so i saw him) and omg! welcome back to the 90s baby because those seriously washed jeans, big hightop sneakers, and ginormous cell phones are back baby! yes, this is going to be hilarious but i immedatiately sat up & yelled at my beloved* 'babe is this live, is this real, omg he is zack!' yes. yes. i do often say things as soon as they reach my mouth & don't think about them. haha. welcome to the life my beloved* lives in, i saw things all the time & then look at him & we both just laugh. but anywho! a saved by the bell reunion! even if it is just the cast members sitting on the jimmy fallon show chit-chatting away i don't care to have them all together on one stage again i would just die! i loved saved by the bell (sbtb) when i was younger, the theme music every morning was on before school & i loved it, i ran around the house singing it instead of getting ready for school, my mom always loved that. but i honestly have a feeling as they slowly get in contact with each cast member mr. dustin diamond aka "screech" will have an issue of 'just being on a show' without money, or anything coming to him. i am not sure if anyone watched him on the 'celebrity fit club' a few years back or heard about his horrid, ugly behavior while on the show but he was a monster! not the screech we all welcomed into our house. but if one doesn't want on (::cough::screech) i think the show must go on! LoL that is all for my rant today i just had to get out some of my excitement over this topic. happy tuesday*

scooby.

2009-06-07T22:20:00.003-04:00

everyone loves scooby doo, his little nephew scrappy, snoppy & all the other dog cartoons they see on tv but when it comes to real life people are afraid of dogs. my brother has a pit-bull that my beloved* & i call scooby because he looks just like scooby doo & he loves aidan, aidan loves dutch (his real name) and aidan knows 'don't pull the dogs tail, don't pull anything out of the dogs mouth & be nice' so does rileigh marie* she has a kitten at home and being only 16 months she is slowly learning to 'play nice' and if she doesn't the kitty scratches her. being an avid animal lover, having one my entire life since birth & having kids around all the animals we have (us, parents, friends) you must understand my frustrations when i was reading whdh.com and saw an article about an 11-year old boy being bitten by a pit-bull and the owner facing charges. why? there are no details so we don't know if the dog was rabid & just went insane or if the 11-year old knowingly teased or was mean to the dog & sorry to say got what was coming to him. my brother has done a phenomenal job with dutch; he is well-trained, listens, is very calm, and is just a great dog. having aidan or rileigh walk right up to him & play with him, rileigh is right at dutch's eye level when he is sitting & no one is nervous not watching every second they are together. so hearing this 1. the owner is a bone-head and the dog isn't trained & was a 'bad dog' there i agree he must take responsibility for the dog 2. the dog was sick & went rabid on the young child & again unfortunately the owner must take responsibility or 3. the 11-year old boy was teasing, torturing, being mean & should have known better not to be that way to anyone let alone a dog you don't know & there should be nothing done to the owner except maybe fined for not correctly locking the dog up whether in the yard, house or car. But again there were no details of what happened here so i may not be even close to scratching the surface. but being an avid animal lover & owner i am just appalled that the owner of a dog is automatically 'possibly face charges, will be facing charges' investigate! find out what happened & if it was in fact the animals fault or if unfortunately the kid got what was coming to them. blah! i have nothing for today; been a good weekend went to the park, wedding reception, 21st beeday party & we still have one day to go which hopefully will consist of one stop at the grocery store & then the couch. happy weekend*

quick question.

2009-06-04T21:32:00.004-04:00

now i try to do the whole "fashion" thing but lately i am all about comfort; jeans, tee shirt, shorts, whatever is the comfiest. and i don't knock what others wear, i question it but i don't knock it. but seriously.

what is the point of these scarves with shorts, capris, tank tops?!! if it is warm enough for the above mentioned why the hell are you wearing that scarf on your neck? hhmm.

ah! thanks for that.

"friends"

2009-06-04T20:29:00.004-04:00

so at the moment i have a lot going on in my life; trying to work in free-time for the entire families (my beloveds* & mine), fun stuff with aidan, down time for me & baby peanut, snuggle time with my beloved*, & of course lots & lots of work. and i am beginning to notice that certain people that you call "friends" get rather upset when you are no longer available everynight to go out drinking, partying, & just being silly or just don't want to. now living on my own i completely understand why so many others had told me no (while still living at home) they couldn't go out money "was tight" because now i am living on my own, paying bills & realizing that i would rather just hang at home on my butt with my feet up & my main guy snuggling next to me than going out drinking, smoking (cigarettes!), partying all night long. i have just moved from that portion of my life, that's all. yet some people do not like it or want it "allowed" LoL allowed, i haven't been told what to do or things weren't "allowed" since i was 13 years old and i am now 24 & pregnant with my own only person telling me what to do is that little peanut now. i honestly am just beside myself with the fact that these people can not handle that things change, there was a small, tight-knit group that went out all the time & there are two other males that have gone & done the same (they aren't pregnant) but have moved in with a significant other, one rather far away so that we rarely ever see him, another is dating random ladies & traveling all the time but it is perfectly acceptable for them yet not myself, why is it?! mind blowing to me. isn't the point of "life" to grow up, have fun, find someone to love you, be together (marriage or not), have babies & continue life?! well apparently not! people need to be single, party all night, blow their money out the window & live in the "fast lane" so life will shortened. blarg! sorry today i jsut had a moment where someone i once called a "friend" was utterly rude to me, and have been a number of times & occassions and i am at the point where i am like seriously how the fcuk were we ever friends & why? i personally lose touch with someone or have a "falling out" with someone & i just leave it at that even when i was younger teenager or what-not i never bad-mouthed anyone until of course i was bad mouthed then i just state the obvious. i don't see the point in the bad mouthing someone you once confided in or called a friend?! i just would rather not have that person mentioned to me at all, they don't exsist in my eyes anymore. blarg! i guess i am done with that long rank & rave of this topic, i guess people will always be the way they are & be horrible, disgusting people and there's nothing we can do about it. just brush it off our shoulders & "be the bigger person" but i must tell you blog -world i am getting rather tired of it.

updates.updates.updates!

