small photo recap of 2009

we got dressed up & looked perdy. my beloved* had his marvelous beard


i went to vegas!


we watched friends get married*




we got pregnant!


we had accidents.


we went on trips.


i went thru the "beautiful" process of delivery.


we became a family.


we had miss olivia rose*s first christmas.


that is just a few of our photo collection from our 2009 year. it was absolutely fantastic; all the heartaches, backaches, headaches, laughs, smiles, extreme tough times, i wouldn't change a thing of it. it was perfect. my dearest friend julie also had her first child miss isabella* i unfortunately do not have any pictures on the computer of her but she is on our fridge and she is gorgeous as well. i bid you a fair farewell 2009 times were good, onto 2010 & more memories with loved ones.

two days to go.

so it is now only two days away from the new year, 2010. can you believe it? were we not just in this same spot like yesterday? freezing, calming down from the sugar rush of christmas, & highly anticipating the "adults night" with no kids running around screaming. man! it seems like it for me. this time last year it was me & my beloved*'s second new years together spending it with his family & i was just thrilled, it was also insanely cold, icy & snowing on the roads i remember that from picking up his cousin, my friend kaiti. but this year has completely changed our worlds. instead of the three of us; me, my beloved* & snugglebutt we now are blessed with the presence of our miss olivia rose* lost some friends, gained some new ones & even realized who really will be there for you in a time of need. this year has been amazing, tough, sad, & just mind blowing. we lost loved ones, gained new ones, become a mother/father/grandparents/uncles/aunts, moved onto bigger & better things, changed looks & just enjoyed life. it's also the end of another decade. woah! another decade down the shoot. i just want to blog today about how i have realized this all for myself; the loss of loved ones, friends, gain of new ones, the fact i was actually planning on missing motherhood (crazii me), & just falling in love with someone all over again & realizing who/what really matters. i hope everyone else triumphed through their own tough times & enjoyed the happy ones. shit happens no matter what we plan or want it's how we react, cope & transform from them that really says who we are. i feel phenomenal after everything that has happened or been said. i am happy with exactly where i am & who i'm surrounded by. here's to everyone else feeling the same way & to another great year in 2010.

how do you . . .

now i have a serious question, probably will actually end up being a debate. but! the topic is or question; in today's day & age our lives intertwine so insanely & closely with others sometimes people that we would not rather have anything to do with & probably never want to have anything to do with. but how do with deal with this? you try the yeah sure you're there thing but you have to actually socialize so you try the "friend thing" but that obviously doesn't work because once forced to have to be sociable with someone kind of kills the enjoyment of the person. how does this work? for myself once someone has crossed me to the point i can not deal with their existence of being around me everything they do will drive me past my breaking point? but we are all adults here, i mean i am a mom now & i honestly don't change over night but i really could careless for a lot of crap but certain things really tick me off & the fact i would usually blow up is kind of childish and up until (exactly a month today) i was alone. i mean yes i am with my beloved* but i only really had to worry for myself, now i have my precious miss olivia rose* and not that i would like to blow up on people, i would just like them to be easier to deal with & sometimes, well a lot of times, people blow situations/conversations out of proportion & again someone has to "be the bigger person" why me?! why do i need to suck it up & just look the other way, let it roll off my back. i am not that type of person, things "rolling off my back" don't happen. so again the question/topic is how do you deal with a person in your life that shouldn't or wouldn't necessarily be there on your terms but they are & you need to be civil, sociable & pretend to like them?

out & about

so i finally got out . . with olivia rose* that is & not to a doctor appt. LoL only to my parents & my beloved*s parents but hey! i wasn't home i barely held her (which was bittersweet, missed our snuggle time but great to be free of the extra 8 lbs on my right arm) we went to my parents had lunch there & actually went to meet my dad's friend, the tattoo artist & watch him at work. gone for an hour i was dying from separation anxiety so i made him rush me back to her. LoL hung out a bit more but then moved onto the next house, the McG clan. so once arrived we were greeted by carrie! everyone else was gone so it was a nice way to ween into all the people, that house has always got at least 5 people in it LoL which is fabulous. then muma mcg came home with machelle, morgann & ryan. i knew morgann (she's olivia's cousin, only other girl) she was going to be thrilled, as soon as we told everyone we were pregnant she was excited & begged for a girl! amazing with olivia! she held her perfectly, moved around with her great (a little nervous at first but she was a natural) ryan was a little too nervous but instead of being shy with me he sat with me, starred at olivia, he wasn't into making faces or talking to her LoL which was a-okay because olivia seemed to enjoy just looking at his handsome face. machelle & jyll (sister's along with carrie to my beloved*) loved olivia, jay (jyll's boyfriend) was a natural. olivia just melted into his shoulder. and cousin kassi was a natural, she just loved playing with kassi. and then! then papa mcg came home & it was all over, olivia absolutely loves her papa mcg, he is so snuggley why wouldn't she, now i know this from experience new years eve i def fell asleep on papa mcg's shoulder. LoL hilarious we of course stopped on our way home to visit daddy, gone all day we missed him so. and then home. highly eventful day. and olivia was beat from it, which was great because we walked in the door she ate & went right to sleep. muma couldn't have asked for a better ending to a great day.

but tonight! tonight muma gets out without my little angel. my beloved* has been so kind to stay home with her, but good luck to him he will have both kids. snugglebutt is coming over tonight! going out with my love ryan was suppose to be for sushi & "itchi-bans" but will be mexican & margaritas now due to the snow aka "blizzard" coming. but i am stoked to get dressed up & out! and then tomorrow it's sunday, family stay in & cook/eat day. yay. for this weekend. and

3 weeks.

so olivia rose* is going to be 3 weeks old today at 1.26 this afternoon. 3 weeks already! and if you were around her she is insanely alert not only for a 3 week old but for a child you just had heart surgery! she was that way her entire hospital stay as well, whenever she opened those big beautiful heart-wrenching blues she was looking around, followed sounds & was just extremely observant. this kid i am telling you is absolutely amazing & these 3 weeks were so long yet went by so fast. they aren't kidding ya when they say 'they grow up fast' she doesn't look like a 3 week old, but that just may be me seeing her everyday knowing what she started as & looks like now.

but our nurse came for a visit today, colleen. she is amazing. has two little ones of her own, isn't too much older than myself, and is just super sweet & one of us. i personally loved that 99.9% of everyone (medical staff) that we have come into contact with these past 3 weeks have been everyday normal people, makes things so much easier. and colleen is just that; she comes over checks olivia's vitals, her weight, we chat about her behavior/feeding. she's cool.

but our little peanut (yes i still call her my peanut) is now 3 weeks old, healthy, happy, & has no memory of the horrendous three weeks we have just all been through & we can really get things going now.

ah, motherhood. there really is no words for it, it's worth all the hearth-ache, agony & anxiety. oh how i love her so.

olivia's story.

so talking to my beloved* he seems to think that if i blog about olivia rose*s birth & what happened it'll help me cope with it (not that i didn't/haven't dealt with it okay but it will help me) so here it goes, i mean it took me a week to blog about her being born in general.

so olivia was 8 days late, we played a phone tag game with the doctor for four days. we would call check to see if we should head into the hospital to induce labor, unfortunately (well luckily really) the hospital was always busy. we went into the doctors office for a stress test on monday 11/23 to make sure that our lil peanut was comfy & happy in the belly still because they were going to have me wait until tuesday which would make it the 8 days late. after the checkup & stress test my doctor suggests going for a walk somewhere, that walking after the "checkups" could help begin the labor process even break my water. so we head to the cheesecake factory (i was hungry surprise), eat some dinner, and walk the burlington mall. we of course stumble into the lego store (snugglebutt has an obsession with legos) while actually forgetting the stress of being late, the soreness of carrying the extra 52 pounds, my phone rings. "hi this is winchester hospital come on in dr. millar wants to begin the induction tonight" oh snap! and by snap i really mean a cuss word but i'll leave it out here. scared crap-less & unfortunately packed ready to go (my beloved* was hoping the stress test or doctor was sending us to the hospital earlier) so we went right to the hospital. i personally love the fact i drove myself right up to the ER (entrance at night) and said okay valet park this bad boy see ya in two days with a baby.

