i want my baby!

so this week has been my first full week back to work, since my little peanut has been born. i know, it's been 8 months & i was lucky enough to stay home with her that entire time. i wanted to work, i wanted to get out of the house, have a few extra dollars to help out my beloved* & be that much more comfortable. i am only working part time, literally three minutes from my house and it's an easy, fun job. but the way my schedule is it has me working six days a week, for four or five hours, i think i have one six hour day. i am enjoying it. i work usually 11-3 or 4 & olivia rose usually naps around noon til 3 sometimes a little off that schedule, but i'm not missing too much. i do work one night & a mid shift but last night & tonight my little lady is staying with her nana & papa, my parents. so i am missing her like crazii. yes, everyone has told me it gets easier & i need the me-time. i'm not complaining about work in any way shape or form, i wanted to work, i did this myself. but i miss her. i miss her like crazii, while i'm working i miss her, but it's not that bad cause obviously i'm busy & going, but the second i come home & she is sleeping or not here, i am like baby girl! come home to muma. arg. i guess i was just looking for another outlet to get this separation anxiety out, my beloved* says it gets easier & reminds me why i'm working but it's tough on a first time mom. i just want to snuggle her up & never let her go. i don't think i will handle pre-K & kindergarden day one drop-off well at all!

when is enough enough

so my question for today is. when do you just say enough is enough?
we all have enough one our plates; we have kids, families, jobs, lives, so when do you say okay this has gone on long enough & being the "adult" or "being the bigger person" is just enough. i mean, yes, if you "be the bigger person" they say you win because you were strong enough to be better than others. but with having a life, commitments, responsibilities adding up when is it like okay you need to grow up as well & do your half. i would love to be able to go into detail about this topic but of course the whole allowing people into your life & putting it all out there sometimes isn't the best idea. anyone can come onto any website at any time & read this & figure out what you're talking about & in the end it isn't worth it. but when is it? when is it the time for the bigger person to just be like "listen, i don't mind continuing as is but i need a little help from the other end" that is my question. i don't mind playing housewife, mom, babysitter, laundry lady, working mom, housekeeper, peacemaker, party planner, the one who worries about what will happen if we do this, i sometimes enjoy most of these things but when is it my turn to be like "fcuk it, i'm taking the day off from it all" i need a vacation; mentally, physically & emotionally. but that is off in the far distance for me at this time too much going on, coming up. birthdays, parties, holidays, just began working again, things need to get done. but that day will come & those at the other end of my little fit i can promise will not be happy campers. and of course i don't want to come across the rude, mean b!tch that i know i do sometimes but a girls gotta express herself and after holding things in for so long it probably will not be a nice little sit down conversation. oh well.

(just to clarify, i am extremely happy with where my life is. i love my family, friends, working but there are certain aspects or people that just make things a little more difficult. if some people would just lend a helping hand or keep their crappy, debbie-downer mouths shut that would be just as helpful) happy hump day fellow bloggers.

he said she said crowd

okay. so it's been almost a month since my last blog. i know! i am seriously slacking. with olivia now 8 months old & mobile, only in her walker or walks with support from someone, it makes things a little difficult. i also just began working part-time yesterday, super exciting. life is crazii. baby, five year old, my beloved*, house work, real work, and trying to attempt at having a social life and of course sleeping! i love sleep it gets tough to sit here & blog.
all is well with us. olivia just had her six month checkup with her cardiologist & she got a clean bill of health. the appt was a difficult one tho. she was sedated for an ultrasound of her heart; so she wasn't able to eat or drink for a few hours before, we had to keep her awake on the 40 minute car ride down, and then right after giving her the meds to help her sleep she was miserable! watching your child cry, scream, fuss for food & to stay awake is torture. but it was worth it. her cardiologist, dr diego, thought she looked amazing & her ultrasound cleared us of any worries we thought we might have had. so that was super. her older brother snugglebutt finally held her, he loves playing with her & has all these plans to teach her different stuff. so we are super excited about all of his involvement he has had with her lately. olivia still wants absolutely nothing to do with baby food. now when i say baby food i mean the jars of mush we're suppose to give our lil ones. the gerber puffs, real fruit in a mesh bag, any lil snacks we give her she loves but crack open that jar & attempt to put it near her & we end up wearing it. i have no idea what to do, if anyone has any tips (please don't say "she'll eat when she's ready" that's all i've been getting) please send them this way.

but i wanted to blog tonight because i am now 25, have a child, in a serious relationship & have seriously grown up even before olivia was born i was a little bit more mature in certain aspects than others my age & some older than me. why is it that all of these websites; facebook, myspace, twitter, blogging gives people the balls to start smack talking others. of course we all do it to an extent, it's only human. but for someone to make serious accusations about another's life is appalling to me. yes, we let tons of people into our lives thru these websites but some of us don't put our entire lives out there for others to see so what people are going off may not be the whole story. also. just because you hear a portion of a story from someone else, the whole "he said she said" business doesn't mean you have any idea what is really going on. just frustrating. i am actually proud of myself that i haven't gotten all flustered about these silly little episodes, i've remained pretty calm about it actually. but it's just like; we are adults, some of us have kids, husbands, wives, when is it time for others to grow up too. no you have no "real responsibilities" so you can live your life as you please, but when do you realize i'm twenty something years old & you need to get over the gossip. blah. that is all for tonight, i feel a little better after venting. gotta go bath, feed & snuggle my little lovely up. ciao!