2009-06-02T19:41:00.008-04:00

So i had a doctor appoinment yesterday & oh man did i have lots of questions for them ha! i have a blackberry (bless those little devices) and as i thought of questions i put them in my little note-keeper & would ask the doctor or have my beloved* google answers for me. see now if you haven't gotten the concept of me yet i am a highly "why?" kind of girl, i need to know why about everything! when i went to college i went to my first choice 6 times, yes 6 times for a visit to get to the know school, atmosphere, before deciding this was it. so i need to know everything that is going on, will go on & just need to know everything about the topic "pregnancy, labor & delivery" so we have already been on a tour of the maternity ward (yes i am only 4 months! i will probably go at least two more times; grandparents need to see it, godparents, and i want to go again as a bigger pregnant woman!) LoL i am intense i know this, my beloved* knows this. so this appointment was getting the 12 tubes of blood-work results back, good news! all is well, both myself & baby peanut are just as healthy as can be, i am gaining weight right on schedule (8 pounds thus far, average is 10), i am B positive which i guess is good apparently pregnant women should be positive bloodtypes!? i will be googling that soon. and my doctor says that i am doing very well; very positive, happy about the pregnancy, upbeat & perky. so i am very excited! i was highly nervous & had a lot of anxiety going into the appointment yesterday so when all went well i was so releaved & could finally go back to my old self (which is probably what the doctor saw because she gave me the great news) but to the question & answer portion!
i asked cat (the nurse, she rocks! at the office) what are contractions? (again i need to know what the hell is going on with my body before it happens, i like to be prepared) she told me that they sort of feel like my muscles tightening up, or really bad period cramps (okay i can deal with that) but as they get closer together, i can count them & they are in a certain pattern they won't be as just "discomfortable" but rather on the painful side, that's how i know i am beginning labor.
my beloved*'s hand is doing very well, he is able to do more things slowly with it he finished his meds & i am glad for that it was killing his stomach and it took him a few extra days! aidan is well, cute as a button as ever, parents are doing well, everyone is just doing very well! we are all just "patiently" awaiting the news of what baby peanut will be! both my beloved* & i were confused and thought that yesterdays appointment would tell us, but unfortunately we weren't rabbits early enough & have to wait another 3 weeks, which eeh! is fine but i am starting to get a little anxious to know, at this point i don't care boy or girl i just want to know! but i guess that is all for the day, i have a big weekend coming up family friend turns 21 on friday & my friend val that we went to vegas to watch get married is having her reception on saturday so my beloved* and i along with the entire family are goign to that. very excited for it and not at the same time, being as healthy as i am as a pregnant woman my bridesmaid dress will no longer fit! so i am just wearing a regular dress as an "anybody' the one time i have a bridesmaid dress i love i can't wear! figures. LoL but that is all for tonight. ciao fellow bloggers

serious withdrawals.

2009-05-28T14:15:00.009-04:00

please allow me to apologize dear classybroad_spaz.blogspot I have been neglecting you like crazy lately, not for a lack of things to talk about but for the lack of getting my lazy butt on the computer & chit-chatting with you. so updates! first we are now into our fourth month, second trimester with baby peanut (no new pictures yet) but we do have an appointment on Monday to see the doctor & find out exactly who this baby will begin to be (the sex) and get all of the results back from the bloodwork & other tests. so that is an exciting, scarey appointment. my dear beloved* had an accident at work about 10 days ago & crushsed three of his fingers in a machine & of course the night i decide "hey don't drive all the way home just stay at your parents tonight & rest" i get the call & he is on his way to the ER up at home, which is 30-40 minutes away! fabulous. so after a long night in the ER & lots of pain & blood my beloved* is sent home with serious bandages, stitches & meds. since then we have been enjoying his extra time off, we had a long weekend together over the holiday we did have lil snugglebutt aidan for a good portion of it; we hung out at my parents for a big bbq (which isn't normal for us we usually go to someone else's house chew & screw); went to my beloveds* family one night for a bbq & we took aidan to the zoo for the first time! which i personally absolutely love the zoo & i think aidan did as well, it was a gorgeous day too, not too hot or cold there was a nice breeze ah! it was just fabulous. and now i am back to work! working all weekend so my fellas will probably hang home & just hang, i hear it's suppose to be kind of icky out anyways so that works well & monday is the big appointment with the doctor. oh!! we did go on a tour as well of the maternity ward at the hospital where i will have this little peanut. i absolutely love the place! everything is private, secure, and just calming! there is a big tub i can get in & hang loose if i am stressed & need to relax during labor ( and when i say if i am stressed i really mean when i am stressed) my beloved* or "my coach" can come with me & play the soothing music we are working on for the labor & baby and rub my belly, i love when he rubs my belly! but i believe that is all to catch everyone up on this crazy life we are leading. but the purpose of the blog today, i do apologize wasn't just to chit-chat & catch up but for a purpose! for the past four years i have done a walk that a lot of people in boston somehow get involved with, it is called the "nstar's walk for the children's hospital of boston" it's either a 2 or 7 mile walk along the charles river (gorgeous setting) and we raise money & walk for the children's hospital. unfortunately, many of the walkers have been personally touched by the children's hospital & their fabulous staff & that is what gets a certain "click" to walk. i unfortunately had a sick cousin four years ago that spent a lot of time there & the staff that surronded my family was just absolutely amazing & even after the stay in the hospital they were & still are involved in our lives. so i walk every year now for my cousin & the other children, family members, friends that are in need to the services there. so i am hoping to get others to join me & walk (for those of you that know me know that the heat wave we have where it was hazy, hot & humid kicked my butt so i need lots of eyes on me & want more people to walk & raise money) so below is the website to donate right to me (thank you!) also on that same page on the right is a "REGISTER NOW" link to join me!
https://howtohelp.childrenshospital.org/walk/pfp/?ProfileID=LJ0137

sunday.

2009-05-17T15:47:00.004-04:00

so here in boston sunday means a rainy gloomy morning which if it does for others as it does for me it does not help me motivate myself in any way, i would just rather hang in my PJs all day watching DVR'd shows or movies but i now am waiting for my beloved* to get his ace out of the shower & ready to go, he always takes longer! it also means everything that needs to be done needs to be done before 7.30p that way we can all hurry home get comfortable and watch game 7 for the celtics! we need this to stay alive! so as i sit here waiting to being/end the day i came across just a few post secrets i enjoyed today, i am not sure if my sense of humor is changing since pregnancy but i am finding it harder & harder to pick post secrets i enjoy. well anyway here are the few i enjoyed.

apparently my beloved* feared for this his first time around but i am terrified i will have an ugly baby, i understand all babies are icky looking when they first are welcomed to the world but seriously what if my baby is "big-boned" or ugly? = (

i honestly did this in college, haha! good times.

while i do not have a husband overseas i have dear friends, actually someone i consider the best male guy friend i've ever had & i miss him dearly & worry for him everyday.

but that is all for today i guess fellow bloggers. the shower has just stopped running so i can now finish getting myself ready & begin my day! happy sunday.

pictures, pictures, pictures

2009-05-13T01:04:00.007-04:00

okay, so i am up way past my liking tonight. these 4p-12a shifts are kicking my butt. but being at my parents house for the night i couldn't just head to bed & pay no mind to the little green camera with tons of pictures on them i have been dying for since last year! so my fabulous father loaded them up on the laptop & i selected a few of the tons i have. there are the weezer concert pictures missing, i know ryan tomorrow i promise! but other than that i have all my pictures completely updated. LoL from last year until today. so here are some pictures of fun stuff we did/have been up to good night fellow bloggers.

these few are from the tree lighting/christmas lights 2008.

my favorite guys. my beloved* & aidan

my dad loves aidan & now we have our own on the way the fun will only grow.
after the tree lighting we went to the stone zoo, i love the lights they have there around xmas.

monsters!

and julie & walters 2nd reception. 2009.
my baby brother & i.

my beloved* & i

me with the newlyweds & expecting parents!

i think they are an amazing looking couple* gorgeous babies.