get to the hospital, get upstairs, hooked up to all the machines & drink some nasty drink that will be hopefully begin the induction on my own and we "sleep" LoL woken up at 43oam to then have the medicine put in place to actually make things begin whether my body wants it to or not and then my water is broken at about 10a or 11a (my beloved* says i have no idea) now i had a few friends warn me about labor pains and they were brutally honest & scarred the crap out of me but it did no justice! the pain was unreal! even with the epidural the pain was unreal, i was told only pushing for an hour & a half for a first timer & for being induced i was lucky but during the hour & a half i did not feel lucky at all. my nurse mary, cutest older skinny lady who seemed to be right off the boat from ireland said i was seriously entertaining. i was bribing her to let me have a c-section, telling her that we didn't need to wait for the doctor what's a doctor really but a nurse with an extra piece of paper, & then when olivia rose* finally made her appearance i said & i quote from the best nurse mary funniest thing ever said at a babys' birth "she's a fcuking person" and of course did the typical new mom reaction; cried, smiled, kissed my beloved*.

and then this is when the story gets ugly. we were told before the pushing ever began that because olivia was "over-baked" the doctors term was, she had a "bowel movement" or meconium in the womb & they didn't want her to cry, for the fact she may swallow some of it & it wouldn't be good. so the doctor had the nicu (neonatal icu) in the room to help with making sure olivia was suctioned well so that didn't happen. well baby finally!! arrives & unfortunately the doctor cut the cord which wasn't part of my plan, i didn't get the from womb to chest mommy-baby bonding that i wanted & she tried to cry. so somehow i missed the fact that when she tried to cry she didn't become pink. the nicu staff immediately took olivia away from where i was and brought her to her little baby warmer bed which was right next to mine & they suctioned her. so my mom, my beloved* & i went on with the typical excitement because we were told the nicu staff would snag her & help her out to make sure that she got all the (literally) crap out of her way. well again i missed the blue but my beloved* said parts of olivia; her hands, lips, feet stayed blue & never went pink and she continued to try to cry. and apparently the nicu staff said that she wasn't breathing correctly on her own so they had to take her do to the nicu but olivia would be back. so we go on with the whole "finishing up" process and what felt like an eternity goes by, it was hours. olivia was born at 1.26p they took her away probably less than 5 minutes after that & about 2.30p or so we finally got news that olivia had to leave us & go to Children's Hospital immediately. one of the worst sentences that were said to us in the next 12 days. the poor woman told us about a million times what was wrong with olivia but all i heard was olivia needs to leave, she has a heart problem & i flashed back to when i was younger. my best friend/neighbor had a heart problem she had a HUGE scar on her chest, issues with her health all of the time, and had surgeries all the time & this was at age 8 so i was crushed. the nicu had to stabilize olivia and contact Children's, they promised that i would be able to see her before she left the building, yes i have yet to see her more than the moment of her leaving my womb. my beloved* got to go to the nicu to see olivia where they took some pictures of her for us, but because i was in "recovery" i couldn't move. and as much as we appreciate the pictures taken in the nicu at winchester they were the starriest pictures ever; olivia was in an incubator, hooked up to tubes/wires & looked so small. finally at around 6oop the nurse from nicu came into me & "prepped me" for my daughter's first visit; told me that she was coming in an incubator, she was hooked to tubes & moving very little (helped keep her comfortable with all the things going on) & there was a team of emergency guys from Children's, my beloved* got to go with them which i was SO thankful for. and olivia arrived! we were all instantly a mess, my little tiny peanut who had just been so snug & safe in my belly was in this huge incubator to help her breath! help her live! i was a mess. i am not a crier, softy, emotional, but this killed me. she wasn't there for more than 2 minutes if that & both her & my beloved* were off. luckily i had two aunts, an uncle, my mom, (my dad went with my beloved*), my best friend & a DEAR DEAR friend from work had just left (poor girl worked the overnight & spent all afternoon awaiting this little ladys' arrival) my fabulous nurse mary then tries to calm me, get me to realize i need to focus on me & my health, that my beloved* would take care of our little peanut & if i wanted to be discharged early to get to olivia i needed to focus, so i did. i was walking minutes later (not 2 or 3 minutes later), went to the bathroom (big step for those who don't know), & moved to the post-labor room. my aunt & mom stayed with me while i awaited my beloved*s phone call for information on olivia. finally about 1ooop my beloved* calls. olivia has congenital heart disease transposition of the greater arteries. yeah a lot of words meaning crap, i know. basically the two valves that bring oxygen into the heart we breathe in & turn it from blue (bad) to red ( good) were backwards so olivia was sending blue blood to her body & not red and she needed surgery to fix it! yeah. crushing. especially when my beloved* is in boston with our peanut & i am alone in winchester, miles away from them both. altho an hour later my beloved* walks in the door & sleeps with me, olivia was in another icu the fabulous man my beloved* is knew i wouldn't be able to handle this night alone came back. what seemed like the longest wait to be discharged i finally was about 2oop the next day (this is now wednesday the 25th, the day before thanksgiving).

we get to Children's, take the elevator to the 8th floor icu, walk down the hallway around the corner & to the end of the hallway my little peanut olivia is right there on the left. in a tiny bed with tubes, wires, iv's everywhere. i am told in more detail what is going on & that they plan on having the surgery on friday morning, at only three days old our lil peanut was going to have heart surgery to fix her valves to help her breathe & live a normal/fabulous life. wednesday & thursday all my beloved * & i did was sit by olivia's bed; our families did have us leave for about 2 hours on thanksgiving (thursday) but it was the worst thanksgiving ever. we walked into my beloved*s family house & i saw his sister/cousin i used to hang out with often & i was in tears, turned around & walked out of the house. after we composed ourselves we basically were furniture in the house the entire hour we were there. then onto my parent's house; my dad was already on his way to work, they had finished eating & had a gift for us. i am into precious moments & my parents/brother had gotten olivia a precious moments angel that says the "now i lay me down to sleep . . " prayer again a mess & in tears. of course that went right into olivia's bed once we got back to the hospital & hasn't left her bed since. thursday i don't think either one of us slept; we left olivia because our great nurse shauna had told us to go get some sleep at about 2ooam and went back about 5ooam to give olivia her first bath before surgery. that was so much fun and man did she hate it. the walk from olivia's room in icu to the area we say goodbye in the surgery area is the longest, most horrible, gut-wrenching, miserable walk ever. she went into surgery at 7ooam and we were told it was a 5-6 hour surgery. we had to wait in the waiting room for the surgeon about 15-20 minutes, thank god we did not wait there during the entire surgery because i would have died.

her surgery went perfect! the picture we have in our heads & actual photos from the day she came back from her surgery are scary & i never wish a parent has to see their child in that condition we will never be able to get out of our heads ever. but her recovery for the next 8 days went perfect. she was out of icu by monday, again surgery was friday morning. that we were told was absolutely amazing; all of the tubes came out fast (which is what they want), she was down off the oxygen pretty quickly, weaned down off her medicines, and was beginning to eat up a storm.

my beloved* & i went into the whole labor/delivery b!tching about the fact we may have been stuck in the hospital, on a regular recovery of labor stay, over thanksgiving we never imagined staying in one hospital for one night then another for another 11 days. this was by far the hardest, scariest, most miserable situation either one of us have ever have had to go thru & i personally feel that if i had to do it alone or with alone else i wouldn't have come out as i had (somewhat okay). it was the longest 12 days of my life. every night worrying if your child would be okay overnight while you tried to sleep, will this surgery go well, was it something i did that made this happen to her, the amount of questions/thoughts that go thru a womans' head after your typical delivery can sometimes be off but with all of this i swear at some points i thought i was having the worst dream ever & if not i was going to lose my sh!t.

but olivia came out of it on top, my beloved* & i did as well.

it was amazing to see how strong she is, all the kids we came in contact with are & the things they can recover from at such a small size/age.

