Bigger Person

So I want to say within the last year of my life, maybe a little longer I have heard the term "being the bigger person" all the g*d damn time, and honestly I am sick of that phrase. If I never hear it again it again I would be more than happy but not used towards me would make me ecstatic! I understand "being the bigger person" is not only a benefit  towards your character, ora & overall for yourself but in the heat of the moment to bite your bottom lip & just swallow that big pill called your pride is so hard it sometimes hurts! I was born with one of the best mixes ever, Irish & Italian but also probably two of the worst to be mixed together at the same time. Both Irish & Italians love their drinks & are easily temper-mental and extremely hot-headed, I am all of the above! So it took me a long time to become this "bigger person" but I am finally there and now being a novice to this way of life I am finding it extremely hard & not seeing the "bigger picture" or where I will benefit from this, cause come on we all can't just be this type of person all of the time not expecting for karma to shine a small moment of fabulousness on us, it's just inhumane. So still being on this fixation of needing to know where things begin, originated from & just why the hell these things ever began I had to go to that fabulous google website & get some answers. I mean honestly I understand why we do this but all the time, or more often than just speaking our mind the second we want to it is something I need to know, for my ability to continue this foreign way of life. The urban dictionary tells me that the

 "bigger person means : the person who is more mature than the opposite person, the person who makes more mature decisions."

So being the bigger person means that I can see that the person I am dealing with & make the "rash" decision even though they are being completely irrational. Okay I can agree with that, while thinking of different situations in my mind. Odd enough I got some more information for the website :http://martialarts4u.wordpress.com/ from a Sense Nick, he states that :

"We let it go and be the bigger person. By reacting to someone that is trying to hurt you or talk about you, all we do is become that person. And believe me, that is the last thing you want. Think about how that person has no confidence in them-self. Think about how that person wishes to see you suffer. Think about that person who is trying to make self look better by talking about you. These people are bullies. Today they are known as “Haters.”

What is a “Hater?” A hater is someone who is jealous of you. A “Hater” is someone who can’t stand to hear about your success. They spend countless hours trying to devise plans for your demise. These people are the opposite as leaders. Stay away from them, it is only a matter of time until they will ruin theselves. There is no need to waste your time with someone like this."

Of course somewhere someone wants to see someone else in pain, whether actual psychical pain or just emotional suffering, still some form of pain. So I can completely understand & see this, LoL we all do it please do not try and lie here, we're all adults. We all at some point in our life has wished someone didn't make the sporting team, get the award/medal they were going out for or just wished that they would get beat up or whatever, we have all done this! Now I must touch upon a highly touchy subject but it must be touched because we all have to deal with all different kinds of people & they may come across as people you wouldn't/couldn't be the bigger person with but there could be something actually wrong with these people?! So how do we deal with this? They may be mentally unstable, physically unstable (in whatever way) and can not preform, hold conversations we're used to or just may be completely internal in every aspect of their life, so what then? Even if we know this dealing with people in any of these situations can make it even that much more difficult to be the bigger person, and if we can not be the bigger person, we all have those days where we can't do it, what does that make us look like? Horrible monsters attacking people who try their best but can not (for a serious lack of better words, SORRY) not able to measure up?! (i need to invest in a thesaurus) 

It is hard enough to be able to be the mature person who makes these rational, mature decisions when others are trying to hurt us but how do we do this in these type of situations? I personally have had my favorite aunt have a moment of difficultly and being the bigger person with her was the worst/toughest thing ever, sometimes (only 18 yrs old at this time) I couldn't do it, I just couldn't I'd fill up with so much bitterness, anger & I would just want to dig right back at her. Does that make me a bad person? I mean in the heat of the moment, whether during a difficult time or a heated conversation it is hard for both parties to keep their composure &  be the bigger person, but once one of the parties has lost their cool & threw that thought out the window it is now that much harder for everyone involved. 

I tried finding the origination of the "being the bigger person" phrase but came up extremely short, I wanted to know maybe who was the first person that was able to actually pull this off & how it went for them & how the word of mouth got around & actually got through to people to actually try this out?! But no luck. I guess I am just stuck in a rut with my many questions, practice of being the bigger person & waiting for the sunshine of karma to give me a glimpse of hope that doing this is actually worth all the anger & grief that comes with these actions. I guess the fact that I can just do this without a pat on the back or acknowledgment is the real & sole reason of this phrase, there's no need for a reward or acknowledgment, if that were the case would it still be "being the bigger person" because there needs to be a reward? Who knows, but I can say this I am getting better at it, working on it everyday. Somedays are a lot harder than others but with the people me surrounding me, the situations that come up because of my work & just life in general maybe I can become the next level before life is over?! Well fellow bloggers, there is always some new topic to question tomorrow . . ciao*