julie's mom in the white, my mom in the blue HaHa

goodnight moon*

baby peanut*

2009-05-12T10:23:00.005-04:00

so i haven't really said much in a bit about baby peanut* so two weeks ago i had all that first trimester blood-work done as well as the CVS testing (half blood-work, half ultrasound) no results! My doctor told me that if there was anything we needed to go over sooner rather than later she would call me & we would meet, if not then things are looking just as good as they have been & see will see me June 1st for another appt & another ultrasound! yay* this is the highly anticipated ultrasound where my wishes & dreams are confirmed that i will be having my blonde hair, blue eyed baby girl LoL yes, i have this baby girls' life completely planned out already & being that she is not living where i did younger; somerville, dorchester, even everett is going down hill i have high hopes she will be able to focus on the important things in her younger years. but! my beloved* & i have names picked out, we only have one for a lil baby boy, girls we have our middle name a definite but first names we have a list LoL i have in my blackberry a special note that says "keepers" so where-ever we are i jot it down & there we go the list is that much longer LoL we did decide on his favorite persons' name for the boys' middle name & my favorite lil lost gorgeous lady for a girls' middle name and the boys' first name i won't say just not to jinx it ( i really want my girl ) and i don't want anyone stealing it if we don't have our boy just yet. LoL but we have decided to tell the snugglebutt aidan after we find out what it is & after i have a calendar my mom suggested to help him count down the babies arrival so he is not asking "will the baby be here in 2 miminutes" LoL love him to death but that can drive anyone insane especially over 6 months! but baby peanut* is now 13 weeks & 1 day along, pretty much everyone we want to know around us knows, minus a few of my beloveds* people he wants to tell certain people face to face so he is making his way down to them & telling them very soon! so things are going very well with us. hopefully things continue this way & the things we are trying to get in order get in order for us & cause us lil stress, anxiety & just fall into place for us. my brother took a picture of one of the sonogram pictures i gave my mom & i wanted to post it so people can see, if anyone if paying attention LoL but this is my baby peanut* in all her glory. i love her to death already.

happy tuesday fellow bloggers*

big, relaxing weekend

2009-05-08T19:08:00.011-04:00

so it was a long week, even though I did only work three days LoL. Guess 12 tubes of blood, sonograms, the news being completely public, tummy rubs & work can do that to a girl. but this weekend is all about me & what I would like (so my beloved* says) for it is my beeday & mother's day & apparently expecting mothers can celebrate & get presents too! yay. I honestly am looking forward to this weekend so much, relaxation baby! that is all I would like. My weekend actually began today; mani/pedi with Kaiti & Ryan (thank you for my expecting mom card & rose Kaiti) lunch & hanging with my beloved* tonight. We were suppose to be at the Red Sox game but long story short StubHub "doesn't guarantee" tickets, so we will be hanging out & going to see wolverine, nice toss up relaxing night! Then tomorrow is my actual beeday! yay. I have already received two presents; my beloved* got me tickets to see my most favorite band since forever The Offspring & Kolleen, Aidan, & Jeff gave me the cutest cupcake card (thank you guys)! I heart cupcakes & she knows it = ) tomorrow will be filled with sleeping in, cake, Margaritas (the restaurant not the drink LoL) and not sure after that but my beloved* says I get to pick what we do! I am stoked about Margaritas because up until now my first trimester has been kind of tough, nothing to complain about but I wasn't able to eat my usual favorite foods & I am now able to eat them & I get my Margaritas! Yay. Also, my dearest Val will be coming up too for cake, or to my moms location has yet to be decided. And then Sunday is Mother's Day, I believe we will venture down to Boston tomorrow & pass out mother's day presents then so me, expecting mom & our moms can just hang at home with our feet up & relax. Sounds good to me, a phone with loves should be good enough, we did see them the day before LoL we will see. But I am off for now, time to re-start the rest of my relaxation weekend. ciao* fellow bloggers.

happy mother's day !!

happy beeday to the many i share this weekend with.

LoL celebrations from beeday's past . . this year will def be me on the couch with my feet up. oh yeah! i can live with that one.

happy weekend everyone. boston weather should be mostly fabulous enjoy it, get out !

Manic Monday

2009-05-04T18:40:00.004-04:00

So this morning I had yet another doctor's appointment; honestly all of these doctors appointments for me at least are crazy, I am rarely sick, rarely go to the doctors, and just hate the whole waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the actual exam room, and then waiting for lab people. blah! Lots of waiting & I am not very patient. But! in good news it is for good reasons, I am pregnant! 12 weeks today. Very exciting, my beloved* & I are stoked, we have yet to tell the snugglebutt Aidan for the whole waiting the 3 month period and know how do we word it, how will he react & when will the "is the baby coming in 2 miminutes" LoL will drive us insane. Altho my mom did mention making him his own calendar to countdown the babies' arrival, which I feel will work but I am not sure how long. LoL so there is the big news! We find out June 1st if we will be a mommy of a baby girl or boy of course I want a girl and he wants a boy! Altho I feel he already has a boy so we could do a girl now & a boy later? He isn't feeling that, LoL he needs another boy asap with me! LoL we'll see what happens. We have seen & heard the heartbeat already, heartbeat was at 170 which my great nursing staff at the doctor office said was perfect & everything seems to be right on track, we our first baby peanut picture, my "What to Expect when Expecting" book & journal so we are doing fabulously. But after 12 tubes of blood, finger prick, and a short nap I am exhausted & don't have much else to write about. Here are just a few of the Post Secrets I liked, I personally felt this week was tough. But this is what I got for ya.

i can not wait until i can say this, i drive about 45 minutes to work everyday. boo!

in the hotel where i work there is a japanese steakhouse & i love messing around with the old guys that work in there, HaHa they are awesome.

this is def how i feel about my beloved* & i know he feels about me.

well it has been a busy Monday & tomorrow will be just as busy; I have an ultra sound & an 8 hour shift to stand on my feet & deal with these nervous flyers (swine flu!) so good day fellow bloggers

pictures of Julie's mock wedding reception, or 2nd wedding reception to come. my baby brother took the camera & posted only the pictures he was in LoL

Frustrated

2009-04-30T18:35:00.005-04:00

So there has been an insane amount of things going on around me lately & I am highly frustrated. There is a lot of events, birthdays, functions going on in May so every weekend is tightly scheduled down to the minute for us & for me I am an "on-time, prompt, all my ducks in a row type of gal" and for someone to throw me a curve ball at the pretty much last minute it really frustrates me. I mean come on, we all have lives to lead on a daily basis & we set aside certain times to see loved ones, friends & do these things that need to get done so for someone to just make a phone call "change of plans" casually & then have no thought in the world that maybe other people have things going on & a time change of hours may throw their schedule off, really ticks me off. Blah! Nevermind the fact that my birthday is coming up & for year number two now no one seems to care. I am the type of gal who will make a big deal out of someone else's birthday or special event yet nothing gets done for mine, unless I ask. Who wants to have to ask to be remembered once a year! Really. I guess I am in a rut; all else is well, work is going well, home/family is well, and of course me & my beloved* are fabulous I am in a serious rut. People are driving me insane at the moment, everyone has things to do of course! I realize that, can others realize too? Maybe the fact that I missed out on the fabulous weekend weather that just passed due to being deathly ill! could be why I am so off, who knows. All I can say is; everyone is well, things are going well, and my birthday is coming up! So maybe this rut will just be this particular event & not be one of those snow balls affects. Well Happy Thursday fellow bloggers, tomorrow is my dear Julie's "mock wedding reception" and my speech is non-exsistant at this time, my beloved* says I should just go from the heart the way he's heard me speak of Julie & Walter is fabulous and that would be more than good enough, not to mention the fact and I quote "seeing a tiny goregous girl get emotion is a killer too" so I am leaning towards winging in! Wish me luck fellow bloggers, picture to follow first event my entire family is going to in a long time! Woot.Woot god help the rest of the function.

huge curve ball.