thinking about the way everything was played out during this whole situation; the winchester hospital did a phenomenal job having the right people in line, the Children's did a, phenomenal doesn't seem like a justifiable word for it but, phenomenal job during her stay & all of the staff we came in contact with everywhere was amazing. i also feel the fact that i had been so determined to do the Children's Hospital walk the past five years despite being pregnant, the "family issues" that had arisen & stopped my walking buddies not go so i walked alone, supporting & raising money for the hospital was what i was meant to do. and i will continue to do until i can no longer walk & hope for more support this year. i will not only walk for hanah's hopefuls (my original reason to walk) but i will now walk for our olivia rose*

olivia rose*

olivia rose* is finally here. she arrived 11/24/2009 at 1.26pm and was 8 lbs 8 oz. i was told that being induced at 4.3oam and having her arrive only an hour & a half after they broke my water was great & i was very lucky. but man! i had some friends tell me horror stories to "prepare me" for labor but the horror stories didn't do it justice. but my beloved*s cousin did say this summer, once the baby has arrived pain has no memory & it's like nothing ever hurt, was sore or caused you any grief. we spent a little bit of a longer stay at the hospital but olivia rose* is perfect. she is healthy, happy, gorgeous & finally here with us in our arms. i apologize we were completely slacking we didn't take any pictures of olivia biscuits* & snugglebutt but he is coming over today & we will get on that asap. he did just what we thought he would (we surprised him) he came running into our bedroom & i was just finishing feeding her & snugglebutt froze! put his cheesy smile on his face & in a weird shy voice "that's my baby sister" and gave her a kiss! this kid is too cute, ah!

but here are just a few of the hundreds of pictures people (my father, papa!) have taken of her. more to come.

day no 4

so it is now the end of day number 4 of being overdue for our lil lady. the aches, pains & soreness is increasing which is a good sing but i am just ready to go & get this show on the road. the ultrasound went swimmingly; she is content, happy, has enough fluids, getting just what she needs from the umbilical-cord & we wait more. LoL altho our plan of action now is that if she is still stubborn over the weekend & we get to Sunday then we are heading on in to start the show. we also found out that she is about 8 lbs. apparently being in post-dates the numbers aren't very accurate but hey if the diameter of her head was correct then i am good to go. it was just about 9cm & i dilate to 10cm which is a perfect little squeeze. thank you for that lil lady. so that is where we are now, waiting some more. hopefully by monday/tuesday i can blog from the hospital giving you all kinds of details about our llil lady, her arrival & even pictures. ah! i can not wait.
happy friday night!

19th of november.

okay. so it is now the 19th of november, 3 days past our due date of the arrival of our lil lady olivia rose* aah! and i am beyond ready to go, well not really i am terrified to go thru the actual "beauty of life" but i am so ready for my lil lady to snuggle, hold, love, look at UH! i just can't wait to see her. we are officially ready! bassinet is finally set up (last piece of the puzzle), car-seat has been installed, changing table is up & ready, crib has been set up for weeks, she has her cute girlie stickers on her wall, and snugglebutt is now telling us it's time (before it was too early! LoL) everything is in it's place & waiting to be used. we have picked out her "coming home outfit" which is the cutest, pale pink outfit. it came in this gorgeous box it's the buttoned shirt, pale pink pants, cute pale pink hat, white mittens, then we also have her handmade harrington blanket, her cute pale pink snowsuit that has ears on the hood & we are just so excited. paperwork is filled out for pre-registration for the hospital stay, boppy pillow is right next to the bags (was told that it is a must have in the hospital) we are just ready lil lady so come on.

but we are off this morning to see the doctor for the third time in a week. we also are going for an ultrasound to make sure she is still content, because that fabulous stress test told us that she was just a happy lil peach in there with no want at all to come out. so maybe all the pains i had the other night & the sudden urge to clean/organize/prep for her arrival have meant something & we have made some progress. until next time bloggers! hopefully it'll be all about our precious lil lady.

happy thursday!

the day has come & gone

so today i am sitting comfy in my big bed with my down comforter, body pillow, Roscoe teddy bear, and fluffy green blanket in my bedroom of my great new apartment with my beloved* blogging about how today is the due date of our lil miss olivia rose*s arrival. yup! went for a stress test & checkup. we got nothing! nothing! no chance in dilation, no contractions being monitored & she is just a happy little peach in my oversized, over-stretched belly. yay* we now have another appointment on thursday for an ultrasound to see what she's doing in there; making sure she isn't cramped, is facing the correct way (i personally don't think she is but i have been reassured numerous times she is), and then to discuss our plan of action with the doctor. my beloved* & i are hoping for asap. maybe getting her out thursday or friday, but we'll go as late as monday. apparently we have to check into the doctor's & hospital's schedules, cross your fingers really on thursday for us. she's coming, she is just taking her precious time. but as one of my beloved*s friends said i should enjoy the last few days of pampering while i have them. and man am i. my beloved* is amazing (i of course have to do some stuff or i'll just go nuts) but he brings in the groceries, went thru/moved boxes, we are getting our brand new dryer soon!, he scrubbed our tub so i could take a warm bubble bath, he even rubbed my feet during the stress test! and he hates feet, and my feet are pretty yes but they are swollen to a point where it's like 'who's feet are those hanging off the table? not mine no way.' so that's pretty much where we are, just hanging around waiting for something to begin, if not things will begin whether she likes it or not. LoL and our snugglebutt is wicked excited! unfortunately he can not come visit us in the hospital due to the h1n1 outbreak this fall but he will still be absolutely adorable to watch when he first lays his big brown handsome eyes on her & gets to snuggle her. he wants to hug & kiss her he tells us all the time. he'll kiss or rub the belly and says 'i do it this way until she comes, i can't wait until she comes' and smiles! cutest kid ever!

well fellow bloggers. i am off; maybe rocking in my chair, walking around the apartment, or yet another warm bath will set her off tonight we'll see. happy monday! almost tuesday.

who knew.

today we have our weekly checkup. so i am sitting here awaiting the clock to hit the hour we need to leave the house & head on out, for some reason i want to bring all of our belongings with us LoL idk why but you never know. but i am dying of anticipation of olivia rose*s arrival. at the beginning of the pregnancy i was terrified; of it all, the epidural, the pain to the actual labor, being someone's mother! just the entire concept of it all, i wasn't very sure on whether or not i wanted it all. but here we are! and i am so excited. i am excited to finally have this buddha belly over-with LoL, meet our lil miss olivia rose*, move on from just the boring routine of where we were, and to honestly start a family with my beloved*. i wasn't sure i wanted it but seeing him with his mini me, snugglebutt i am always just put back a little & just stunned at how amazingly patience he is. how much a phenomenal man he is as well, couldn't have had this "accident" happen with anyone better or at the fact that he wants me back as much as i do. =) gasp. i am getting all emotional.

but enough of that mushy stuff, we are off to check on our little girls progress hopefully we have made a good amount & are moving onto the next step. until next one fellow bloggers. happy thursday!

happy veteran's day.

first & foremost HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

i would like to thank all who are serving, have served, will serve, gave their lives, gave their loved ones, in order to make this country what it is today without those men/women who knows where we would be as a nation. Horrible things have happened to this country & we have prospered time & time again due to these brave men/women altho times are though & we feel as though things are horrible these men/women believe in something we do not see everyday due to the media, government & politics as long as those men/women believe & feel things are worth salvaging we need to support & back them up to the fullest, regardless of our own views.
so thank you to our bravest men/women of our beautiful nation.

poor news from last nights tour. tours are cancelled indefinitely due to the flu & swine flu outbreak (which i am okay with because i will be there in a week or two) found out that children under the age of 18 are not permitted to visit people in the hospital, we are only allowed 2 healthy visitors at a time, and all the pregnant women were pressured to receive the h1n1 flu shot. blah! so as soon as i walked in they tell me "hey no tour, no kids & get that damn shot" i was a little overwhelmed with emotions & literally had to hold back the tears. LoL damn pregnancy has made me so emotional LoL hate it. so we did get a lot of information about the hospital, the h1n1 flu vaccine they want me to get & it's free!, my questions answered but the whole visiting situation still has me a little upset but what am i to do.

the contractions, back pain & pretty much point of no return ready for this baby out of me has hit me. and i am SO beyond ready for this baby to come out LoL but we will continue our wait game & be patience LoL we have a new task at hand, how to tell our snugglebutt who has been so excited/nervous on how he's getting to the hospital that he can not come. ugh! this poor lil man has been so thrilled to meet his lil sister this is going to hurt.

a tour of all tours.

well today we go on a tour of the maternity ward where we will be welcoming lil miss olivia rose* into our world. i am so excited! i honestly am hoping maybe, just maybe my water will break while we are there. LoL that'd be too easy right, already in the maternity ward with my 2 coaches & my water breaks. LoL wishful thinking. but still i am wicked excited to see the nursery, maybe see some lil peanuts, see my room where i will be spending two long days, maybe more. and my beloved* is highly concerned with the cafeteria food LoL my man loves to eat. altho i have a feeling if we ask anyone to bring us up some food they'd do it in a second for us.

not much else going on. had a few "real contractions" yesterday/last night hoping it continues & pickups but we'll see. we are trying everything to induce labor but it seems she may really be our baby; on time - she's me, late - she's my beloved*, altho i usually am early by 15 minutes, i was taught on time you're late & early you're on time. LoL but we'll see what this little lady thinks.

we had our snugglebutt yesterday and he says to me 'yeah know jen thanksgiving is soon & santa will come too, you said olivia will be here before thanksgiving" he is absolutely adorable, so concerned with her arrival & he also got extremely nervous about how he was getting to the hospital, with all of the people in our families i told him he has no need to worry he will be there. he also told me "my olivia biscuits rose* will beautiful like jen" gasp! kid is a killer.

but that is all for today. very exciting evening coming up, gotta go prepare. you never know what the night may entail.

week 39.

so we are now at week 39. 1 more "scheduled" week to go. oh man! am i ready. my mother just got a crib from my aunt yesterday so she says she is ready too so now olivia rose* can really come LoL but i've been ready for weeks. but i am at a point where i am kind of waiting to hear about my dear friend julie's baby isabella, she is having surgery & it is being scheduled this week so i want to be mobile & able to get to my dear friend julie. her 7 week old (tomorrow!) baby is the cutest lil lady in the world & i love them both so dearly that i want to just be there & hold her hand. sigh. the things that go on man, mind-blowing.

well we had a very "interesting" to say the least weekend this weekend. saw both (immediate) families yesterday, snagged a bunch! of really yummy food from both houses & snugglebutt saw his cousins, grandparents & aunts. so continuing the waiting game we will do, happy monday!

sitting.waiting.wishing.

so we are still in week 38. went to our weekly checkup & have made no progress in the moving closed to lil miss olivia rose*s arrival. but hey! they say you can be 1 centimeter dilated for weeks & then bam! all of a sudden drop & have your water break so who knows. i can say that my braxton hicks "practice contractions" are getting more intense on me & she is sitting her lil butt right on my liver/ribs, very uncomfortable so whenever she is ready let's do this. i have two friends of mine; kaiti & ryan, that i can text/call for any gruesome, detailed, icky questions about the pregnancy, they love it i swear! so i send them a text this afternoon & they wig out on me; what are are you saying, what's going on. omg! ladies relax! it's just a question LoL.

i guess i don't have much to say other than i am ready! LoL altho at the same time i am still afraid/nervous of the unknown. my beloved* & i both feel that if i need to go in after being 7 days late & be scheduled to be induced then that may make me more comfortable. LoL i have issues with lining up all my belongings, making a list & checking it 4 times to make sure that i have everything plus! i will have more of a chance to get my big booty in the whirlpool tub if things are in a slow escalation.

well i guess that is all for the night fellow bloggers. we are just sitting here playing the waiting game now. happy saturday!

week 38.

so today we are heading to the doctor's office for our weekly checkup today, we are exactly 38 weeks & 3 days today. and honestly when every woman told me that the last month is the worst i know believe them! LoL i was told the entire pregnancy 'oh this will be bad, oh this was bad for me, i heard this, blah blah blah' i honestly (( thank goodness )) had a great pregnancy up to like 2-3 weeks ago! this lil lady has lodged either her butt or legs in my right ribs & oh man is it sore, painful & seriously uncomfortable! we were a centimeter dilated last week when we went for our checkup, but for those who have been pregnant or with someone who was pregnant knows that i could be a centimeter dilated the entire last month & even the extra week. so i am hoping that we are a little further along.
guesses have begun to come in as to when this lil lady will come into our world. my dad personally feels, since all the men on both sides of the family are huge Patriots/football fans & we had a by-week last week she'll come Sunday. LoL i also have the Monday the 9th, 10th 14th, 16th (our due date) & then also have the 20th. they say ( doctor's, experts, etc ) that women are usually late with their first baby & not typically early. i personally feel i have been the "text-book pregnancy" with a lot so i feel i will be late! fantastic right. as long as she comes healthy & i come thru healthy that's all that matters to us.

happy thursday bloggers & happy NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo

WoW. I have been on here a year now. What a year man; lots of stuff has happened, changed & moved away. I personally would like to make the attempt to do the NaBloPoMo challenge again this year but I know that won't happen. Being pregnant I have already forgotten about it & missed day 1 and will have at least 1-3 days I will not be worried about where the computer/blogging world stands due to the fact I'm having my own lil peanut coming this month. And then we come home, we have snugglebutt, Thanksgiving this month will mark a huge change for us & all of us could not be more excited about it. I personally love how snugglebutt keeps saying "my baby this, my baby that" I called him out the other day & said okay so since Olivia is "our" baby then you are on diaper duty. He had a big ol' smirk on his face & said nooo! Didn't think it would fly; but he does wanted part of the tubby time, snuggles, kisses & he can't wait to hold her! He is so cute. But back to the topic, I would like to wish the rest of the blogging world luck on NaBloPoMo! Happy blogging! Happy Fall!

happy halloween

happy halloween everyone!

hope everyone has a safe & fun-filled halloween today. we will be carving pumpkins, baking cookies/brownies, & of course trick-o-treating. yay*

week 37.

delayed pictures here. a few from Aidan's birthday party (poor guy felt awful that day so there are not many) & some from the Halloween Parade we went to yesterday.





well today marks the three week countdown. we have only 21 days until our lil miss olivia rose* graces us with her presence. the three of us could not be more excited for her arrival. hopefully she is not late because i for one am ready for this giant belly to be done with & we are just about done with the what is she gonna look like, will she have my attitude or yours, hopefully she makes silly faces like i do. we wanna actually see this stuff going on! arh! but this past weekend we went to a Halloween Parade and watching Aidan be as excited as he was with when the Star Wars guys walked by made my entire week! not only did he do his loud screeching like a girl scream but he was jumping, hitting my brother (who he adores when he is around) & just thrilled. then! my dad being the guy he is grabbed Aidan's hand & ran over to get a picture that made his entire week it seemed. uh! LOL it was a great day all over yesterday; good weather, good friends, lots of excitement. now this week is exciting for Aidan as well; he has Halloween which he loves, we are going to do pumpkins this week & he has the wedding of his mom & Jeff which he has been raving about for weeks now. so this lil man will be on a serious energy rush this week so it may kick my butt, i hopefully be back soon & will def be back for more info on what's up with our lil peanut.

countdown begins.

so today will mark the 9th month of my pregnancy & also begins the count down begins until Olivia Rose*s arrival, 30 days and counting. i am officially out of work beginning today due to a number of circumstances. people keep telling me that the last 4 weeks are the longest (feeling) and now that i am out of work, oh man! i am already crazii anxious for her arrival & now that my daily hussle&bussle is at a stand still what am i to do? well today we had snugglebutt so i brought him to school & actually gotta get my butt moving to go pick him up & will be hanging with the fellas all day. i am at a point in the pregnancy where things are just uncomfortable. sitting, standing, walking (sometimes) things are getting tight on us LoL. but our lil lady will be here soon & we can not wait for her arrival.