2009-04-25T09:25:00.004-04:00

so it is only 9.30a and i have now been up for an hour! thanks aidan, lil cutie snuggles his butt in bed you think ah! yes many another hour of sleep nope! kid has plans to snuggle get in your face & then whisper in your ear "get up, it's time to get up" ah little man how i ache to sleep more. so we are here watching noggin eating toasters strudels & chocolate milk, while my beloved* attempts to make us pancakes (hence the eating another breakfast meal while waiting) but i am writing this morning out of anxiety. my dear friend julie who has recently got married is having ANOTHER wedding reception her mother is kind of just throwing with or without permission from the bride, due to the fact her mother didn't appreciate the actual wedding was so small & her entire family wasn't there. bah! don't even get me started, you had your wedding you chose to do what you did now someone else is getting married, show up, sit down & shut up! blah. but that's a whole different blog posting. so! julie calls me goes over the number of people going, apparently my entire family; my beloved* and my younger brother's lady friend are all invited. and right before we hang up our . . like hour conversation she's like 'so my mom wants to do a toast' now if you knew her mother she is fruity, the most fruity fruit in the bunch!! seriously. she is fruity, insane, intense, & extreme so just thinking about the fact she will be getting up to speak about her daughter (who they recently haven't been seeing eye to eye) was kind of the most unreal, unsure & scariest thing to myself & julie. 'ah really, that should be cool she'll be all emotional; you being pregnant, married, the entire 200+ family members there' Lol julie goes 'oh well she wanted the best man or maid of honor to do it' i go silent! 'jen? hey jen? did you hear me . . ' 'yeah julie i heard you, who was the best man again?' LoL 'oh no i don't want him speaking he'll be a druken slob i was hoping you would do it' now! who can tell their best friend who is pregnant; emotional, crazii, and your favorite person no they won't speak at their wedding. ugh! she has known me since middle school, all thru middle school & high school i was the geek student that would do all of the work so i wouldn't have to get up & speak in front of the class & then 2 years ago i was sent thru work to houston to go to a week long class to become a "mentor or facilitator" of the hotel's policies & procedures which! shocker i have to facilitate in front of a classroom of my co-workers! fabulous so she is completely aware of my fear. haha. and to top all of this off, last night was exactly a week before this ceremony/dinner is happening! ha. i don't write. i can ramble on here for hours easily because it's a bunch of non-sense & if you chose to read it then you do you don't have to sit & listen to me speak to you. oh jeesh someone help me. so that is my small curve ball that has been thrown at me this weekend!

but! i did receive two early beeday presents last night; my beloved* got me offspring tickets for july. i have loved offspring since high school, i have all of their albums & absolutely love them & have been raving about them since him & i met. so when he found out they were coming to town he knew how much i would love to go see them! also. i got 2 red sox tickets for may 8, the day before my beeday, against the tampa bay rays* eeeh. good game! ah. fabulous weekend people, fabulous weekend! enjoy the nice weather & each other. ciao*

fabulous weekend*

2009-04-24T11:11:00.004-04:00

well my week is over! phew! and thank god. being back to reality (back from vacation) in such a hectic week can really do a girl in. but the weekend is here, it is going to be absolutely fabulous here in boston this weekend* uh. i can not wait for 2p to come sooner. this week has been horendous! i got some funny art clips to visualize the week i've had here at work & the weekend i plan on having with my favorite guys, my beloved* and aidan.

stuck up people here at our hotel. LoL of course every place has them where they are always right, they need to stick their noses in things that have NO concern for them & just drive all the rest of us absolutely insane.

of course being the wrap up (first half of the week) of the boston marathon & school vacation week as well it was just pure madness here all week long.
and of course females having their normal cat fights; i personally call them battle of the departments because we all get so territorial over our staff & places that it ends up being cat fights between the females in departments, because men honestly just don't care!

i plan on having lots of love, fun & maybe even a beach in my weekend.

so excited to being doing my first seasonal visit to boston, haha i always look like this lady anywhere i go with a big map trying to find my way around.

and of course i said yesterday we are in serious over-due need for a smiley faces day, just because has been too long & it's been a long week! happy absolutely gorgeous weekend*

hope everyone's weekends so just as planned, or better! for us here in boston it will be fabulous therefor no reason not to enjoy it, yourself, loved ones & some summer clothes! eeeh!

Collection of week.

2009-04-23T08:21:00.005-04:00

so I haven't really blogged at all this week, ugh! being back from vacation after the Boston Marathon at a hotel is insane! Lots of clean up to do, prep for the rest of the guests coming in, just chaos! I love it* But I have forgotten a lot of things that has happened the last week & a half. So I am posting a bunch of fun pictures, little descriptions of what is going on with each & then that is it for the day I am feeling like a Day of Smiles in overdue so I may do one of those soon. With the nice weather coming this weekend we may not need them as much as we have in the past but extra few smiles can not hurt anyone! Ciao*

i missed Earth Day 2009 yesterday

honestly (sounds horriblei know but i'm a realist) i don't really care for it, no one helps or does anything on a normal basis & the thought of setting aside one day to pay attention to the Earth but one day won't make a big of difference.

my beloved's* older sister jyll's beeday was yesterday as well HAPPY BEEDAY*
this was my first sign when i arrived into vegas*

my beloved* is a joker. i bought that helmet for aidan for christmas; it sounds like the storm troppers voice, has all kinds of noices & sounds it rocks all the kids (adults)love it*

aidan got his haircut LoL long, drown-out, hilarious process to watch

aidan loves to shave* my beloved* used to do it often but he grew a beard so he doesn't and aidan loves to shave with his transformers shaving kit his auntie ryan got him.

but that is it for the day; been very busy & very home-bound & relaxing since I got home from vegas. this weekend is supposed to be gorgeous here in Boston the 70s & 80s uh I can not wait. leave nice weather to come home to nice weather; wedding reception coming up, beeday's & celebrations coming up & just lots of good things to come from us! hope it's the same for you.

home sweet home*

2009-04-22T00:21:00.002-04:00

so I am home from my trip to vegas* and man was it a trip, 5 hour flight there got in at 8.30p which was prime time to see lots of lights, sounds & even LoL smells. HaHa the next day was the wedding, which was so emotional & gorgeous it killed me everything was so beautiful & just perfect for my dearest/oldest friend. ah! and it was warm; we enjoyed the weather, walking, seeing & just having a blast. the flight home was a nightmare. the flight from vegas went to dallas & it was delayed for literally 4 hours! then american airlines insures that everyone will make their connections no need to worry ha! i miss mine!! so instead of heading from dallas to boston in the wee-hours of the morning i slept in the dallas airport with a lot of other poor slobs. finally! at 8am i finally get on my last 3 hour flight home & arrive home at 12.30p instead of 1a boo! but overall the trip was fantastic! i loved it, everything about it! i, of course, missed my guys & couldn't wait to get home to them but isn't that how traveling is without your loved ones. but being day 2 into reality (work is really busy marathon weekend is longer due to patriots days) and i am beat, so here are some fun photos there are a bunch more on facebook/myspace. enjoy!

the happy couple.

mr & mr caulfield.