that would be it for today, expect more posts coming in the near future, again my normal hussle&bussle being demolished i will have more time on my hands to "relax" and "hang out" as my beloved* calls it. so expect more blogs about nothingness & question/answer. happy monday fellow bloggers*

happy october blogging world.
i have yet to say that and it's now the 15th day of the month, shame on me. but in my defense i am pregnant, working full time, cleaning up a move & preparing a room for my lil lady. things have been hectic non the less. our shower was amazing! we had over 100 people there, way more gifts people who couldn't make it sent gifts with others that did make it & we have texts, emails & calls of attempts to set up meetings to receive more gifts! this lil lady is not only 1. spoiled already but 2. has everything off of her registry which is fabulous for me & my beloved* for we don't need to purchase anything (well for now; diapers, wipes, etc will need to be bought quiet often) but we feel so blessed & amazed at the fact at the number of people who came, sent things or have just supported us! thank you*

the snazzy new place is just that, new & snazzy. LoL we have about 3 boxes total! left to unpack which i feel is an amazing accomplishment seeing as how we are both working 40+ hours, i'm pregnant, we try & socialize when we can & have snugglebutt usually on the weekends. so our time to unpack, organize or even just sit & relax together has been seriously limited. LoL it's not fun now but once i am off of work & our lil lady is here things will be fabulous regardless of what this place looks like. our lil lady's room is 99.9% ready to go & i have to pack my "overnight bag" so things are looking just perfect.

snugglebutt is doing great! his grampi was sick for a bit but he is doing much better & that makes him much happier. he is back in school & loving it, he's in the "big kids class" the afternoon session of pre-k & loves it. he comes over with stories upon stories of his & his friend tylers' adventures, LoL some of them are really entertaining. his story telling skills are really advancing, which could be a bad thing in disguise. LoL but we have just a lil over 2 weeks until halloween which snugglebutt loves, stems from the love his mother carries for the holiday. and she is marrying her fiance on that date so snugglebutt has a very big halloween this year which he is very excited for. he will spend the early portion of the day with them, watching his mom & his jeff (which he adores) get married then he'll come hang with us & go trick or treating. he seemed a lil bummed with me when i didn't dress as humpty dumpty for his halloween beeday party so i am feeling like i should make it up to him then. and then halloween passes & we rest & wait, olivia rose* should be here by the 16th of november they say but we'll see.

hopefully the work load will be done soon, it is too much for me lately. being under staffed, over worked & pregnant is really starting to get to me so it should be over soon & then i can relax watch olivia do her bogeying & wait for her arrival. until next time fellow bloggers enjoy this crisp cold weather here in the boston area. somehow we managed to go from spring to a wet-cold summer, to a week of fall & then finally bam! winter's here. fabulous! welcome to new england right. night*

week 34.

so i have not updated the blogging world on our lives in a good amount of time, things are insane & once i get myself to sit down & tell you what's going on you'll understand. unfortunately tonight is not that time but rather a questionnaire. ladies! i am getting closer & closer to baby peanut olivia rose*'s arrival & i am getting seriously nervous. these braxton hicks can not be anywhere near what the real contractions are like so i am asking everyone i know the same questions. did you have a natural birth? did you have an epidural? if you had scheduled a c-section or being induced how did that go? i just have so many questions. what did you feel when your labor began? what should i look for? ugh, the questions upon questions i have. and when you ask your doctor, friends, whomever they all tell you their stories but end with "every woman is different" yes, this i know but i figured if i ask a number of women & get a number of different responses i can get a sense of it all. thanks ladies if you feel to share.

stop with the looks.

things have been busy! as of monday there will be a 5 yr old running around the house & an eight month old cooking in the belly. aidan is very excited that his baby sister, olivia rose* has been decided as her name, will have the same "birthday" as him. so with the move, getting bigger & getting tired easier, having aidan's energy growing, a man to love & spend time with, plus family friends & work it's been busy!

the move went swimmingly. i couldn't have asked for things to go much quicker or easier for us. seeing as how we didn't pack until the morning of, minus four boxes of dvd's we had to start from scratch the morning of after which being at a concert in the rain the night before & my cold being at it's worst! ha. but things went amazingly. my lil brother & his two friends were great help! brought up my dad's big work truck & with the three of them, my beloved* & uncle gee things got done fast! plus my mom & i made sure boxes were semi organized so the guys just left them in a room & we unloaded. and a week later it's a new big fantastic apartment. of course there are a few boxes in the living room & some small stuff still at the old place but for a pregnant lady & a pair of overnight fellas i think things went as perfect as possible! yay.

this past week has been rough. two huge blows of bad news, training & stress at work, a newbie quitting on us at pretty much last minute & screwing over two of my favorites at work rough isn't an accurate word choice for it but that's what we will go with. so we focus on the good per my mother. our shower for olivia rose* or as aidan wants to call her, his olivia biscuits* in a week, aidan's turning 5 monday morning & we have his big spooky halloween costume beeday party to prepare for on sunday. so we are keeping my busy, but as my beloved* says not too busy i'll take breaks to keep my mind busy. and my mom keeps on sending tidbits of funny little glimpses of info from our shower, it's a surprise so we know nothing!

but my question for this blog is . .why do people feel the need to stare at pregnant woman? i understand some stare or as the woman from chili's today shouts out 'you have the cutest pregnant belly, i just had to tell you i'm so sorry but you look absolutely adorable' but some people stare! that stare of 'oh my gosh (cause they don't use the lords name in vain) this little single girl is pregnant that is just gasp!' first of all. i'm "technically" single yes but i have the most amazing man & 5 yr old here with me to help raise her, my fabulous family/friends & my beloveds* family is always a text/call away for me but no i am not married so what. i am tired of hearing people say 'so you're gonna get married now right' why? the statistics of marriage are so low, not knocking it at all, but it's a fact people do it just to either to do it or do it too fast but feel it really is meant to be. i don't want the big d on my record personally. i feel that if i want to marry someone i don't need to rush, if he's in it for the long haul & we both want the marriage thing then why do we need to run down the alter now we'll still be there in 5 yrs or whatever, am i right? i think so. and i may look young but i am 24 yrs old, yes i am still a baby in certain people's eyes but i have also gone to college, graduated, worked a number of jobs & figured out where i like to work, and have done the out all night/every night thing & i am at a place in my life where i feel i am as ready as i'll ever be to do this. it happened, unplanned but it did & we are ready as a team to do this. so please. stop making those faces of judgement towards pregnant women even if i was a 16 yr old single lady who wasn't ready & completely unsure of the pregnancy you think those looks are going to help any? that 16 yr old could do just as good of a job as anyone else given the right mind set & those looks won't help any.
i guess that is all for the night. aidan will be up at a normal hour & he's gotta get ready for his first big 5th beeday bash he has with his mom this weekend. good night bloggers*

busy bee

okay! so i am not sure why but i have been seriously slacking on my blog lately & it seems a lot of others have too, boo! but i am here today to do an update of what is going on & then i will be probably be gone until next week. we have a busy! week ahead of us. i have to co-facilitate training classes at work, also work!, set up cable at the new place, pack/organize/clean, move & my beloved* & i are going to see kings of leon!! which i am so stoked about.
but! the last week or so we have had my mom's beeday which rocked, my parents love aidan! aidan loves my family things just clicked when i walked into this lil man's life, the worries of "will this lil man welcome me & my family", "will things be weird as to will he be confused as to who's who & will we fit into each other's personalities" but everything just clicked into place. rockin! so yesterday we went to my parents; my aunt/her husband were there, my dear friend val/her husband, my brother, dad, brother's friends who are like step-children, shannon/lil miss rileigh marie* it was a grand old time. there also was a lot of stuff there for peanut! my parents' friends have been giving us hand-me-downs which seem to be brand new! for us. we got wicked cute clothes, snowsuits, a swing, bassinet, chair & my parents got us our carriage! things are getting wicked exciting! so aidan had a blast as well; he loves hanging with rii* i am not sure if it;s the being older, smarter, wiser thing but he holds her hand & guides her from the house to the park, shows her how to do stuff but they love hanging out with each other. and my brother/father are big goofs with aidan; wrestling, running around & my brothers' friends being there made it that much more fun for him cause they were just as crazii. so yesterday rocked!
moving further back into last week, we had a checkup & blood-test with the doctor for peanut. the blood-work was for the sugar test to make sure my sugar levels are right where they should be, a little nervous but not really been feeling fine things have been right on track & i don't eat crazii amounts of sugar or items with lots of sugar so i think we're good. i am right on track with my weight gain, blood pressure & cervix/uterus sizing. altho my back/feet discomfort are starting to get to me everything else is just superb!
now! this week is looking just as nutty. we are moving! yay. bigger, nicer, more fabulous place next weekend & we have yet to begin to pack, organize or clean! haha. it's been a busy time for us. we did tho purchase a few new things we needed; dvd case, trash can, strainer, shower curtain, cleaning products nothing huge but lil things we need. so we have a lot to do! yet at the same time my beloved* tells me 'don't worry babe i have moved so many times i'm a pro we'll have it done in no time' okay! babe whatever you say. saturday we will be doing cleaning & packing; aidan will be doing his room. we didn't see it fit to just move his stuff & have this huge change without him knowing or being involved. so last night we brought him there to see it along with my parents & it has been aidan approved! he loved it, he kept asking my parents 'come on let me show you around' LoL kid is too cute. he is going to set up his room; we plan on doing his room super heros; star wars, transformers, gi joe, & of course spongebob! and his sisters' room will be "angelica" a theme we got from babiesrus so he is wicked excited to help set up her room too. he said 'we need to make sure that things are safe for her' i love how he's so protective before she's even here. then sunday! is the big move; all of the furniture, boxes for us & the living room/kitchen, washing machine & dryer & getting everything in it's place. i have a feeling it won't be as bad as i'm anticipating it to be but i always see the worst. LoL
but! friday night before all of this takes place my beloved* & i are giving ourselves a night for us. this saturday was the first saturday we didn't have lil snugglebutt in a long time & instead of doing date night (which we haven't seen in a while either) we got things ready for the new place LoL so friday night we are going down to mansfield to see kings of leon!! woohoo. i am so excited. my beloved* has seen them before but didn't realize who they were at the time so we are both wicked excited for this. we are also spending the night at a hotel & just relaxing before things begin. because this weekend sets off the rest of the month. the weekend after this one we have aidan's 5th beeday party, the weekend after that is peanuts shower (but ssh! it's a surprise) LoL & then october begins. so aidan's mom has a lot (i'm assuming) last minute details to her wedding!! so we may have snugglebutt a lot, which is cool cause he can help with the last minute stuff for peanut's arrival. we also have snugglebutt for halloween this year which i am really excited about! i love trick or treating! then november hits & peanuts' arrival will come at any time. woah. this has been one busy year & it's def going to end on that same note.

but there is my update a lot going on everywhere; work, home, play, just insanity! happy monday & happy september.

7 day stretch

so today will be my favorite monday in a long time! it is my last night of this busy! 7 day work week stretch! phew. exhausting. the hotel has been insanely busy which is great but working all weekend, all nights & 7 of them in a row is tiring especially being 7 months pregnant! today. yay* so i am eagerly awaiting the clock to say 11.01pm so i can run out the door, drive home & put my feet up for an entire day! LoL altho i probably won't the move now begins. the meeting with the new landlord is this week; papers are to be signed, keys to be given, numbers to be exchanged & then the fun! of packing, cleaning & moving. our offical "move day", i love having desginated move days, isn't until the 12/13 but we will be slowly moving things over to the new place. yay! i can not wait. but i will be blogging, maybe tomorrow!? in details about things that have been going on, a few exciting things. today is just a "gotta make it thru this day" day! ciao*

lazii monday.

so it's monday & it's my one day off this week. ah! god help me, LoL but with the move, aidan's beeday, peanut's arrival & just the overall expenses of life the OT will be just right. =) so! today we did a bunch of errands; food shopping, cleaning, laundry, sat around a lot, we also did a lunch date!! which i have longed for for so long. just us time, to sit talk, enjoy each other because we do thoroughly enjoy each other. so was very excited to have that time today. we seem to enjoy chores together too; so sitting sorting laundry, putting groceries away is us time as well, so the entire day was us! it was just perfect & what i needed to get out of my rut i was in last week; of work, sleep, work, sleep, maybe a visit to a friend and doing the routine all over again this week ALL week.

i am not sure what the point of today's post is but i am enjoying the down time. =) because things are going to be getting rather crazii in our little household very soon. also! i want to send hugs, kisses & love to my dear friend jayme, she is having a minor surgery this week & rather nervous. everything will be a-okay jayme!! they don't want to deal with an over worked/stressed, hot, pregnant woman if they're not LoL also lots of love & prays to baby sabrina. 6 weeks old & rather sick; hugs, kisses & loves to her things are tough but will be better soon little baby sabrina*

lazii sunday.

so i am working on this lazii sunday, boo! def wishing i was home relaxing, this week is about to be a very long week working 6 days beginning tuesday right after this 5 day stretch, ouch! but i have nothing really to moan/complain, or rant about tonight so i just snagged some of my favorite post secrets i saw today. happy sunday!

moving on up.

WE GOT OUR APARTMENT! we couldn't be more excited. it is on the east side of the city we are in now, i hear it's the best school district in the area & it's big enough for everyone! it's a first floor, three bedroom, spacious living room, kitchen, big GRASS backyard, 2 car driveway & just gorgeous! i could not be any more happier right now. they even haggled the price down a bit for us! oh man. this woman (the owner of the house) wants me to love her for the rest of my life. because at this rate i am going to. the neighborhood is amazing, everyone has driveways, their yards are green, their are toys for kids in the driveways or yards! it is the steriotypical suburb & i love it.

we are going to take the month of sept to slowly move things over & get situated but we are planning on one weekend (first or second) in sept to really move everything over. just because snugglebutt's beeday is the third weekend & we want to focus all of our attention on him turning the big 5 rather than moving. YAY!!! today is a great day for us.

MOVING ON UP! TO THE EAST. TO A DELUXE APARTMENT IN THE SKY.

should i stay or should i go?

so in regards to the other days post, the angry unhappy one about co-workers, YEAH! that one. LoL the meeting we had about everything going on in the building, we are currently undergoing a management change, our property was bought out. which i haven't figured out is a good/bad thing, obvious with people running the show there are issues no person is perfect we all have them & then of course being human we are not perfect which means we clash! and there's so many people all over the place that we clash with a lot of people over a lof of stuff. now i am not sure if these things are typical for every woman that has been pregnant but i am in a slumb. the job is wonderful on most days but then you clump together 3 or 4 really bad days in a short period of time it is draining on any person, now being pregnant i have become more emtional, touchy, & just really senisitve (things i never was before) so arguing with people sometimes gets me exra flustered, emotional & drained all at once. so this meeting we had i was so excited when someone else brought up a certain department where most of our issues are coming from. being at the front desk we have our hands in every department, we are the front line people see, talk & have contact with us 24 hours a day. so we need to take what is said to us back to the appropriate department that issue, comment or feedback is really for. sometimes that hits a nerve & people get mad, or people don't understand 1. why the issue came to me at the desk rather than directly to whomever it really belongs to or 2. understand why things didn't go exactly as we (the front desk staff) was told (being a live job; people walk in & out, we have drivers picking up so things can go differently than planned there), or 3. just don't like the way we look! HA! that last one is my favorite. this job supplies us with a uniform, how do i not look appropriate or professional rather we get called "hoodlums" HA! but dealing with these issues, angry guests (when i saw angry i mean people screaming!! at you on the phone, in person, really NASTY people) and then angry co-workers is kicking my ace. i understand we are here to provide a certain service & when not given that service people get upset, but where do you get the nerve to treat another human being in that manner? it's embarrassing & your significant other stands there & just makes faces?! wtf. where did you people just come from. jackace land? blah. so all of this is draining me in every aspect. my body is drained by the end of the day (more than i feel it should be), i am emotionally drained & just ready to curl up in bed & sit in the dark, and i find my back, shoulders, neck seriously bother me (for that is where the stress lies) now my back has been bothering me a lot since i've gained a few LBs, i pulled my back out twice in my life so far, my left knee has been blown out once before so that as well is bothering me & my feet/heals are just throbbing by the end of the day so i was hoping to work up until the day peanut arrives but now with all of this stress & discomfort i am highly contemplating leaving work beforehand. so i guess i am looking for advice. i know every woman is different, completely different situation. but i am looking for input; when did you go on maternity leave? did you get a "bed-rest" diagnosis from your doctor? did you end up taking a lot of time off after your peanut arrived? i am just so stressed about this one place, work! the move isn't bothering me, money issues (we all have them), everyday life, it's work. the one extreme stress i have is work. i've been reading they say "normal stress levels" well i remember what my normal stress levels are but being pregnant everything is amp'd up 10 fold & the building has been a lot crazier due to all the changes. so i am not at my normal stress levels at all!

i guess that is all for the day fellow bloggers. pleas moms help me out with just soem advice & your personal experiences if you don't mind. i am stuck & don't know which way to turn, i am actually looking forward to my next doctors appt to talk to her about all of it, even tho i have MORE blood-work going on.ciao!

please take a moment . .