myself & tony. ( the cousin LoL )
me, athena (cousin), the couple, athena (sister)

me & my love*

paris*

(( and a big ace for ballys ))

treasure island, one of my favorites

my hotel, the stratosphere.

that red light on the left side is a ride!! yeah it hangs over the 800+ foot tall building HaHa

hello gorgeous. home away from home.

that is all for the night fellow bloggers again more photos on my myspace/facebook sites check em out, i can not wait to get out to vegas again. seems like there is too much to do/see it can not be done all in one trip, no matter how long you stay. loves!

excitment, excitment, excitment

2009-04-15T10:22:00.003-04:00

Ah! I apologize but I just can not get over my excitment for my trip to Vegas that begins today! Ah. I am so excited I can barely stand it; I am still here at work and I can not think about anything other than that, all my work is set & ready to go so I am jsut waiting for 2p to come. I do have a good number of things to do between 2p & 4.30p (time I need to be at the airport for my flight) I still need to pack! eek, I usually wait til the last minute but I usually have most in the suitcase & awaiting the last minute items for the morning but this time I am so behind, I need to get my nails done!, and maybe get a shower in? Who knows. But I can not wait for the warmth, the sun, the shorts & flip flops! Ah! Can't stand it! Ah. I printed out a few pictures of what I will be doing this week/weekend hope your week/weekend if fabulous too, of course actual pictures to come later.

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so! going to the m&m factory. i love m&ms & so does my beloved* & aidan.

the strip itself. eeh!

my hotel, the stratopshere hotel

( has rollercoasters ontop of it! )

val's getting married, of course! the reason for the trip.

ah! the excitment of this trip is killing me. i have been excited for other vacations but this one is killing me. i am going with an old friend & her family (pretty much a second family), she's getting married, we are site-seeing & daniejla (a friend who moved to Vegas) is coming to hang! ah. life is grand. hope everyone else's week/weekends will be as rad, hey! it's going to be in the 70s here this weekend & it's marathon weekend, lots of visitors & things in the city.

Ciao fellow bloggers, until week.

Vegas bound.

2009-04-14T21:00:00.003-04:00

I am heading to Vegas bloggers! OmG I never go on vacations, or travel (other than work), or just go & enjoy myself anymore. I can not wait!! One flaw in this amazing vacation is that my beloved* will not be joining me. But they say the heart grows fonder with distance & time, right? LoL I don't care either way he knows I will miss him dearly but could not be more excited to leave this cold place get to sunny, warm Vegas wear some flip flops & tank tops & just have a ball. Sleep late, stay out until who knows when, I haven't done that in such a long time! Plus, one of my oldest friends Val is making the plunge! She's getting married, in Vegas! Ah! LoL and my friend Danijela moved to Vegas last winter so I am going to catch up with her, of course hit the M&M museum how could I not?! LoL uh this is going to be an amazing week/weekend all I have to do is get through my work day tomorrow & I am done until next Monday afternoon! Big smiles. Happy Marathon weekend to the city of Boston I am Vegas bound.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T21:05:00.006-04:00

we finally saw watchmen today! horray, and i actually enjoyed it, thoroughly i might say.

So for all of us Catholics out there today is Easter Sunday, which in my eyes has lost a lot (if not all) of it's meaning along the years. But nevertheless it is a time for families to get together, in their Sunday best (ha! little gag there), and enjoy each others company along with yummy food. Being that my beloved* and I usually hang out, eat food & vanish! But being a little bit of a different situation this time around we hung out a wee bit longer than usually, all in all was a good day & we snuck in Watchmen! I actually thoroughly enjoyed the movie, Matt you have no standing being a movie critic my friend! Sorry. But had a long, long day today we were actually about at about 9am without the lil man so I am beat, but I did check out todays' Post Secrets and came across a few I actually liked, haven't been very pleased with Post Secrets last few Sundays, so here you go fellow bloggers enjoy what's left of the weekend.

my moto right here, life can always be worse. relax!

i just really enjoyed this picture because i have so many pictures that i would love to be back in high school & cut out their faces & pretend they never exsisted in my life. awful people!

this is how i feel about my beloved*

we are both stubborn, hard-heated but i love ya babe.

that it is for the day bloggers, it has been a long exhausting day for me. but! lots of exciting things are to come; my Vegas trip is this week/weekend, Val's wedding, and of course my news!

Seriously!

2009-04-08T18:34:00.003-04:00

Does anyone read the news? OmG! I am reading my favorite news stations website whdh.com channel 7! And I came across an article about children, weight & school! Very touchy subject in the office; kids, parents & who's in control. So I found this article

"Schools to screen students' body mass
BOSTON -- Massachusetts health officials have approved regulations that would require sending children's Body Mass Index measurements home to parents.
The Public Health Council voted unanimously Wednesday to calculate student heights and weights, which are already measured annually, into a Body Mass Index measuring their overall proportions.
The results will be sent home to parents for students in first, fourth, seventh and 10th grades in a package explaining what they mean and how parents can best combat obesity.
Department of Public Health Medical Director Lauren Smith says Massachusetts will join Arkansas in notifying parents about a child's Body Mass Index. Eighteen other states require a BMI calculation.
The new regulations will be phased into schools over the next 18 months.
(Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)"

Okay, I am all for monitoring children's weight & BMi but to seriously have this stuff done at school, send home a 'progress report' on you own kids' weight & BMi? Like the parent doesn't see if their child is at one of the extremes, whether overweight or underweight!? Jeesh. This is something the parents need to monitor on their own! You as the parent, to a certain age, control what your child eats! Yes I understand some kids are extremely picky & will only eat certain items but seriously if you are feeding your kids McDonalds, Wendys, or anything bad three times a day for every meal you have to expect something bad to happen! Duh! People drive me insane. Blah! I just wanted to share this information with everyone! Thank you for listening

Time is on My Side.

2009-04-08T14:59:00.005-04:00

So I am still rather upset with my parents! They just gave my little tiny baby pooch the boot over the weekend, but what really blows my mind is that my tiny little dog couldn't stay but my brother's beast of a dog can?! How does that work. They complain time, money blah blah same old speech but a bigger dog takes more time walking him, more money on grooming & food?! Rather than a little puppy boy, which I did pay for! My brother, being the momma's boy he is does not. So where is the justice?! My poor baby is sitting in a cage awaiting a new home & his momma (me) to go & get him from that hell rather than being at home with me & his loved ones. Ugh the anger I have right now. For those of you who are animal lovers understand, a pet isn't just a pet it becomes a family member! How can you just toss a family member out? Ugh. Well I can not speak about it anymore it upsets me so bad to think of my baby in those conditions! But I just wanted to post some pictures of my baby.

Rileigh Marie* loved him.
my baby.
I can remember when I first got you babes, exactly two weeks before Christmas day 2005. I had graduated college that year & my dog Jasper had passed while I was in school & was so devastated that my parents drove all the way to Maine, to a breeder to get my baby. My mom & dad came in on a Sunday shift (worked at Papa Gino's at the time) and stunned, they never came to visit especially not on a Sunday and this little tiny head popped out of my moms jacket! It was my baby Wally & yes I even did cry! It was love at first sight. Sigh.

But in other news, my beloved* is doing okay at the moment, but tomorrow will be the make/break day for him. I have a feeling he will be A-okay but of course when a loved one hurts, you hurt just as much & know that they try to hide it & "be strong" ugh, I hate that phrase. "be strong" what the heck is that? Why can't you just lose your sh!t for a bit? Not to judge or point fingers towards people but people will mental disabilities can be completely accepted for having high & low days & I completely understand that & will support people in those conditions in both states. But what about the people that deal with the day to day bullsh!t, help others with these mental disabilities, and keep their cool most of the time, why are we not allowed to lose our sh!t & not be judged or scorned or looked at funny? Blah! I have no idea where I am going with that whole thing but I am frustrated. It's still cold outside when it should be "spring", everyone has serious cabin fever, work isn't well, and things are just in a rut & I want out! But in good news; this weekend is mine & my beloved*s weekend on luvah's lane, seeing Watchman in Imax!!, being Easter we are visiting family & eating their yummy food & of course enjoying each other something we haven't been able to do in a while. We are both on the go & have so much going on that even when we are together there's so much going on that our time is a blur & it's time to kiss & say goodbye! Awe so the silver lining is coming! And of course Vegas next week, a vacation I am way over due for!! So hopefully things will be getting better after tomorrow, things haven't been very good so there's only one place to go but up!

Silver Lining anyone?

2009-04-06T22:41:00.003-04:00

So just as I am personally starting to feel better, my parents throw me a screwball! I go by their house today, because being the spoiled Princess I am they still by me yummy food so I swing by their house before to grab some & "wally! come here wally!" my little lapdog won't come!? My brother comes walking in "before you flip out, here us out" yeah! We all know what happened, MY DOG WENT TO THE FARM! Wtf. The deal was you hold the dog until my beloved* & I move into a place where we can have dogs & I'll take him, they can't wait like 5 more months? Arg. Not only was he my Christmas present & loving pet for years now, they just tossed him aside like a mut?! Wtf. But my brother's big beast of dog can stay? Boo! Ontop of this my dear beloved* got some unsettling news today. Where is the silver lining? Boo! It's something that happens, and he will get past it because he is strong & knows we all love him so but just the fact that there hasn't been a break for us in weeks now! Blah. Again hopefully this weekend that is all ours will do us justice. Hope everyone else is doing fabulous, I have another doctors appointment tomorrow, wish me luck!

Down in the Dumps

2009-04-02T18:00:00.003-04:00

I've been down in the dumps the past few days, I got some serious news a few weeks ago that is changing everything & since then people around me have just acting like complete assh0les & not realizing that their actions, words & phrases not only hurt the one it is directly used towards but others as well so I have been feeling really low lately when I should in fact should be thrilled. So being as low as I have been when I should be thrilled bums me out more! Ugh. I am just really bummed. I am treated like sh!t by people I once called dear friends, now people I love are crushing me all over the place. What the hell is happening around me? Maybe once the work week is over & I get a weekend to myself, my feet up & relaxation time I will feel better, hopefully. But people are blowing my mind, shocking because I've been around assh0les for a long time & I know how awful they can be. Some people are so selfish, stubborn, arrogant, & just plain rude and try to pass all that off as something else to cover themselves so it looks like they're good people. Why cover it? Call a spade a spade, if you act this way you have to know what you are doing yet you try to still pretend you're a good person? HaHa blow my mind! I also hate the phrases "you're overreacting or blowing things out of proportion" I mean if someone feels a certain way about something & gets upset how is it being blow out of proportion? Now if I had turned around & done/said what I wanted then maybe yes I would have been blowing things out of proportion but I get upset & leave it in the house & let no one know how I really feel other than a select few. So please, stop with the bogus phrases cause if you want to see insanely blow out of proportion events then I can def do that for you.

I am done for the morning, last week was an end of a rough few weeks. Lots of changes coming up, mean people not realizing what they are doing, and of course me being the "bigger person" and just taking it all in stride. It gets to a person after an amount of time, and that was last week. I am hoping this week is better, Opening Day for the Red Sox is this week, been postponed from today due to rain, I have Tuesday off which means I will be able to watch the entire game! my boss changed a few of my shifts so I get out a 8p, and an exciting weekend coming up! Ah, to the future! Ciao fellow bloggers.

okay miss/mr perfect

2009-03-31T19:27:00.002-04:00

So, today's blog is going to be about 'self-righteous' people, thoughts, idea & -ness in general. To being the defintion of self-righteous is " confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic & intolerant of the opinions & behaviors of others " that definition being brought to you from definition.com. So someone who is confident in themselves but is intolerant of others, hmm sounds like anyone you know? Sounds like someone everyone knows, we all know someone that is like that. Ugh! They are frustrating & so rude, ignorant & they are intolerable for us! Unfortunately I know a few of these people; a few I work with so I have to suck up what I really want to say, smile & a say yup! sure whatever you say & the people that are in my personal life are important to others; family or friends so if I just say what I want which is usually a rude comment right back at them because "people are senitive" and I am not. Pppft. Grow up, life is a bummer & if you can dish it out you should be able to take it. Why is so many people surrond me all, I mean all, preach they take sh!t from no one, do what they want, say what they want & basically just do whatever. But they always!! are nice or sugar coat things for others & tell me 'oh no we're not friends, i can't stand that c^nt, what a d0uchebag"?! WtF hypocrite ugh! Yet I actually say what I want when I want & everyone seems to think I am insensitive & cruel, I'm not cruel I just say what everyone else is thinking & few of us have the balls to say. I am tired of these "self-righteous" people who do no wrong by anyone because usually you are the most intolerable, rude & worst people to be around in the entire world! Yeah I went as far as entire world, and I meant it! Blah. I just wish that, people don't need to be cruel, would just say exactly what they meant, okay yeah we are friends deal with it, or hey! you know what I don't really give a sh!t or just be a d0uchebag & stop preaching you do no wrong cause hunny we all do & by you saying you never do & are a complete ass all the time guess what, you're worse than I am. Ha! Well bloggers, I am 'working' unfortunately it is extremely, extremely slow & we are losing our biggest client tomorrow so things are phenomenal here! Ciao*

Not much.

2009-03-31T00:05:00.002-04:00

So, it's been about a week my dear blog. WoW it has been a very eventful, news filled, lots of excitement, nervousness, & just overall 'wow' But I will get into details at a later time, not an open book but this is something that will be known eventually to all, but no need for it now. But onto other things. Hhhm. All is well here; Boston is starting to slowly warm up, the snow is almost all gone, baseball season is almost here, and the economy is hurting us but not killing us! Which is phenomenal! I understand everyone is under lots of pressure & stress worrying about their financial situation, trust me I am as well, but if you have a job, have food, shelter & loved ones I think you're golden I know I am! We can't have it all right, I'd prefer food, shelter & lots of love than lots of money, of course all of the above would be nice but they say 'you can't have your cake & eat it too' so I like the cake I have.

I don't really have much to say & I am rather tired, but I am here news is coming (rather exciting news) & looking for some topics to blog about. Altho I believe once my fellow bloggers are back, no names (kaiti, kolleen, & jaime) I will read theirs & get ideas, that's basically how it works. Seem everyone is on vacation lately! Til later bloggers.