. . for the birth, life & death of WBCN 104.1 fm here in the boston area. for today was the first offical day that it is no longer with us. 40 long years of laughter, enjoyment, great DJs, great interviews, concerts, just overall greatness has passed away.

to WBCN & all of their fabulous staff they've had over the years. i will no longer be listening to radio anymore due to this tragedy. hello mr iPod adaptor i know i have delayed our meeting but today my radio has died on me & doesn't seem to be coming back.

[ sigh ]

business casual as usual.

so it's only wednesday of this long, painful, just people are rude/cruel/evil/all of the above week for me and i am already highly frustrated with the way things run at my job. i've worked one day, yesterday!! unreal. i love my job, please don't get the idea i hate my job. i love it. they send me around the country to train to become a better manager, i work with some great people on my staff, i meet rockin people from around the world & the regulars we have come in are just awesome people. i want to say it's some of my co-workers i don't particularly agree with their professional style & the way things are executed in the building. so! i work in a hotel, a rather known name at the airport of a large city. so you can imagine business (even in this economy) is somehow booming. things will never go perfectly anywhere people are! it's just the way it works, you can't please everyone all of the time. i've come to terms with that a long time ago, being in customer service pretty much my entire working career. but for customers/guests it's absolutely fine (well not fine but expected) of them to b!tch, moan, complain about they were not provided the service they paid or expected from us. i completely agree. if i go out & by a pink lipstick get home & it's 1. orange, 2. isn't lipstick or 3. was highly over priced for the fact that it isn't even what it was advertised to be i'm going back & someone's hearing my frustration. but i honestly, no matter where i personally go; a restaurant, stores, hotels, where-ever never try to take it out on the person standing in front of me representing the name. 1. they may not, actually probably are not the person that i encountered originally, 2. don't put up the ads or choice the wordage for the advertisement & 3. they are just like me, working for the weekend/paycheck & to get thru this "american way" so when people go to the extreme levels they do as to; call us morons, idiots, or even cuss-words, scream at us in front of others & belittle us s if we were dirt. i don't get too emotional or take it too personally, they're mad & they just want it fixed. but! when i am at my job trying my best to make sure the day goes smoothly from; picking guests up at the airport, tracking flights to make sure ViPs are taken cared of, directing the housekeeping night staff, checking in/out guests, and running my own stuff THEN! helping out different departments with paperwork & little projects they may not be able to figure out or get to at that time i really do not appreciate having the people i help everyday yell, scream, or stick their pudgy little finger in my face as though i was their child/pet! a human to human interaction especially with someone who 1. helps you everyday with a ton of stuff & 2. is a god damn human being who you know is screamed at by guests all the time should not be one you would have with your kid or an animal at home! seriously. that is where i draw the line. i completely understand we're all human we will lose our cool sometimes but these particular few people do it way too often & way too extremely. i am not a "manager" and guests hate it when at night they are looking for a manager & they get me, an "assistant manager" seriously doesn't fly with the one little word in there! and i believe the other managers of other departments in the building feel the same. when i bust my ace & do my usual great work for them it's yeah okay jen did her job! ah no! i helped you out & did a great job doing that, you're welcome. but when i try to help & things don't go exactly as planned; not badly, or messed up just not exactly how that person wanted it. all hell breaks loose! the yelling begins, screaming, finger pointing, name calling, be-littling of me. it's just absolutely fabulous. and all of this is done right where they find me, usually at my front desk in the lobby of a hotel with my staff i am currently working with at the time! yup. i'm the person that doesn't listen to direction, can't follow orders, messes everything up & just overall suck! and being coached by my boss so i can step up to the next position i need to work on my stern-ness & authority but with things like this occurring & my staff witnessing all of this how are they ever going to take me seriously? guests don't, other managers don't i'm just "an ass man" yup. blah!

sorry about the sad, down & just overall dragging blog today but i am highly frustrated at this point. any woman who has been pregnant knows how frustrating it can be to work full time (especially being on my feet 8 hours at a time), be pregnant! deal with grumpy people & just overall daily crap chutes thrown at you. it's can get to a gal. and normally i'd mention something to my boss & wait to see if things change, they never do but right now i am 25 weeks pregnant, tired all the time & doing the best i can to still keep up with what i used to slam out at work. but with no HR department in the building to help regulate this crap & help out frustrated workers i am getting to my wits end with this business. 1. it shouldn't even be occurring at all, people should not be allowed to treat people in these manners, 2. shouldn't be done in front of another person's staff & 3. just shouldn't be done in the manner it is conducted in at all! blah. and what really frustrates me about all of this, why all of this takes place if another person in another department even says ONE WORD literally that doesn't seem "professional" towards their superior, for an example the word "yup" all hell breaks loose & a sit-down needs to take place ASAP & needs to be handled, HA!! god love the working environment, it can be so entertaining sometimes.

well that is all for today fellow bloggers. again sorry for the mopey, depressing blog today but i am just exhausted in all forms of the word today with everything that is occurring around me. people are so frustrating! happy hump day

two things off the anxiety list.

well hello bloggers. happy wednesday the work-week has half come & gone! yay. i personally am starting to feel a lot more at ease with everything i know that will change the second the moving begins! moving is a stress-factory all on its on, but! it good moving news my beloveds* cousin Gee, whom i have adored since i was in high school apparently has connections even he didn't know about! his mom, again who i have known since middle school! has a friend with a three bedroom two floor apartment in our price range just a few minutes drive from where we are now, SUPER YAY! and of course because Gee is involved & how everyone he meets love him (he is just an amazing guy) they want to help us & said if we want it, it's ours! SUPER-DUPER YAY! yes i said super-duper, get over it it calls for a super-duper here!
the new suv i have is officially on the road & ready for it's for long ride down the cape this weekend?! has power everything, ac (which is my main love with it), extremely spacious for our snugglebutt & peanut coming, grocery or stroller space it is just perfect for where we are right now. it'll be great in the move too! so there's that off my list!

my best friend from middle school, valerie (who just got married in vegas, who is peanuts godmother) is planning the baby shower with my mom. it began as a surprise but my beloved* & i were not feeling walking into somewhere & being surprised & then doing the hours of the actual shower so we know when it is & where it is, which we are happy about. aidan is super excited to get his little baby sister new toys (he is already worried about her christmas list) & making sure she is safe with them, no small pieces he tells us! LoL this child is phenomenal with the whole concept of having a little sister, he loves it. he has two of her ultra-sound pictures on his wall, he tells us 'so he can look at her beautiful face everyday' (i personally think the pictures are eek! but hey man you love your sister to the fullest) that whole concept i was worried about for some crazii reason is way over & done with. two things checked off my anxiety list! but back to the shower! they are planning so much & of course my mom can not keep a secret from me for the life of her, she calls everyday with a new 'well you don't know this but' and i laugh because i am like mom just don't have anyone wrap their gifts we'll just pass out thank you's at the shower because i'll know what every person bought us! LoL but! they call/message me yesterday (perfect day to give me that pick up) my friend valerie, knows me so well!! she has been my dearest friend since the day i met her, she has been by my side entire weekends when bad things have happened in my family, she is the first one to support my crazii sometimes unrealistic ideas, she talked me out of dropping out of college (bad thanksgiving break lots of sadness at home i wanted to be there with my family) she is just amazing & knows me better than anyone else. so!! she messages me last night, your mom just told me you wanted diaper cake & she told you no guess what! i already ordered you one! SCORE! then she knows me oh so well, she ordered a sash & tiara for me to wear, i always say 'oh no i don't want that' but she knows! this is why she is my godmother, knock on wood if she needs to go into the full swing role of a godmother (something happens to me/my beloved* & she needs to take the baby she would raise her as i would) plus! she loves kids so i can send peanut to her house anytime i want! =) yay. so that was a great pick me up yesterday. and of course i kept myself busy as well picking up my beloveds* slack with gathering address' for his guest list, so i talked with a lot of people yesterday, all fabulous people, some i never even met & loved the fact i called & was myself & hilarious! ah am i a great chick or what, he is one lucky duck.