Mile a Minute

2009-03-19T19:10:00.003-04:00

I am so sorry I have been neglecting you my dear blog! But unfortunately this will not be a "real" post tonight. My mind is all over the place big week this week; and I don't mean big in a good way altho some items/events have been good overall it's been a glum week. Young person I know has passed away, two near/dear people to me are having serious issues with some serious issues (not my stories to tell), I also have friends with weddings coming very fast, babies on their ways just lots going on at the moment. We did replace the girl that went MiA here at work but the whole re-training process (we hired back a girl who was laid-off) is draining. Plus we are starting to get busy (yay*) so getting things ready for these guests, groups, corporate accounts & crews coming in beginning next month is kicking my ace & all I want to do when I am not here is sleep or just relax with my feet up. I do! Have good news, well no details at this time but some very exciting news is to come very soon. Lots of my loved ones have exciting things going on & the second I have time to sit & concentrate on their stories (that I can share) I will be all over it. Until later in the week my fellow bloggers & beloved blog! Ciao*

Not Sure What to Say

2009-03-16T14:20:00.005-04:00

Happy Monday! Took a lot for me to get myself to say that, I had probably the worst weekend in a really long time. Worked it all, literally double shifts, back to back shifts & spent almost my entire weekend at or on my way to work! Fabulous. On top of that got a lot of bad news about people I know & care about! Even better. Can't really complain about work because even tho I was there I was with the weekend crew, who rock, and did enjoy most of it (last night was horrible) but I had Jamie by my side! thank god. But this morning I was to begin my training for my 60-mile, 3-a-day walk and that was a bust. Postponed until next week, with all of the exhaustion from working 60+ hours and having to get up at 7a with my beloved* & Aidan after only four or so hours of sleep I said screw that.

But today I want to focus on narcotics! Why do people use them, I understand some they are fun, exciting & whatever but why the ones that we all know can kill you in an instant?! I can't grasp my mind around that, let me get high for a little bit only to possibly croke afterwards?! I looked up the definition of narcotics and http://www.streetdrugs.org/narcotics.htm tells me that narcotics are "drugs that alleviate physical pain, suppres coughing, alleviate diarrhe, and induce anesthesia. Natural narcotics are derived from the Opium poppy & synthetic narcotics are made to act like the major constituents of Opium (thebaine, morphine, codeine). Legal, synthetic narcotics such as OxyContin (oxycodone) and Vicodin (hydrocodone) are prescribed as pain-relievers but are often diverted for illegitimate uses. Heroin is an illegal narcotic, derived from morphine." Myself, along with people I know, love & care for are dealing with a lot of (lack of a better word) crap with people & narcotics. I just can't grasp my mind around why people do these things, and everyone says "oh well i smoke weed & it leads to other things" that is complete & utter bullsh!t. Weed isn't like any other drug, there's no need to "step-up" with weed, maybe a different form or what-not but "step-up" from something that there is nothing else out there like?! Okay buddy, complete bullsh!t. Now I only know this from people who know people that do these things, luckily even tho living where I did during my youth I never was caught up in this "group" but I guess Heroin users usually start with OC's or Oxycodone pills and those get too expensive because their tolerance builds up & needs more to get the same high & it's cheaper as Heroin okay that I can understand & grasp my mind around, I guess. And I was reading on http://psych.med.nyu.edu/conditions-we-treat/conditions/narcotic-abuse that the narcotic abuse begins either in that exact way or a patient takes a perscription painkiller too often or for too long a period of time & the body builds up a tolerance for the drug, the user feels they neeed more of the drug & becomes dependent! Fabulous. So the meds the doctors give me for whatever reason we need them for we could possibly become dependent on! Great news. The same website then also says that there are treatment options to come off of these drugs & not feel the " I need that drug " anymore.

With all of this information it is not helping me any. I mean, OxyCodone is a legal drug people need for pain, so who the hell came up with Heroin! It is illegal! Where the hell did it come from & why the hell did they need to sell it to people?! Got my answer! http://wiki.ansers.com/Q/what_country_did_heroin_originate_from tells me that "heroin is derived from opium, which has historically come from Afghanistan (and continues to mainly come from there) Heroin itself was first synthesized in 1874 by an English chemist and was later marketed by Bayer Pharmaceuticals, a German company. It was advertised as a safe, no-addictive alternative to morphine, and was so named because it made the user feel 'heroic'."

So glad that the people from the 1800s felt they knew so much about so much that they advertised this bullsh!t as "non-addictive, safe alternative" I am not sure where I am going with any of this or what even I am trying to get across with all of these words & phrases. I guess I am just looking for answers for myself as to why these things happen to people, and good people. Why get yourself caught up in this crap, but now I see it's not always their faults (per say). Life is absolutely insane, the things it puts people thru, let's happen & the events that take place. Maybe life is the hell & once you've died you go to Heaven because we've been thru all of the crap here on hell?! I am not sure what I believe in anymore, altho I haven't in a long time. I guess that is all for today, please love the people around you & do your best to take care of them because life is so precious & could be gone in a moments time.

This is War.

2009-03-14T10:25:00.005-04:00

I feel that it is literally the world against me, I have been working insane amounts of hours (due to the girl just disappearing one day during her shift), not seeing my beloved* (therefor not getting my love & affection), not sleeping well at all, lots of crap on my mind & just tired of dealing with a bunch of big cry-babys all over the place. I have decided that I will not partake in being the "bigger person" any longer. I will give snide comments back, quick zingers, & just overall give me crap & you're getting it right back. I am exhausted, over-worked, under-paid & dealing with a bunch of crapasses everywhere I turn so you want to play these games they are coming right back to you! = ) that makes me happy. I have been the "bigger person" my entire life, my parents have enstilled in me the bullcrap "treat others how you want to be treated" and "two rights don't make a wrong" but you know what, those don't work either! Why be nice, respectful, & just overall a good person if it gets you nowhere? This "karma" business I have believed in my entire life is crap too! I do all these good things, take crap from others & do things for others but I get nothing back, no recognition of anything just get crap piled ontop of crap! Nice. So I am throwing all of that out the window, I am going to take care of myself! Literally myself from thus forward & I will give back to those who give to me. AH! It feels good to proclaim my independence & self-dignity back.

So I guess this week coming up will be the week of me. I begin my training to get in shape & prepared for the 60-mile, 3-day Breast Cancer walk & now I am doing right by me! Ah, the things I will feel better about doing. I mean I am not going to be spiteful or vengeful but if others are douches, rude, c..you..n..t's then guess what I love being a douche, I can seriously be rude (I am Irish & Italian good & bad mix) and I personally love that c..you..n..t word so call me it! = ) give me a little giggle. And the week will begin bright & early Monday morning so I will be tired, so bring it on = ) ah life will be grand taking care of myself & a HIGHLY select few. I will also be getting piss-drunk Monday night with the fabulous Jamie for St. Patrick's Day (we both work Tuesday) and I will be eager for a fight, so please bring it on! LoL I am such an angry woman, but only when my buttons are pushed. I forgive few & remember everything!

Now I just want to leave this blog with, I am not one of those cry-babies I mention oh so often, I am jsut proclaiming my dignity back & warming the world around me that it's war. I am extremely independent, take care of myself & a few others at the same time (none of which I have to, I care about them & want to), I try to help everyone & their mother whenever/however I can but it gets me no where but broke, aggrevated, & stressed to the max! So I give up, not in!! Have a peaceful weekend & be kind to others, who knows what kind of day they're having & what you'll get back & if it'll ruin your day! = ) cheese.

I just want to re-itterate I am a happy, good person but I am just a good person at her wit's end. A good person can only take so much crap before they break & I am near my breaking point & I can not break, I will not break so I will begin to give it back!! I am a Taurus, it's a bull, want the horns?? LoL ciao* Happy Saturday.

Love, funny lil word.

2009-03-11T21:53:00.005-04:00

So I have calmed down since my earlier blog & am stumped. Love, what is it exactly? What does it entail? And is it possible to love more than once? Maybe it's the "wedding fever" that is going around or the fact that events are taking place around me are all in the love corner but I am puzzled. Can we love more than once? If not then why is that we all (including myself) use the word towards many people, of course excluding family members those people we have to love. LoL just kidding. But in all seriousness, what is love? And why is that in this day & age when we love someone it is the "way" to then get married, have children & basically change who you are & your entire life. I know that relationships take compromise, but think about it every relationship always has the one person that compromises more or gives more. May not be by much but it's always the case, inevitable. So of course my wondering mind I googled, 'what is love' and the website wikihow.com tells me

"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”
— Albert Einstein

Love is difficult to define. How do you avoid confusing it with infatuation or lust? Philosophers and psychologists both have attempted to define love, or at least its difference from infatuation and lust. If you are looking to find love, the following observations may be helpful.

Love is much more than a risk, but is a risk that one can take and grasp and fall into a dark abyss or dig oneself a hole and only crawl back when you overcome your emotions.

How can one truly define what love is? Not even an experienced person can truly grasp or explain love to it's truest and deepest meaning. Its concepts are just a never ending story of an open book of experiences. But love does lie in one's heart, where memories are but shadows lingering in your soul."

So that doesn't help me much. But I see so many couples who state they are "in love" and I ponder, some people seem absolutely perfect for each other while others & their relationships serious boggle my mind. I honestly feel you have your first love, usually as a kid you are infatuated with someone so much and then I believe in your person. I use the word person as the one person that fits you like a puzzle piece, almost a soul-mate or your true love. Someone that fits you so well there isn't much compromise, settling, or changing. But all of those are inevitable; compromise, settling (to an extent), change. But all of these people I speak of tell me when you find that person you just know. So, you feel you know you've found your person & everything is good except outside events/people. Why is that no matter how great everything/everyone is there is always an element from the outside of the relationship that makes you flip & flop back in forth to maybe this isn't it. And why is that there is always that outside element, usually a person is what makes such a huge impact because an event or two can be overcome easily, but a person who just won't go away or stop poking in just isn't as easy to get over.

I am not sure where I am going with this I am just rambling today I guess. I am just thinking, it's what I unfortunately do over-think everything, but I just wonder. I guess we just have to take it day by day & enjoy who we have & what we have today & hope things continue the way they're going (as long as they are positive things). I am off for the day, just going to continue to ponder. LoL any enlightenment please send it my way, maybe it's my age (again) that makes me ponder all of these things. Who knows., not me.

There's no place like Vegas

2009-03-11T15:08:00.003-04:00

So this morning, well afternoon now & I can not get over the excitement of the fact that I am going to Vegas next month! Woot.Woot. My flight & hotel were just booked moments ago & I am jet-setting to Vegas to watch my dearest Val get married to the man of her dreams. I am jittery, excited & want to call & tell everyone, I am going to Vegas baby! LoL Everyone is coupled up to go & I am at the moment looking to be going alone, my beloved*'s work schedule has been completely altered & our entire lives are being turned upside down so we are not sure if he will make it so that I am a bit bummed about but I am just completely covered in smiles, happiness, & excitement. Not only am I going to Vegas, I am seeing my oldest/dearest friend Val get married, with her entire family, my second family. So I could not be more excited, watching everything from the beginning of the relationship ( i was there the night they 'technically' hooked up for the first time ) to the engagement, wedding shower & now the wedding I can not be more excited. But! ontop of all the excitement from the wedding the night before the wedding the "bachelorette night" we will be taking a class to learn how to be a stripper. LoL absolutely hilarious, we are told 'to wear comfy clothes (as to help us flex), bring a good attitude, big gorgeous smile, & they supply the beverages' LoL plus once we've "passed" the class, of course I will, we get a tee shirt, sash, & Val (being the bride-to-be) gets a video of the whole ordeal. ( there is no planned events of clothes coming off just moves being taught) then it's the wedding day & then it's Jen gambling, drinking time! Woot.Woot. I am so sorry I can not concentrate on anything besides all of this! I've been so tired of watching, hearing & seeing pictures of other peoples vacations & here I go on my own real, fabulous vacation plus my best friends wedding! Well if I settle down later & have something interesting on my mind I will be back, if not I will be in my own little world of blissfulness enjoying the fact that "i'm going to vegas, i'm going to vegas!"

Showers, Weddings & babies. oh my!

2009-03-10T13:03:00.004-04:00

So it is not even spring yet here in Boston yet my world around me only has three things on their minds: showers, weddings, babies! And in that order. LoL none of which I am personally taking part in so my parents are on high alert! I have two near & dear friends who are moving up & out into the world with their men, future husbands, one of the two friends is even expecting a little one of their own. So the events around me aren't the mediocre events that take place everyday, I am seriously happy for them both with all of my heart & so proud that they were able to find the guys they were meant to be with & able to make it work. Lots of people now-a-days get so lazii even when it comes with the one you love, they just don't put the effort into anymore to make things work, nothing is always easy, smiles & laughs it's going to be hard sometimes & they pulled through whatever events/obstacles took place & are stilltogether. I guess because of the events that are taking place around me that is probably why my favorite song of the moment is:

Kings of Leon 'Use Somebody'

I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,
Always looking down at all I see

It is a really good song when you hear it, the instruments that are in the background, the way they sing the song, it's just awesome I love it. But back to my ramble. While all of these events around me & looking back at who we each were in high school makes me wonder if everyone has a somebody. Boggles my mind sometimes. Everyone really could use a somebody. But enough of that mind wondering, over-thinking, always getting myself into trouble business and onto pictures! I have pictures from both Julie's wedding & Valerie's wedding shower. Both girls looked gorgeous, of course & I got pictures with both the bride & bride-to-be. Oh but the picture of Julie & I was taken by her, hot gay photographer (they're all gay!), and that will come soon! Enjoy! Happy Tuesday.

the happy, gorgeous couple.

oh! and that's the hot gay photographer.

my beloved* & i.

julie & liz. sisters(twins)*

her mother did an amazing job with everything. that is val's chair.

athena & val. sisters*

mother & daughter.

best friends forever.

and valerie's second family. that's my mom*

Addictions

2009-03-09T22:21:00.001-04:00

Okay! I am doing another post today, don't do two posts in one day very often but Jamie is signing up for blog at this very moment! So excited!! I love blogspot.com & I recommend it to everyone, especially everyone I work with to vent & ranble I love blogging! So at this very moment my dear love Jamie is beginning her very own blogsite! Whoopie. She rocks, she is just like me in a lot of ways! Upbeat, perky, we sing together, dance, she is just awesome! And I can not wait to start seeing what she'll blog about & what she'll comment on mine! LoL is this horrible I have a serious addiction to blogspot.com? I think not! Yay Jamie!