so i must say things are starting to fall into place & i am starting to be more at ease with where everything/on is & going. i think for now i will just sit back, kick my feet up (cause they ache all the time), enjoy the AC & just watch things happen for us because things are looking absolutely marvelous darling, simply marvelous!

always something, right.

so today i must admit i am feeling a wee-bit down in the dumps. there is a lot going on that i may blame lack of sleep due to the crazy insomnia i am currently having, along with my beloved* going back to work after his accident, the whole jitters about the babies arrival & i am trying to get my car insurance situation in line with a this new suv i have. blah! the whole car insurance, getting a car on the road (well really just transfering all the information from one car to another) is the one thing that is really stressing me out! it seems that i either am a horrible driver when it comes to listening to the "rules of parking" or am being completely ambushed by the registery system & double charged for certain tickets. in 2007 i hit my 6 year mark of being a driver, i am now "experienced" in their eyes & had to renew everything, HaHa to find out i had about $500 owed to the citys of somerville, malden, everett, & whoever else but i paid it off in order to renew my stuff but today as i got to just easily move information from my old betsy (i <3>did change my address but they no longer give you a sticker to place on the back of your id anymore they mail it to you! wtf is that. just give me the sticker i'm standing right here and of course! i don't have that either. ggrr. so i need to go to somerville, malden, beverely & revere! WTF. seriously stressing me out. and i of course know it's my own fault but that doesn't mean that these mean parking, registry, and city hall people need to go out & make the tax payers lives even more difficult. yes! i fcukd up, i parked somewhere i shouldn't have & i need to pay. because i don't pay when i should i'm penalized even more with late fees, taxes going up etc. so why do you need to take that extra step to make me go to 8 different cities & then to a registry where everyone & their mother is at. BLAH! blah is all i can say right now. but i must say my beloved* & parents somehow ( i have no idea how ) have been extremely patient with me & my "hormones" because my bible 'what to expect when expecting' says it's always the hormones & have also been a great help & with my insomnia in full bloom right now i don't sleep so i can get up early & run around then work all night! yay!
but of course the other issue of the baby jitters which co-insides with the fact we are in a tiny apartment will pass in time. we are seriously looking for a new place & finding a lot of great options we just need to wait for time & our lease! and i believe once we have the bigger place & i can feel secure that there's peanuts* place, snugglebutts place & a room of our own i think my mind will be at serious ease. and again my beloved* has been phenominal with me! i am not one of those crazy pregnant women you may be thinking of, i do stress out but i usually just get really quiet, & eventually tear up (yup my big pregnancy 'thing' lack of a better word at this time is crying). but he is phenominal at making sure i realize we are doin everything we can for this baby & snugglebutt, we got a new safer car, we are saving like crazy (well not really but we are working on that LoL) we have a few items that we need for peanut purchased already, & we are happy & healthy with each other. him & i agreed a long time ago we will never be "rich people" but we will be happy & healthy people, we feel you can't have them both in one lifetime so we will take making ends meet & being completely happy & healthy with each other, because isn't love what people really want in life, they want to be loved & have someone to love. so that always makes me very happy & we have this little peanut coming who i can just ooze my love all over all the time!
so i guess i am done at this time; bitching & moaning about things that are, i guess, on their way to being in order & all set. figures, i wanted to blog about how i am tired of seeing people "fml, i hate people, life is sor hard, etc etc" and i end up doing just that. blah. whatever i feel better. but i still do get annoyed with people who "hate people, fml, & cry about things that everyone has to deal with" happy tuesday fellow bloggers.

houston. we have movement!

so being 1.30 in the morning, having very little sleep from last night & spending the entire day in the sun/heat with aidan, my beloved* & family i am beat & will be cutting this short. tonight about 12.30am sunday 08/02/2009 peanuts movements were so strong that my beloved* & i both saw her leg/foot whatever! move my belly! o.m.g this is so exciting! i have been feeling movements, flickers, just have known that she's there for weeks now & my beloved* comes running every time in hopes to see/feel something but today for the first time we saw it together! o.m.g hallmark can not make a card for this. it was just absolutely amazing. of course my beloved* did come running, placed his hand on my belly, we waited (i was excited & laughing so it took me a minute to settle down) but nothing. poor beloved* it will come in time. we also have a checkup & another blood-work appt with the doctor this week, i am eager to see where my weight is now. i am enjoying the weight gain, find it strange if you will but i am loving it. i had two ice cream cones, deli sandwich, salad with chicken,  a few cookies, some carrot sticks with ranch & lots & lots of water and am loving every minute of it. ah! the joys of pregnancy. it's a beautiful & wonderful time. 

but as i said before this is a short blog tonight/this morning but i am off to try and sleep tonight, it's been difficult this week. but all is well! actually fantastic! 

REUNiTiNG*

i had to post the news, it is going to happen! i am so excited.
http://www.celebuzz.com/saved-bell-cast-reunites-s122821/

please, move on.

hello blogging world! happy wednesday, today will be my Sunday & i am back to work tomorrow, boo. so sad this mini vacation has been fabulous but i must say i am getting bored with being home & am looking forward to work, LoL that'll end about . .. oh i'd say an hour into thursday's shift. but today i wanted to just discuss something that has been bothering me for a few days now, why can't people move on & leave the past behind them? i mean i understand we've all had high points in our life we'd like to relive & do again just because it was that awesome. trust me! i've got summer 2007 where i had no cares in the world, went out every night & had a blast with my friends, or spring/fall 2005 when i was at jwu & had a blast with my sisters & college friends with again no cares in the world, or even the year 1998 when i really was care-free no job, hanging out everyday par-taking in activities i no longer do but unfortunately those times have come & gone. i am now 24 years old with a full-time job, working for the weekend & to pay rent, bills, student loans, & food and am pregnant. you can't go back people so please stop trying to. we all have periods of time where we would like to re-do it again for just one more day or week or hour even! why. things have changed for a reason, whether we're not in the "perfect" spot yet that we'd like to be in or in transition from one to life to the next we need to let go. things happened, people changed, things were said & they can never be taken back or altered, they're set in time. 

once again, i am not sure what my point is to this blog or if i even have one. but i needed to get things off my chest, i am surrounded by people who will not let their pasts go and if it didn't personally affect me i don't think i'd have much to say, keyword much! but since i am around these people in some sort of way & their actions affect me i am a lot more vocal about these topics. please! grow up, you are no longer 14 years old & can run around a mess as you seem to want to. would you please let your past go? certain events took place, most of which you had complete control of & happened in reaction to things you did so please you have a new, really good-looking life being put together in front of you, turn around & fully submerge yourself in that new life you have working for. and finally. stop being a complete rude, see you next tuesday-y, vindictive, horrid, ugly douchebag that looks good on no one especially on someone that was once your "good friend" &  you all of a sudden decided to turn completely against because . . . the only reason i can see if my life went in a direction that you wanted yours to? i'm sorry, i personally wasn't ready for where this road has taken me but i love it, am embracing it & letting go of the past & living this life i have, so please do so as well. trying to make others miserable because it seems apparent you are does nothing better than make you look like that ugly person i described earlier. 

man! does that feel better. people are just appalling & sad sometimes. wish that everyone was given the same characteristics sometimes to just move on & let things go. but i guess if that was so then we wouldn't be individuals. happy wednesday fellow bloggers, i am off to enjoy my last day off in the sun (hopefully) with my guy*